Bipolar and addiction

[loveiseverywhere]

I'm facing a huge dilemma. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I am also an addict. I have been using crack for ten years. I have been clean only two weeks now and my family wants me to go to treatment because they don't think i can do it without INPATIENT TREATMENT. The problem is that I can't get into a facility because there is a waiting list. The only place that has a bed is a Christian recovery home for woment but they will not let me take my meds for depression.

My family thinks I can all of a sudden go off my meds now and everything will be fine. I have to have a physicians release to do this. My psychiatrist has to say it's okay to go off these meds.

My family says it should be up to me. Oh, so now they're going to trust me with a life decision about whether to take my meds or not but they don't trust me to get clean by going to meetings?

It's totally contradictory. They don't think I can make the decision to stay clean no matter what but they do think I know whether I can get along okay without my meds. The truth is I DON"T KNOW how I'll function without them. I've only been taking them faithfully for two weeks now.

Bottom line: If i don't go into this place everyone is going to freak out.

What should I do?

 

[walshclan]

Wow!! What a choice!!

I pray over loveiseverywhere that she have your wisdom for this very difficult choice and that she does your will God. I pray that her family and friends have understanding in this time that both choices are equally unattractive and that they support her in whatever choice she makes. In Jesus' name. Amen.

I'd make the choice this way (unless you have a feeling from God). Which one (living without my bipolar meds in a recovery house OR trying to stay off crack waiting for a treatment bed) is going to do the most harm to me. You know yourself the best. Be brutally honest. Whatever you figure will do you the most harm do the other one.

Connie

 

[youthwalk]

Wow!! What a choice!!

I pray over loveiseverywhere that she have your wisdom for this very difficult choice and that she does your will God. I pray that her family and friends have understanding in this time that both choices are equally unattractive and that they support her in whatever choice she makes. In Jesus' name. Amen.

I'd make the choice this way (unless you have a feeling from God). Which one (living without my bipolar meds in a recovery house OR trying to stay off crack waiting for a treatment bed) is going to do the most harm to me. You know yourself the best. Be brutally honest. Whatever you figure will do you the most harm do the other one.

Connie

Amen and Amen.
Sound advice.

I think especially as bipolars we need to be brutally honest with ourselves.

You do need to kick the crack habit. It hink that should take priority. I could be wrong but I think you should tackle that one first, in the safest way possible.

I don't know how it works and what the system is like but can you go into rehab with special instructions, as in you will be closely monintored while in there so as to minimise the consequences, or control the consequences of going withoout meds?

Can they closely monitor your swings so that the depression from drug withdrawal and depressionfrom bipolar are not overwhelming?

Is there any way for them to medicate you themselves which something that'll help but not interfere?

i'm praying for you at this point of transition.
Father, please be with Loveiseverywhere at this point of her need. Holy Spirit bring guidance to her that she will make the best choices. Grant her family wisdom and let them act out of Your love. Lord, meet her at the point of each need and strengthen her inner man for this challenge. Lord, release her from the binds of addiction and touch her boday and mind that she will be a conqueror. In Jesus' name, Amen.

 

[rushingwind62]

I'm facing a huge dilemma. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I am also an addict. I have been using crack for ten years. I have been clean only two weeks now and my family wants me to go to treatment because they don't think i can do it without INPATIENT TREATMENT. The problem is that I can't get into a facility because there is a waiting list. The only place that has a bed is a Christian recovery home for woment but they will not let me take my meds for depression.

My family thinks I can all of a sudden go off my meds now and everything will be fine. I have to have a physicians release to do this. My psychiatrist has to say it's okay to go off these meds.

My family says it should be up to me. Oh, so now they're going to trust me with a life decision about whether to take my meds or not but they don't trust me to get clean by going to meetings?

It's totally contradictory. They don't think I can make the decision to stay clean no matter what but they do think I know whether I can get along okay without my meds. The truth is I DON"T KNOW how I'll function without them. I've only been taking them faithfully for two weeks now.

Bottom line: If i don't go into this place everyone is going to freak out.

What should I do?

I know where you are at, because I am an alcoholic. Sober for a year now. I don't recommend coming off the meds because they are helping you to think clearly. It is not easy when you are an addict or alcoholic and a bp as well. But we (bp's) tend to have our crutches of how we deal with things. I can't tell you what to do with your addiction. Only you know whether you truly want to change. If you do truly want to change a controlled enviroment can help but in the end it is up to you to keep yourself clean.

As for your family, they don't understand your delimia and how important it is for you to stay on your meds. I would recommend getting them all the info you can on your illness (bp) and maybe even have them go with you to your psychatrist so they can get a better understanding. Meds are not going to heal you, they merely correct the imbalance in your brain and help you to maintain stability....my prayers are with you and God Bless YOU!!...Rush

 

[PrairieGurl]

I know where you are at, because I am an alcoholic. Sober for a year now. I don't recommend coming off the meds because they are helping you to think clearly. It is not easy when you are an addict or alcoholic and a bp as well. But we (bp's) tend to have our crutches of how we deal with things. I can't tell you what to do with your addiction. Only you know whether you truly want to change. If you do truly want to change a controlled enviroment can help but in the end it is up to you to keep yourself clean.

As for your family, they don't understand your delimia and how important it is for you to stay on your meds. I would recommend getting them all the info you can on your illness (bp) and maybe even have them go with you to your psychatrist so they can get a better understanding. Meds are not going to heal you, they merely correct the imbalance in your brain and help you to maintain stability....my prayers are with you and God Bless YOU!!...Rush

Dear Loveiseverywhere ,

Rush (and the other " s") have very wise comments!

I was in Detox (in June 06) re: alcohol and Rx addictions. During that time I did not have my meds (at that time the ones I was on weren't working anyways) I did not go to a treatment center, but "white knuckled" it at home with the support of my family, Addictions counseler, doc & pdoc. Personally I had to deal with my addictions 1st as with the abuse I was doing to my body...the meds (had they been the right ones for me) would not be working as they should anyways.

Most meds do not really "kick in" for up to 3-4 weeks. I'm not sure what you are on, but this is kinda the norm. Of course we all react differently to meds.

The gals here with their s...I agree with them.

With s & s,
Wendy

 

[loveiseverywhere]

Here's the deal. I went to my pdoc and he said he'd take me off Wellbutrin by cutting it in half and then stopping in a week. Then he's going to taper off my mood stabilizers.

I think going off my meds is not a good idea.

My boyfriend and his family and my mom are convinced that I cannot stay clean on my own.

But guess what? I've been in treatment three times and I've always come out and used again.

I BELIEVE I can stay clean because by His stripes I am healed.

I'm really tired of everyone telling me what THEY want me to do. It's not their decision, it's MINE. Heck, I could go into rehab and come out in three months, get a place to live and get a job and relapse in a month.

However, if I stayed clean under all this pressure in the real world (where I have to come back to eventually) wouldn't that prove me stronger? I think so.

Everyone wants to stick me in this protective bubble and it's not realistic. They have their ideas and their preconcieved notions and I think they are dead wrong.

I'm going to stay clean even if my butt falls off. Period.

 

[Mitsy]

Good for you I'll be praying! I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

 

[youthwalk]

Here's the deal. I went to my pdoc and he said he'd take me off Wellbutrin by cutting it in half and then stopping in a week. Then he's going to taper off my mood stabilizers.

I think going off my meds is not a good idea.

My boyfriend and his family and my mom are convinced that I cannot stay clean on my own.

But guess what? I've been in treatment three times and I've always come out and used again.

I BELIEVE I can stay clean because by His stripes I am healed.

I'm really tired of everyone telling me what THEY want me to do. It's not their decision, it's MINE. Heck, I could go into rehab and come out in three months, get a place to live and get a job and relapse in a month.

However, if I stayed clean under all this pressure in the real world (where I have to come back to eventually) wouldn't that prove me stronger? I think so.

Everyone wants to stick me in this protective bubble and it's not realistic. They have their ideas and their preconcieved notions and I think they are dead wrong.

I'm going to stay clean even if my butt falls off. Period.

I really don't have any advice except what I have offered before but I will say that I admire and respect your determination and strength. You are healed and I agree with you with a hearty Amen! I'll be praying for you.

 

[PrairieGurl]

Here's the deal. I went to my pdoc and he said he'd take me off Wellbutrin by cutting it in half and then stopping in a week. Then he's going to taper off my mood stabilizers.

I think going off my meds is not a good idea.

My boyfriend and his family and my mom are convinced that I cannot stay clean on my own.

But guess what? I've been in treatment three times and I've always come out and used again.

I BELIEVE I can stay clean because by His stripes I am healed.

I'm really tired of everyone telling me what THEY want me to do. It's not their decision, it's MINE. Heck, I could go into rehab and come out in three months, get a place to live and get a job and relapse in a month.

However, if I stayed clean under all this pressure in the real world (where I have to come back to eventually) wouldn't that prove me stronger? I think so.

Everyone wants to stick me in this protective bubble and it's not realistic. They have their ideas and their preconcieved notions and I think they are dead wrong.

I'm going to stay clean even if my butt falls off. Period.

Dear Loveiseverywhere,

Because I don't know where you are from...I was wondering...in treatment (where you live) do they "medically" detox you?

You definately have determination...and that in itself is a GREAT thing to have when fighting an addiction!

Continue to lean on the One who heals us by His stripes!
Here you will receive prayer and encouragment from others. Please continue to post so we can continue to encourage you, pray for you and "listen" to what you have to say.

Wendy

 

[loveiseverywhere]

Thanks everyone, you guys are awesome!

 

[loveiseverywhere]

Hi everyone. I have an update. I talked to the people at a halfway house and their willing to take me and allow me to be on my anti-depressants. I really think it's dangerous for me to go off them. Plus, I'd have to wait a month to go off them while my pdoc slowly weans me. My pdoc really didn't want to take me off at all.

I think my recovery has a better chance if I'm on my meds while clean and sober. If I'm clean and OFF my meds, something weird and or dangerous might happen.

What's worse is for the past ten years everyone in my family has told me NOT to go off my meds, that it would be dangerous. Now all of a sudden they think I can go off them? What gives? I'm very confused.

 

[rushingwind62]

Hi everyone. I have an update. I talked to the people at a halfway house and their willing to take me and allow me to be on my anti-depressants. I really think it's dangerous for me to go off them. Plus, I'd have to wait a month to go off them while my pdoc slowly weans me. My pdoc really didn't want to take me off at all.

I think my recovery has a better chance if I'm on my meds while clean and sober. If I'm clean and OFF my meds, something weird and or dangerous might happen.

What's worse is for the past ten years everyone in my family has told me NOT to go off my meds, that it would be dangerous. Now all of a sudden they think I can go off them? What gives? I'm very confused.

I am glad to hear they are taking you and allowing you to take your meds. It is vital we bp's stay on our meds. As for your family, I plain don't know. Obviously they know the importance of meds. It could be they are joy wanting to see you clean.

 

[PrairieGurl]

Good morning Loveiseverywhere!!!

Glad you found a place which will allow you to stay on your meds!

 

[walshclan]

Hallelujah!!

 

[GodsNikki]

Why wont the christian recovery place allow you to take your meds? If a person came in and had cancer would they tell them no meds? If the christian place is coming from the angle that the you are not trusting in God for your healing and you are relying on meds to do it ..is that not your decision to make..Faith is not something someone can make us have...I don't think any place is a good one if they dont allow you to take meds or allow the freedom to seek God on geting off your meds...Some poeple don't believe in mental illness as a real sickness...such as cancer...The lack of knowledge that this place seems to have in the mental illness area would scare me and I would not want to put my life in there trust...Just my opinion....Seek God...first ...ask for His direction ..Allow yourself time to hear His vioce...Your family loves you and wants you well...They may be frustrated and talking out of frustration..Only God can help you make this vital decision in" YOUR" life..Thank your family for the support and get into your prayer closet and allow God to walk you through this ..Let his word be a lamp unto your feet and light unto your path...God Bless..My prayers are with you ...Nikki

 

[loveiseverywhere]

Godsnikki-

I was thinking the same thing- that if they didn't understand mental illness then I couldn't trust them and yes, I was too scared to go there so luckily they gave me an out when they called and said they wouldn't accept me because of my legal issues. Plus my pdoc didn't want to let me off my meds either.

For all I know these could be people whose philosophy is one like those parents who don't bring their children to the ER when they are injured. That's just too much for me.