Bipolar Disorder...

Serving4Christ said:

I really need prayer. I went and spoke to a paralegal today about divorce and I have a scheduled visit with an attorney tomorrow. This is really shattering me. All I can think of is how my children are going to be affected by this, and how selfish my spouse is not to want to get the help she needs to resolve this.

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Dan...

My prayer for you is that God would give you strength of mind and clarity. I pray that you would have an undivided heart and mind. I can't imagine what you are going through and wish you didn't have to be going through it either.

Surround yourself with people who know and love the Lord.

Peace and comfort to you,
LC

WithHisBloodWentOurSin said:

Sorry serving that im not replying to yours

Uh to clarify is that my best friend,just met (who is under questioning of being a delusion) lives in scotland, whereas i live in canada. Yet i see him everyday and talk to him because his dad invented a machine that sends holograms around the world, but can only connect with one mind... so my question is...am i seeing things and i dont accually have a friend or is that a scientific break through?

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Have you mentioned your friend to your doctor? To date, there haven't been any breakthroughs where holograms can only communicate with you. Sometimes our minds create things to give us help and comfort when we feel alone and need support. Other times the enemy may seek to take over our minds by posing as a benign entity. While you may not have a friend in Scotland... you have plenty of friends here. See your doctor. Tell your parents. Talk to your pastor or priest.... but it's time to confront the truth that you're friend may be a dellusion telling you that you need help.

Praying for you.

LC

WithHisBloodWentOurSin said:

as for the weight gain, i was on a drug seriquil (just sound it out) and my doctor told me that it makes me crave carbs, which in the wrong amount are quite fattening. Right now im on lithium and it seems to be working but i hate taking meds because i seem to have more hibitations (normally i would walk around school in yellow ducky pj's) Now im accually caring what people think, and i dont like that. its not a good thing for my theatre career. I also feel that i should have more energy then i do but everyone seems to think that im fine as is.

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Are you still on lithium? If not, have you stopped taking it on your own or had a prescribed med change?

LC has given you good advice about contacting your doctor. And she's so right, you do have friends here.

Allye

ps Read her journel to see how good medicated talent can be - Adventures of a Bipolar Girl in the journels forum.

WithHisBloodWentOurSin said:

so as stands... he talks to me, is my friend...but only i can see or hear him. i know that sounds crazy

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You're hallucinating or something like that. Ask your doctor about Geodon. DO IT!

btw, I'm Bipolar, my daily meds are (taken in the evening):
Depakote 250mg
Lexapro 10mg
Geodon 40mg
Benadryl 50mg

WithHisBloodWentOurSin said:

whats Geodon do? I told my counseller and she says that this guy although most likely not real is probally healthy for me right now as long as its not troubling...the fact is that it wasnt troubling when i Knew he was real but now that i know hes not it scares me

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What scares you most about your friend?

Your doctor told you it was healthy to have hallucinations? What do your parents think? If possible I'd look into getting another doctor. Also, have you prayed about this friend? If not, I think it would be wise to introduce your friend to God and get his perspective on it. One last question... when did your friend come into your life? What circumstances were unfolding in your life that your subconscious created a friend for you to communicate with...??

LC
As, always, praying for you.

What is GEODON?
Answer: Geodon is a type of prescription medicine called an antipsychotic. Antipsychotics are medicines used to treat symptoms of schizophrenia that may include:
1) hearing voices, seeing things, or sensing things that are not there
2) mistaken beliefs
3) unusual suspiciousness
4) becoming withdrawn from family and friends

WithHisBloodWentOurSin said:

well, he seems to have gone away

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Hello everyone

I just found this forum a few weeks ago and it has helped me a lot. I was diagnosed with bpd in January 2003 after an extreme manic episode ( I had been depressed for years) I lost my job and just about lost my marriage. I put my husband and 2 daughters through hell. My medication ( risperdal) made me feel like a zombie, so in July 03 I decided ( without my husband knowing) to stop taking it. BIG mistake. Also, I was raised by an abusive atheist father and an indifferent mother, so prior to my first manic episode, I didn't even believe in God. After I was diagnosed I had come to a strong belief in God and didn't know what to do next, so I turned to Jehovah's witnesses. Their teachings about Jesus just got me more confused and I was almost ready to turn my back on God again. I stopped taking my meds in July 03 and just sat at home worrying and my behaviours started to change again. I kept researching and trying to figure the whole Jesus thing out. I had another manic episode in January of this year and when my husband found out that I had stopped the meds he asked me to leave and I had to spend 3 VERY long weeks getting over the mania at my mothers. Every day I prayed that God would help him and me to understand my illness. Finally, after one really trying evening with my mother I told God, "I don't know how much more of this I can take" and the next morning my husband called and asked me to come home! Praise God! No sooner did I get home and I slid into depression. My poor husband. The Jehovah's witness I was studying with did not understand what was going on. During my mania I told her that I thought that there might be a trinity and she got very angry with me and was putting a lot of pressure on me. I started attending a small non denominational church and joined a womens bible study group ( its wonderful!) and she told me I was being led and taught by satan. I know I'm not though because it just feels so right and I finally asked Jesus to come into my heart this past February. So now I have Jesus to battle my depression and I am so grateful for what He has done for me. Now I am trying to find a job, and with my social avoidance, it is totally nerve wracking. I keep coming to this forum and I am learning so much. Laurel crowned, if you are reading this, you are a hero to me...out there every day working with children. You must have infinite patience! I read your journal and I often write down sayings and quotes that you have wrote. They are very inspirational, so keep up the good work, and I have been praying for you. Actually that goes for everyone on here, keep up the good work!!! It is helping people.
Take care and have a great day.

Hi Alef,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I could identify with several of your points... especially the one about looking for work and have social avoidance issues. Considering how much I hate being in crowds or social situations... the irony of me being a teacher is HUGE. Looking for work can trigger episodes in me faster than you could blink... my prayers will be with you even after the Lord leads you to a job.

As for you kinds words to me? Thank you. If my words have helped you find any comfort than I give all praise to God.

Peace,
LC

Welcome Alef

It seems as though God is leading you in so many right directions. I praise him for that and pray for strength for you as you search for a job and deal with just being bipolar.

CF is a most incredible blessing and LC is an among us.

Love,
Allye

Allye said:

Welcome Alef

It seems as though God is leading you in so many right directions. I praise him for that and pray for strength for you as you search for a job and deal with just being bipolar.

CF is a most incredible blessing and LC is an among us.

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Allye, you're too kind. How are you doing lately? I haven't PMed you in eons.

LC

Laurel Crowned said:

Allye, you're too kind. How are you doing lately? I haven't PMed you in eons.

LC

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Pretty well, thanks! We haven't PMed in a while, have we? I scan your journel periodically to keep up with you and have comfort knowing you're there if I do need you.

I noticed your work nightmares- must be a bipolar thing. Depoke ER has helped me with this. It's working so well in general for me, praise God! I'm still titrating my dose, though- I was up 'til 1:00 last night. Like you said in your journel- that is not a good thing I worked until 8:30pm and couldn't wind down. I've got a CME conference next week in Chicago- one of those all-expenses-paid-in-the-Hyatt-on-the-shore deals- so I'm really pushing to leave work stuff in something approaching order so I can have fun, ...oh, uh, and learn. You know some of those presentations are just too boring to sit through, though .

Back to the nightmares, have they gotten worse lately? You've mentioned them a lot.

Love you ,
Allye

ps I'm not planning to waste much of my company's money- several of the programs are duplicates of meetings I've recently attended- I'll be studying during those hours ...just in an art museum.

Hi Laurel Crowned and Allye

Thanks for the welcome. I do feel like God is leading me in the right directions. I was wondering about medication...does everyone get dragged out and really tired on theirs, or is it just this risperdal that my dr. has me on, or is it the depression? What do you do to alleviate the tiredness? I know I should exercise but of course I just don't have the energy. Any tips? Thanks

alef said:

Hi Laurel Crowned and Allye

Thanks for the welcome. I do feel like God is leading me in the right directions. I was wondering about medication...does everyone get dragged out and really tired on theirs, or is it just this risperdal that my dr. has me on, or is it the depression? What do you do to alleviate the tiredness? I know I should exercise but of course I just don't have the energy. Any tips? Thanks

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I've never been on risperdal, but both lithium and seroquel did sap my energy-seroquel to the point I literally felt like I had to use consicous thought to lift a foot to take a step. Didn't stay on that one long. Depakote ER hasn't had this effect on me and I've had better sleep with it than with anything, so I am exercising more. No two bodies and minds are the same though- so it becomes a trial and error to find what's best for you. Is your doctor willing to work with you to find your optimal meds?

Allye

Allye said:

I've never been on risperdal, but both lithium and seroquel did sap my energy-seroquel to the point I literally felt like I had to use consicous thought to lift a foot to take a step. Didn't stay on that one long. Depakote ER hasn't had this effect on me and I've had better sleep with it than with anything, so I am exercising more. No two bodies and minds are the same though- so it becomes a trial and error to find what's best for you. Is your doctor willing to work with you to find your optimal meds?

Allye

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I'm hoping that he will be willing to try me on something different. I have been on risperdal since the middle of Feb. I asked him mid March if we could try a mood stabilizer and he said he wanted to keep me on this. I was still a bit manic then though. I tried some yoga today, its so gentle and easy, I just need to keep it up. Funny thing is, I was watching Joyce Meyer this morning and contemplating exercise when she quoted Proverb 18:9 which says, "One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys" What a great motivating scripture, the sad part is the medication and depression makes me feel like a slacker, hence the vicious circle. It did motivate me to do yoga though!
Laurel Crowned, I have nightmares too so I know what you are going through. I also read your opinion on 2Cor 12:7-10 about Pauls thorn in his fleah, a messenger of Satan to torment him. I agree with you,and I believe its a proper analogy for the depressive negative thoughts that come with being bipolar. I don't know if this is true but I read once that it was suspected that Paul may have been bipolar.

Have a great day

Hi there!

My mother is/was bipolar with a bit of schizo mixed in, so I know what you are going through. I just wanted to encourage you by saying that my mother is currently not taking ANY medication and she has been episode free for over a year. Things with her used to be so severe that we had to institutionalize her several times. I believe it is a miracle from God.

I remember the medication she took would make her exceptionally drowsy. Her speech was slurred and she staggered around the house. Of course, we were in Korea at the time. I don't know what they would have prescribed her, if she was here in the US.

I was told that repirdol (sp?) is excellent, and has worked miracles with some folks. I was told this from one of the support groups I was a part of. *BIG HUGS* You are strong women, and I pray God will shower you with blessings!

alef said:

I'm hoping that he will be willing to try me on something different. I have been on risperdal since the middle of Feb. I asked him mid March if we could try a mood stabilizer and he said he wanted to keep me on this. I was still a bit manic then though. I tried some yoga today, its so gentle and easy, I just need to keep it up. Funny thing is, I was watching Joyce Meyer this morning and contemplating exercise when she quoted Proverb 18:9 which says, "One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys" What a great motivating scripture, the sad part is the medication and depression makes me feel like a slacker, hence the vicious circle. It did motivate me to do yoga though!
Laurel Crowned, I have nightmares too so I know what you are going through. I also read your opinion on 2Cor 12:7-10 about Pauls thorn in his fleah, a messenger of Satan to torment him. I agree with you,and I believe its a proper analogy for the depressive negative thoughts that come with being bipolar. I don't know if this is true but I read once that it was suspected that Paul may have been bipolar.

Have a great day

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for the yoga. I've got Suzanne Deason's Yoga for Relaxation dvd and it's wonderful.

Regarding your comment to LC regarding Paul and bipolar- my mom read about that years ago, but we've not been able to locate the article. You can almost feel it in his syntax. There are times when I feel manic that I can't read him. Weird, huh?

I hope your doctor will be willing to work with you to find the right meds for you. If not you may need a new doctor. Been there done that more than once. I now drive 170 miles to a wonderful psychiatrist who actually listens and lets me experiment to find what I need.

God bless,
Allye

humblegyrl said:

Hi there!

My mother is/was bipolar with a bit of schizo mixed in, so I know what you are going through. I just wanted to encourage you by saying that my mother is currently not taking ANY medication and she has been episode free for over a year. Things with her used to be so severe that we had to institutionalize her several times. I believe it is a miracle from God.

I remember the medication she took would make her exceptionally drowsy. Her speech was slurred and she staggered around the house. Of course, we were in Korea at the time. I don't know what they would have prescribed her, if she was here in the US.

I was told that repirdol (sp?) is excellent, and has worked miracles with some folks. I was told this from one of the support groups I was a part of. *BIG HUGS* You are strong women, and I pray God will shower you with blessings!

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Praise for your mom's good year and I hope this truly is a miracle. Don't let yourself be disappointed, though, if she does have problems again. Her diagnoses are genetic, and while God does sometimes miraculously heal, for some reason - in this world- he does allow illness. Check my profile favorite scriptures, though. We'll someday be where there is no bipolar or schizophrenia

Thanks for the compliments, hugs and blessings!

In my weakness He is strong...

Allye