Bipolar Disorder...

General. In my position, I cannot see a psychiatrist... touchy situation.

canadiancarebear said:

He's pretty bad. He was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.
A university here in Nova Scotia was doing a study about bipolar and diabetes, apparently it is VERY serious.
His weight goes UP and DOWN, you never know what he'll look like.

...He has tried a million times to quit smoking. He has been successful some of the times but I don't know how that's going now. He was doing great and then started up again, and now he is stopped again I think.

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It does sound like he has a lot going on. One symptom of bipolar disorder can be carbohydrate craving which leads to weight gain which can cause type II diabetes. Some of the meds can also contribute to weight gain but thankfully that's been improved with the extended release meds. Is he enrolled in the university study? I will be interested to see their final data- that's in my field (dietetics).

How have you dealt with his ups and downs through the years?

Allye

Serving4Christ said:

General. In my position, I cannot see a psychiatrist... touchy situation.

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military?

Yup

Nice guess!

Serving4Christ said:

Nice guess!

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I'm not psychic! You mentioned it earlier. Just a thought... *slaps wrist on CF* Do you ever have headaches? Depakote ER that I told you is helping me so much is also used for migraine prophylaxis. Surely you've had headaches? Or, would migraines be a bad diagnosis, too?

Kidding aside, I will so much keep you in my prayers. We need you guys right now. Just remember- Winston Churchill was bipolar. Although he was political, not military, he was pivotal.

He isn't in the actual study and I don't know how it/was is working out (the study). I read in the paper awhile back. It's Dalhousie University in Halifax, Nova Scotia.
Oh i love carbs myself... i hope i don't get type 2!! pasta is something i live off of!
he's just tried different meds and i think he is doing alright now with the weight. the stopping and starting off smoking off and on has been a factor too.

Allye said:

It does sound like he has a lot going on. One symptom of bipolar disorder can be carbohydrate craving which leads to weight gain which can cause type II diabetes. Some of the meds can also contribute to weight gain but thankfully that's been improved with the extended release meds. Is he enrolled in the university study? I will be interested to see their final data- that's in my field (dietetics).

How have you dealt with his ups and downs through the years?

Allye

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Actually I do. I've been having ocular symptoms since 2000, that recenly have gone to full Migraines. Good suggestion.

Serving4Christ said:

Actually I do. I've been having ocular symptoms since 2000, that recenly have gone to full Migraines. Good suggestion.

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You are in my prayers

WELCOME BACK LC!
Glad you had a good trip


Allye

Struggles: Rant

Today, Ressurection Day, was suppose to be a good day. A day worth celebrating. However, last night my wife pushed the wrong button again. Actually, it started a couple of days ago; except it's been ongoing now for years. I've tried to hang in there; but she just doesn't understand, nor will she ever.

I changed my Major a couple of days ago from Psychology to Bachelor of Science Multidisciplinary (45 SHrs Religion/15 SHrs Psychology) so I can do Christian counseling. All that did was give her another stake to drive in my heart.

We have no communication! She has no friends because she can't communicate with them, and when she does she nit picks them to death. And or she doesn't know how to keep hurtful comments to herself. Her family really don't keep contact with her, and my close friend I think of as Dad tried to take her on as his own family and she just up and decided one day she hated him.

I'm really tired. Why is it I have many many friends out there in the world, no enemies, I get along with everyone, I can communicate with anybody on any topic and we'll have a good time, and yet I can't have one single conversation with my spouse?

Try counseling? We did...until she decided to come home and told me the counselor said I was immature and selfish. So when I called the counselor up, she said she never said that and requested I get Amy to meet with her alone. She told me she never had a man sit in the room as long as I did and take what I took. Amy met with her for 2 sessions, called her a b#$@@ (sorry) and left, never to go back to another session. I've tried getting counseling for myself...only to meet the same resistance over and over again with her. Nothing is wrong with her.

Just the other night we talked on the phone about getting rid of cable and internet so we could have more devotional time together, and I no sooner got home from work in the morning and she let me have it for a comment I made. She goes to bed at 1:00 am and gets up at 6:45 and complains because she doesn't get enough rest. All I said was, "perhaps you should go to bed a little earler so you feel rested." That was enough to cause her to tell me we never have any conversation, she don't like talking to me, I don't need to make comments, and why do I even talk to you etc...

Last night she ripped my 1 yr old boy out of my arms to take him to bed. I told her I would take him to bed, and she ignored the statement and ripped him out anyway. I was a bit upset because she plays the kids on me all the time and I can't stand that as my parents did that to me when I was younger. I try to shelter them from any argument we have, yet she yells and screams at me right in front of them all the time.

Last night she told me she wishes she had a man that she could have a good relationship with, that would listen to her, and show her affection. I'm leaving out all the curse words involved.

I just don't get it. I take the gun to a friends house for my own safety, she goes and picks it up and brings it back home even after I told her why I took it there. She sends the kids to bed without giving me a kiss goodnight, which I never do to her. She talks bad about me in front of the kids which I never do to her. Last year for Easter, she didn't even wait 30 minutes until I got home from work before she let the kids find their Easter eggs...just another important moment in their lives I missed. Every holiday is a depressing day for me. I dread holidays. She tells me things like, "I hope you die" in front of the kids. She'll tell the kids they can do something right after I tell them no. She lets my 1 year old walk around in the house with a toothbrush in his mouth and when I ask her not to do it, she does it anyway.

She's a stay home mom and I don't place any restrictions on her. She's free to come and go and do as she pleases. I just don't understand why she feels its okay to treat me the way she does. She stopped birth control on me without telling me for our 3rd child. Our agreement was two children.

I'm really hurting and I don't know what to do. Every year it just gets worse and worse. Last night she was screaming at me in front of the kids telling me, "Oh, your such a good Christian...yet you can't even be a man, you're a s**t, everyone knows how you are, go ahead and take some bible classes...Christian counseling and you can't even get your own life straight. Show me what a man you are, show the kids what a man you are!"

I give up. She's shredding my heart. My kids are smart enough to know what's going on. She places them right in the middle. More than the hurt for myself, I hurt for my kids. They never asked for any of this. I already have heart problems, and will be looking into open heart surgery in my future for 3 leaking heart valves and aortic insufficicency. She never believe anything was wrong with me until the day I passed out and seized because my heart rate went down to 20 beats a minute and blood pressure went down to 50/20. No matter how many depression meds I take, I dread coming home. I dread life. I dread her. And most of all, I dread not having someone communicate with and to love me. I'm only loved on the aspect of financial management and support.

I'm sorry this is so long, but I had to get it out.

Dan,

As I read your post my heart ached for you. I have absolutely no point of reference for what you are going through. I have no wonderful words of wisdom or comfort. I can't imagine what you are going through... but my prayers are with you.

God? When is enough enough? how much pain and suffering do you allow before your comfort and healing rush in? When the pain pushes in on all sides and there seems to be no release, when do you breath, "ENOUGH!" and let the light of your loving presence break through the darkness?

Our mind is truly a battle field Father. Dan's mind, heart, and emotions are all under attack from the person... the one person in life who promised to love, honor, and cherish him above all others. Knowing that she is not his enemy no matter how hard she tries to tear him down, I ask you to seize her heart Lord. Break the hard dried up organ that it has become until it remains a fragile, beating thing in your hand. Remind her of the love she had for the husband of her youth. More importantly, confront her with the loving conviction of the living God. Show her how horrid and ugly her ways are. Let her fall on her face in repentance, knowing that she has sinned against you.

Give Dan a peace of heart and a mental oasis amidst the storm. Protect his children from the hurtful words flying around in their home like harpies.

Death and Resurrection? Amy's sins were on that cross too. Forgive her Father... becuase she not only has no idea how hurtful her words truly are... but she has no idea the peril she is in. Wake her up. Shake her up. Help her make up her heart and mind to walk according to your will and your ways. To be a helper suitable to Dan... not one to tear him down but to help build him up. Heal whatever hurts cause her to lash out at the one man who promised to love, honor, and cherish her above all others.

Into this marriage, come. I ask this in the glorius name of the Lord Jesus, amen.

~Dan... my prayers will continue to be with you.

LC

Thank you LC for such a heart-felt prayer.

Allye said:

WELCOME BACK LC!
Glad you had a good trip


Allye

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Hey Allye!!!

It is SOOOOooooo good to be back on CF (not back from vacation)... I'm already having Mickey withdrawls.

After my technicolor waking dream to the land of the giant mouse... I'm convinced (jokingly) that his true intention is total world domination. That ride Spaceship Earth? The big white golf ball??? It's really the Mother Ship. Who but a giant extraterrestial rat from another galaxy to could get people to worship him so much so that they would spend that much money and that much energy running around wearing all sorts of mouse memorabilia, eating waffles and other foods with his imprint on it... and having fits about getting autographs from other giant oddities as a giant duck, two bipedal dogs, and a couple of squirrels named Chip and Dale???

Add that to waiting in lines for hours for a 15 minute ride in a fake boat looking at fake children singing about how small the world is... and I figure one more international theme park... and we're doomed. World domination. Right??? LA is covered. Florida. Japan. Paris. That's three of the seven continents covered.

Ok... all l joking aside... I had an awesome time with only one bipolar moment. My friend was able to help me confront the negative thoughts that were starting to make me spiral. I really needed to just have that time away from my life. Now I'm back. I ended up sleeping most of this morning because I really was tired. I ended up missing Easter service but to be honest? I don't need a special Sunday service to remind me of what Christ did for me. Sure, it was probably really emotional and people probably cried... but giving my tendency to spiral down when I'm emotionally charged, it was probably a good thing that I missed it anyway.

I've reached a point in my life and in my understanding of my disorder that I want to believe by faith and not emotions/feelings that Christ is working in my life. Do I want to "feel the love tonight?" Can't avoid some Disney references... Yes. I want to feel God's love... but I've come to know that it isn't always when things are going well or going my way that I feel it. Many times it is when everything is going wrong and my life seems to be spinning out of control that I have become most aware of God's love for me.

"Hacuna Mattata?" Another life lesson that I can take from Disney and apply to my faith. Jesus told us not to worry too. My problems won't disappear... but if I decide by faith, not to worry about them... their importance will shrink.

Funny how some people at WDW thought those really big roller coasters were fun. Scared the spit out of me. Attitude is everything. It's how you look at a problem, a limitation, a hill that will determine how you respond to it. I'm learning that through that book my therapist as me to read. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I like it. It's like taking thoughts captive that have set themselves up against the knowledge and awareness of Christ.

Ok... I could go on... but here and now it not the place. This is more like Journal stuff.

Anyway, it's good to be back.

LC

Hi Dan,

I keep thinking about your post. So many verses come to mind but the one at the forefront is the shortest "Jesus wept". I feel so limited as a cyberspace friend, am not even sure my PMs are getting through. I wish we could gather with you physically and pray.

Praying,
Allye

WithHisBloodWentOurSin said:

um... this is rather a touch situation for me...im begining to think that my best friend who i just made...is well a delusion or a hallucination or something. Because he lives in scotland and im in BC canada and he projects his image to me with a machine his father made... so um yah... is that possible?

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Hi WithHisBloodWentOurSin,

I'm not sure I understand what you mean. Could you clarify??

LC

I really need prayer. I went and spoke to a paralegal today about divorce and I have a scheduled visit with an attorney tomorrow. This is really shattering me. All I can think of is how my children are going to be affected by this, and how selfish my spouse is not to want to get the help she needs to resolve this.