Biblical reasons for divorce, is deception a valid reason ?

[stanleyhokp]

So I wonder why doesn't God allow divorce when there is clear deception or lying ? I mean Jacob was deceived, he wasn't allowed to divorce Leah, in my opinion deception and lying should be a valid reason for divorce. If people know that deception is a valid reason for divorce, they would not lie or deceive and be honest from the beginning because they know sooner or later they will be divorced if the lie or deception is discovered.

22So Laban invited everyone in the neighborhood and prepared a wedding feast. 23But that night, when it was dark, Laban took Leah to Jacob, and he slept with her. 24(Laban had given Leah a servant, Zilpah, to be her maid.)
25But when Jacob woke up in the morning—it was Leah! “What have you done to me?” Jacob raged at Laban. “I worked seven years for Rachel! Why have you tricked me?”

 

[Sketcher]

So I wonder why doesn't God allow divorce when there is clear deception or lying ? I mean Jacob was deceived, he wasn't allowed to divorce Leah, in my opinion deception and lying should be a valid reason for divorce. If people know that deception is a valid reason for divorce, they would not lie or deceive and be honest from the beginning because they know sooner or later they will be divorced if the lie or deception is discovered.

Is that why no one ever commits full-on adultery?

 

[stanleyhokp]

I wonder the laws of a country, I assume adultery and physical abuse are usually valid reasons to file for a divorce, I wonder if deception is a valid reason in the law ?

 

[PeterDona]

And yet - Leah was Jacob's first wife, his wife of covenant. Jacob was buried with Leah, rather than Rachel (!)

I believe the Catholic Church has decided that deception makes a marriage invalid. See this reference
https://stmarys-waco.org/documents/Grounds for Marriage Annulment in the Catholic Church.pdf

 

[PeterDona]

or should I say, there are people, in the marriage permanence orientation, who consider that Leah was Jacobs wife of covenant

 

[stanleyhokp]

And yet - Leah was Jacob's first wife, his wife of covenant. Jacob was buried with Leah, rather than Rachel (!)

I believe the Catholic Church has decided that deception makes a marriage invalid. See this reference
https://stmarys-waco.org/documents/Grounds for Marriage Annulment in the Catholic Church.pdf

The only reason I guess Jacob stayed with Leah is because Jacob wanted Rachel, the deal was to stayed married with Leah. Then again why did Jacob make children with Leah ? guess it was for pratical reasons, not out of love I suppose, because agricultural society, you needed sons to help you.

25But when Jacob woke up in the morning—it was Leah! “What have you done to me?” Jacob raged at Laban. “I worked seven years for Rachel! Why have you tricked me?”

26“It’s not our custom here to marry off a younger daughter ahead of the firstborn,” Laban replied. 27“But wait until the bridal week is over; then we’ll give you Rachel, too—provided you promise to work another seven years for me.”

28So Jacob agreed to work seven more years. A week after Jacob had married Leah, Laban gave him Rachel, too. 29(Laban gave Rachel a servant, Bilhah, to be her maid.) 30So Jacob slept with Rachel, too, and he loved her much more than Leah. He then stayed and worked for Laban the additional seven years.

 

[The Narrow Way]

So I wonder why doesn't God allow divorce when there is clear deception or lying ? I mean Jacob was deceived, he wasn't allowed to divorce Leah, in my opinion deception and lying should be a valid reason for divorce. If people know that deception is a valid reason for divorce, they would not lie or deceive and be honest from the beginning because they know sooner or later they will be divorced if the lie or deception is discovered.

22So Laban invited everyone in the neighborhood and prepared a wedding feast. 23But that night, when it was dark, Laban took Leah to Jacob, and he slept with her. 24(Laban had given Leah a servant, Zilpah, to be her maid.)
25But when Jacob woke up in the morning—it was Leah! “What have you done to me?” Jacob raged at Laban. “I worked seven years for Rachel! Why have you tricked me?”

I don't believe it would have been wrong for Jacob to divorce Leah the next morning at all.

 

[stanleyhokp]

I don't believe it would have been wrong for Jacob to divorce Leah the next morning at all.

Yes logical thing to do, but is it biblical ? I am not so sure, some say valid reason for divorce according to bible is adultery and physical abuse. The reason Jacob stayed married with Leah, I am not sure if it was because of biblical reasons or was it part of the deal to get Rachel, to get Rachel he had to respect Leah's father Laban wishes to stay married to Leah.

 

[The Narrow Way]

Yes logical thing to do, but is it biblical ? I am not so sure, some say valid reason for divorce according to bible is adultery and physical abuse. The reason Jacob stayed married with Leah, I am not sure if it was because of biblical reasons or was it part of the deal to get Rachel, to get Rachel he had to respect Leah's father Laban wishes to stay married to Leah.

Yes, I'm pretty sure he saw staying married to Leah was the only way he would get to marry Rachel....and Leah had some sort of an eye problem and was not very attractive....so Laban was anxious to marry her off FIRST, so as not to be "stuck" with her. But I believe if Jacob would have given Leah back to Laban the next morning, that God would have blessed him for it. It was wrong for him to take TWO wives.

 

[stanleyhokp]

Yes, I'm pretty sure he saw staying married to Leah was the only way he would get to marry Rachel....and Leah had some sort of an eye problem and was not very attractive....so Laban was anxious to marry her off FIRST, so as not to be "stuck" with her. But I believe if Jacob would have given Leah back to Laban the next morning, that God would have blessed him for it. It was wrong for him to take TWO wives.

So deception is a valid biblical reason for divorce ? So if some woman or man lied about something important before marriage and after marriage they found out, it is a valid biblical reason to file for divorce ?

 

[honestal]

I can't say I've ever found the answer to it in the Bible--but I don't believe I could have stayed married to Leah.

ONE THING IS FOR CERTAIN--TWO WIVES IS UNBIBLICAL!!!

To me, just because Jacob slept with her through deceit, doesn't automatically make her his wife.

He loved Rachel. He worked 7 years for her and was fully entitled to her.

I don't think he should have went along with Laban's treachery and Leah's deception.

A very sad story indeed--with the sadness lasting many, many years.

 

[The Narrow Way]

I supposed it would depend on what the lie was. Supposed the man or woman lied that they had NOT been married before, and then you find out they had been married. That would be pretty easy for me!

 

[stanleyhokp]

But thing is, the story was before Moses time, so before the 10 commandments was officially received from God, I dont know for sure, maybe marriage to many woman wasn't so a serious issue before Moses laws.

 

[The Narrow Way]

But thing is, the story was before Moses time, so before the 10 commandments was officially received from God, I dont know for sure, maybe marriage to many woman wasn't so a serious issue before Moses laws.

No, I think just as God gave Adam a WOMAN, so He also only gave him ONE WOMAN....that was the example God set for ALL TIME.

 

[stanleyhokp]

Or maybe Jacob got what he deserved, I mean he deceived Esau from his first birth right, didnt he ? Karma maybe, you deceive then you get deceived, again just some ideas.

 

[stanleyhokp]

I supposed it would depend on what the lie was. Supposed the man or woman lied that they had NOT been married before, and then you find out they had been married. That would be pretty easy for me!

Yes this would be valid reason, because this is adultery and deception. It is adultery when a divorced woman marries another man, if you follow the rules exactly to the dots. But to determine what kind of deception is valid for divorce, guess is sometimes very hard to determine.

 

[honestal]

So deception is a valid biblical reason for divorce ? So if some woman or man lied about something important before marriage and after marriage they found out, it is a valid biblical reason to file for divorce ?

I think this opens up a very difficult can of worms. (Or a dangerous slippery slope.)

As I said in my first post--I don't think Jacob should have kept Leah. (Personally, I wouldn't have considered it a valid marriage.)

At the same time--I certainly don't think that one can divorce their mate for any old lie.

And I certainly don't know where to draw the line. (I'm glad I'm not the judge.)

 

[The Narrow Way]

Or maybe Jacob got what he deserved, I mean he deceived Esau from his first birth right, didnt he ? Karma maybe, you deceive then you get deceived, again just some ideas.

He did use deception...and it was wrong....but it was much different than what Laban did. Jacob knew that he was the one that was supposed to receive the birthright...remember where the Bible tells us that the older will serve the younger, or something like that? He didn't want to take his mothers advice and deceive but she finally convinced him it was the thing to do... He paid for that sin dearly....his mother died before he came back home. But the point is, Jacob was trying to bring about what God had said should happen....that the older would serve the younger... It wasn't because Jacob was SELFISH....but Laban was selfish...he didn't want to get stuck with Leah...his motives were anything but good.

 

[stanleyhokp]

And I certainly don't know where to draw the line. (I'm glad I'm not the judge.)

Yes for example what if she lied about her sexual past, she had 30 men but she lied to have only one for example.

 

[honestal]

Yes for example what if she lied about her sexual past, she had 30 men but she lied to have only one for example.

For me, even that's a hard one.

The important thing to me in that one is--has she turned from that kind of lifestyle and will no longer live like that.

At the same time--I can understand, and accept, that many people would believe that that's a lie worthy of divorcing over.