being married young...

Valpal1123 said:

I think we need to have more support groups for young christian wives and christian husbands... Were people can really offer advice without judgement....

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Well, I in no way qualify as "young" after clocking in at over 60 ......

But I completely agree. IMO the church world has not taken seriously the sex drives and emotional needs of teens and young adults. Part of it is history. We don't understand that in NT times the average age of marriage in the Jewish world was 13-15. Is that problematic in this 21st century western culture? You bet. That means that some kind of support network needs to be established. Parents should be the first line but the congregations should help too.

The entire church world could use a good dose of discipleship, as practiced in first century Judea, adapted to modern life. (no small task) It would require a degree of openness and vulnerability we are unaccustomed to. But the church world, individual christians and marriages would be much more stable and strong if we did.

BTW - how old were you when you wed? I was 22 and my DW was 20.
We are coming up on our 40th anniversary this fall.

I TOTALLY agree. All the church teaches, teens, college age, singles is "to wait." They NEVER teach about sex inside the marriage and how each must "meet to needs of the other."

Consider 1 Corinthians Chapter 7:
"1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: "It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Women, if you don't want your husbands to get involved with porn or in flirting with other women, meet his sexual need.

Men, if you want your wife to meet your need, meet hers. Be her protector, her provider, her source of passion and romance.

If you don't think unmet sexual needs don't cause issues, you better read those verses again...

Valpal1123 said:

Yeah, there is no in-between for the younger group that teaches them how to date as christians and what to look out for and how put God as the center of your relationship! That isn't taught until after marriage.

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This is a HUGE disservice to young men and women getting married! Half of all marriages, Christian or not, end over sexual issues!

Wake up church and TEACH your members (no pun intended) LOL!

DarthNeo said:

Men, if you want your wife to meet your need, meet hers.

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That is not always the best answer. Some women have no need and believe you should not have any either.

DaveW-Ohev said:

That is not always the best answer. Some women have no need and believe you should not have any either.

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You meet your wife's needs outside of the bedroom so that she feels loved and wants to spend time in the bedroom with you. She needs to know you love her more than just when you are interested in bedroom play. She needs to know you value her as a person.

blackribbon said:

You meet your wife's needs outside of the bedroom so that she feels loved .... She needs to know you value her as a person.

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I have done that since day 1.

and wants to spend time in the bedroom with you.

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Ain't happening. She had so much negative sexual messages from her church and mother as a kid, and endured 4 years of severe sexual abuse as a grade schooler.

She does not want "time in the bedroom" with anyone ever. Giving her history - I understand that.