peace , peace...i come in peace.
Faith, i truly hope you don't leave over this misunderstanding. It's weird cause just before i came across this thread just now i was thinking that this is the best corner on christian forums...i.e...everywhere else seems always a debate...I have never experienced insensitivity from any of the regulars here at all!....they've all been extremely gentle, understanding and helpful beyond words. On forums such as these, we christians can be too overly sensitive, combative and even militant at times. It shows what little difference, but for god's grace, there is between us and the rest of the population...at least in this area.
Come now, let us show the world that we are different and try to talk out this matter peacefully.
Faith, i do believe your questions were in earnest and now that you tell us about your husband it makes even more sense that you should have such questions. I want to encourage you to stay and talk with us, because we really could help you understand your husband better and help you to help him. Perhaps timeo jumped the gun or misunderstood your questions, but please understand that we bipolars have experienced sooooooo much pain from those who should be helping us most...i.e the church. Understand that many our own churches as well as those who drop in here, accuse, judge and condemn us for either being demon possessed, lacking in faith or just plain weak. There is a great deal of stigma on us already by non christians and we find it so painful for being ostricized on every front....even by those who love us most...such as family.
Our medical condition is well documented as a scientific fact and it is no fault of our own that we suffer from this difficult condition. Not all bipolars sin sexually or murder people or sin in anyway when manic or depressed. It's not as simple as that, but i won't go into that now. My point is that i think timeo was suspicious or possibly guarded because we have all been so wounded and angered by ignorant and cruel judgments placed on us by others which only compounds our already guilt-ridden or burdensome lot. I only say guilt, not because we are, but because feelings of guilt are often one of the symptoms when experiencing a depressed episode. I'm not saying at all that you meant any harm with your questions or were being under-handed...i think you are wanting to understand and i see this is new for you. You seem to have confusion about the matter and that's ok.
Timeo i hope i'm not being presumptuous by speaking on your behalf....i don't know you, but i see you have a well intended heart and have been hurt as i have. I don't get the impression you are a harsh person. I am wanting to help this person because her husband needs her to understand and help him. Our churches have been at fault for teaching some of these false doctrines about demon possession, weak faith etc...though, at the end, i believe the responsibility lies with the individual christian once they have matured in their walk. Even though they should, many non-mentally ill christians never think about this except for in theory, but when this disease strikes home with them they are suddenly challenged in their spiritual understanding because this disease involves moral issues and choice.
That is why i believe we are doubly challenged than just the purely physically ill...this is not only a biological illness, but one of the mind, then on top of that we are cursed and shunned. We are the lepors of our age, though thankfully the world has changed their view of us greatly. Unlike other illnesses, our symptoms are not so easily remedied with say surgery or meds themselves since neuroscience is still in its infancy nor can the two realms of nature and nurture be so easily separated.
On top of all this, we have to contend with the stigmas and the fact that our illness is not seen outwardly like a broken leg or a cough. People don't understand the difference between clinical depression and "normal" depression common to all men, nor can they understand the difference between sinful impulses and judgement impairing impulses triggered by mania.
Faith, i hope you can overlook any offense or misunderstanding and be understanding of our sensitivities. We have been gravely wounded and have difficulty trusting or getting over our resentments for the harsh treatment we have received from those who should be our safest beacons. There are those who tragically been driven to suicide from mere shame alone.
I would be happy to discuss your questions with you in the best way i can as i'm sure many here would as well. Please feel free with us regarding your husband's condition...you are among friends and there is nothing to be ashamed of regarding his illness....we are not ashamed since this is the way we were born.
As for behavior, morality and choice....that is a huge topic that i myself am trying to still understand, but i will say a few things:
1. Clinical mental illness is not demonic possession or oppression nor is demon possession mental illness though it may appear so.
2. God chooses to allow some sicknesses to continue and he chooses to heal others. Paul begged God to remove the thorn from his side 3 times...(some scholars believe this had to do with his blindness) whatever it was, it was torturous either physically, mentally or both. What did God do? Nothing, but give him grace. Paul concluded that his grace was sufficient. Did Paul lack faith? Christ begged god to take the cup away if there was some other way. There was no other way, so he did not. We wouldn't say that Christ was weak in his faith would we? Sometimes god allows for suffering (not only through sickness) in order to teach us character, produce stronger faith, increase hope, re-focus us to what is most valuable and even to save us from utter destruction. There are stories of famous and wealthy people who seemingly lived charmed, but godless lives, when suddenly they lost their limbs or became paralyzed or even imprisoned and they will tell you that were it not for these misfortunes they would not have known God's merciful salvation.
We here at this forum are in different places and stages with our faith and illness, but i assure you this, i would venture to say...we have all learned a great deal of humility and compassion for those who have been outcasts or disenfranchised. We have come closer to what it means to be meek and poor in spirit and for this we shall see the face of god.
I don't believe that all bipolars automatically lose their free will to choose wrong and right nor do i believe that god is unforgiving when a sin does occur as a result of judgment impairment. A sin is still a sin....no one goes to hell for sins, they go to hell for an unrepentant lifestyle of habitual sins which is a sign that christ did not already die for their sins. Remember, christ already paid the price, our only job is to accept his grace and allow him to take away our sins, not by our own steam, but by filling up our lives with the things of god to the point when habitual sin is eventually pushed out. That is what is meant by living by the spirit as opposed to living by the law.
Anyway, i digress.....
Hope you stick with us and give us a chance for your husband's sake. I hope he is taking his meds and seeking treatment. i will pray for the both of you....comfort and peace for him and understanding and clarity for you.
Sincerely yours
monica
Well done!
