Best Friend, Parent or both?

[LegacyOfLove]

Just a question as I am curious to see where all of you feel your relationship is between yourself and your children. Do you feel that you are only the parent-figure? Do you feel that you and your child(ren) are best friends? Or have you managed to balance being both parent and friend with your kids? And if so...how?

I would like a little insight too, if you don't mind. Example: If you are primarily just the "parent-figure" do you think this works best in your situation and why?

I thought this might give us all some insight not only into ourselves, but into understanding one another's parenting styles as well! Thank you in advance to all who respond!

 

[karla]

My children are still young (4 and 2) My daughter often refers to me as her best friend (I have it on video tape for when she is 16 and hating me for not lettign her date soem boy ) I feel like I am and will continue to be my children's parent. That's not to say that you can't be friendly with them, but I don't think that it is a good idea to be your child's best friend. There time to become friends later in life when they are adults. The way I see it is that my role is the protector of my child, their guide in life, and they need to look me with respect and love and trust that I will give them the answer they need not the one they want to hear. That's how it was for me growing up. My mom was friednly to me, but not my friend. I respected and valued her opinion because she was my mom and I knew that I couldn't treat her like a friend. Now that we are both adults, we have taken on more of a friendship role with one another. It's too hard to parent and be a friend. As a parent you need to sometimes be the bad guy and that isn't usually the role that a friend takes on. Hope I made sense.

 

[sara elizabeth]

My kids are still pretty young, too. (The oldest is almost 8) I try to be a friend to my children by playing with them, laughing at their silly jokes, and really listening when they have something to tell me. At the same time, I feel like it is very important to still be the parent. I don't think I want to be my child's best friend, though. That seems a little out of wack to me.

 

[Jenna]

I am my daughter's best friend, or so she says. She's only 3 years old, so there are also times when she says she doesn't like me very much. lol I enjoy being her friend. We play together, and share many wonderful experiences. However, I am still very much responsible for her upbringing, so she doesn't get by with things just because we enjoy each other so much.

 

[mamaneenie]

Well my 3yo tells me to come and play with him because we're friends. It's really sweet.

I still see myself as responsible for his upbringing especially since he's so little still. However, there has to be a balance, he is around me all the time so it's only natural that he wants to be my friend.

 

[bliz]

Parents are to be parents.

Good parenting involves elements of friendship, coaching, teaching, drill instructor, task master, confident... and so much more!

But that does not mean that I should be any of the obove for my children instead of beng a parent. By being a "best friend" to my child I rob my child of the opportunity to make and develop their own special close friendship with someone and I am abdicating my unique role as Mom... a role kids need in their lives long after they move out. By dong this, I am alse taking from myself the opportunity to have my very own best friend in addition to having a loving relationship with my child.

Further, if I, parent, am best friend, I am usurping a role that in many ways belong to a future spouse.

Lastly, I don't thik that is anything "just" about being a parent, as in "I'm just a parent." A parent is a huge and wonderful role that changes and evolves as children grow and mature.