- Nov 29, 2018
- 4
- 4
- 32
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Baptist
- Marital Status
- Married
There is a girl that I have been friends with since middle school (13 years now) but recently I've been thinking that this is someone that I don't want to be hanging out with any more.
Two years ago she met and fell in love with this guy that I didn't approve of and I could tell this wasn't going to end well. They ended up getting married and it only got worse. He kept chasing off all her friends but I knew I had to stick around so she'd hace someone when it all blew up. She finallu left him with my assistance because he had been extremely abusive. That's when it all started getting worse for me.
She had been a huge bride-zilla but I trumped that up to stress and her mom being so high strung about the wedding. I was the matron of honor so I just smiled and waved and figured it would go back to normal soon. But soon after the seperation she stopped going to church; blaming God for letting her marry some guy she met at church who turned out to be a fraud. Amd she turned into an alcoholic. Anytime she got in a fight with her family or an anniversary came around or the courts didn't do something exactly the ways ahe wanted she would go get completely wasted, drive home drunk, and brag to me abput how many drinks she'd had. I wamtes to stick around amd help minister her theough this. Thinking maybe this is why God put me here cause she at least always talks to me.
But then things just started getting toxic. It started with her saying one day "maybe I should stop going after the guys that are really hot. That seems to have worked out for you and *insert other married friend*. Ouch.
I tried to get her to do a bible study with me on waiting seasons. We would discuss that yes, she's waiting for the right guy to come along. But when we got to me waiting for the right time to have a child she would turn the problem back on her. "At least you're gonna have children. I'm never going to have kids because I'm never gonna find anyone." She would even randomly bring up me getting pregnant and then circle back to the aforementioned complaint.
A friend of ours is getting married so,the topic of weddings comes up on conversation. And whenever I talk about mine she has to point out everything she thought was wrong about mine. "I think first look pictures are stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Did you hear me? Stupid." As she's leaning into my face saying this.
I have her over to my house until 9 every Tuesday for dinner and hanging out. I work early on Wednesdays so I lile to go to bed around 9:30 or 10. And almost every Tuesday i have to ask her to leave. Sometimes even multiple times. I know it wasn't nice but one time I evem put her purse on the porch because she was refusing to leave saying it was too early.
And she's even taken to calling me the fat one now. And ok, so I'm not as skinny as I was in college but I'm healthy and ok with it. And honestly its a pull the plank out of your own eye scenario.
So I know I need out but don't really know what to say to her. I know I need tk write a letter because if I do it in person its just gonna end very badly. But I don't know what to say. My mom is saying I should be general; say she's been disrepectful and I'm done and that's it. I want to go into a bit more detail so she understands why I'm doing this but I dont want to come off like a list of charges. Any thoughts?
Two years ago she met and fell in love with this guy that I didn't approve of and I could tell this wasn't going to end well. They ended up getting married and it only got worse. He kept chasing off all her friends but I knew I had to stick around so she'd hace someone when it all blew up. She finallu left him with my assistance because he had been extremely abusive. That's when it all started getting worse for me.
She had been a huge bride-zilla but I trumped that up to stress and her mom being so high strung about the wedding. I was the matron of honor so I just smiled and waved and figured it would go back to normal soon. But soon after the seperation she stopped going to church; blaming God for letting her marry some guy she met at church who turned out to be a fraud. Amd she turned into an alcoholic. Anytime she got in a fight with her family or an anniversary came around or the courts didn't do something exactly the ways ahe wanted she would go get completely wasted, drive home drunk, and brag to me abput how many drinks she'd had. I wamtes to stick around amd help minister her theough this. Thinking maybe this is why God put me here cause she at least always talks to me.
But then things just started getting toxic. It started with her saying one day "maybe I should stop going after the guys that are really hot. That seems to have worked out for you and *insert other married friend*. Ouch.
I tried to get her to do a bible study with me on waiting seasons. We would discuss that yes, she's waiting for the right guy to come along. But when we got to me waiting for the right time to have a child she would turn the problem back on her. "At least you're gonna have children. I'm never going to have kids because I'm never gonna find anyone." She would even randomly bring up me getting pregnant and then circle back to the aforementioned complaint.
A friend of ours is getting married so,the topic of weddings comes up on conversation. And whenever I talk about mine she has to point out everything she thought was wrong about mine. "I think first look pictures are stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Did you hear me? Stupid." As she's leaning into my face saying this.
I have her over to my house until 9 every Tuesday for dinner and hanging out. I work early on Wednesdays so I lile to go to bed around 9:30 or 10. And almost every Tuesday i have to ask her to leave. Sometimes even multiple times. I know it wasn't nice but one time I evem put her purse on the porch because she was refusing to leave saying it was too early.
And she's even taken to calling me the fat one now. And ok, so I'm not as skinny as I was in college but I'm healthy and ok with it. And honestly its a pull the plank out of your own eye scenario.
So I know I need out but don't really know what to say to her. I know I need tk write a letter because if I do it in person its just gonna end very badly. But I don't know what to say. My mom is saying I should be general; say she's been disrepectful and I'm done and that's it. I want to go into a bit more detail so she understands why I'm doing this but I dont want to come off like a list of charges. Any thoughts?