Being calm..

[Thankful4HIM]

My daughter is almost 13 months... Now I will say I don't drop everything I'm doing every time she whines.. maybe I should? But, She'll be good maybe 20 minutes after she gets up.. then, throughout the day, she'll just start whining, screaming, pouting, throwing temper tantrums... I talked to her pediatrician and he didn't say much... but I get EXTREMELY frustrated... toooooo frustrated ok.. I don't know what to do about it.. she likes me to hold her 24/7.. I kinda need maybe some suggestions if anyone has any... I don't like how I react, it really is disappointing..
I wasn't raised in a good setting, so no I didn't have positive child rearing built in.
If you have no advice, please just pray for me. Thanks

 

[andiesmama]

13 months is old enough for her to start entertaining herself....altho you can't expect her attention span to last very long at this young age....

If she needs to be around you, have stuff for her to do in whatever room you're in....if you're folding laundry, give her a pile to "help"....if you're cooking in the kitchen, give her some tupperware & spoons to bang around with....if you're gardening, let her dig in the dirt with you!

If she's clingy, whiny, etc....pick her up, give her a little love, then put her back down, reassuring her that mommy is here & you'll be able to play with her in a few minutes....then do your own thing BUT be sure to get down on her level in 5 or 10 minutes to play with her.

I know it's annoying & frustrating (whining is one of my pet peeves....), but hang in there!!

 

[Leanna]

She sounds bored mainly, maybe you should start making playdates and taking her to do specific activities. 20 minutes is a long time for her to entertain herself, so she's doing good that way. If she's still not too heavy for you you could sling her on your back so she could watch you do chores too, that's entertaining. You can also have her "help" carry things here or there, even young toddlers love to help.

 

[JulySheMustFly]

You've gotten good advice so far. My son is 14 months and does the same thing. Somedays I put him in the sling and just do what I need to do with the exception of cooking. Sometimes he doesn't really want to be held but just be at the same level that I'm working. So, I'll sit him on the counter and he plays with the dishtowel while I rinse dishes. He sits on the dryer while I load the washing machine. He likes to be a part of what I'm doing. Something I also needed to remember was the dishes will still be there if I take 5 minutes to play blocks but he won't be one for very long.

 

[RoseofLima]

See now...as a mom of 4 (and one on the way) I would tell you that 13 months is a time of serious hardcore separation anxiety. With each of my children before they really advanced in walking with confidence....they had about a two-three month long period where they were super clingy. It's like they pull back to 'rest', before venturing forward with courage.

I chose to meet that need as best I could--usully with a sling- or having them with me in the house wherever I was working- with little things to keep them occupied. For example- if I was doing dishes, I might give them some ziploc containers and lids, or measuring spoons. If I was doing laudry I'd give them a few washrags or something out of the laundry and an extra laundry basket to put tem in and out of.

My children have all been more or less on me (in a sling or backpack) until about 14-16 months--when that super cling stage is over. They are all very independent and don't whine at all...so it seems to have worked for us.

Mostly just remember to take it one day at a time, cut yourself a whole lot of slack, be good to yourself...you've got the most demanding job in the whole world! But luckily one where everyday doesn't count so much as the overall whole of the job we've done!

Hang in there!

 

[Thankful4HIM]

Yeah, she has super stranger anxiety, and she's always with me... she'll venture off and play in some other rooms, I do have her own drawer in the kitchen for her dishes, I've never really let her help with laundry, i'll try that too.. she is helpful well tries lol when she sees me doing things! I do need to try and be on her level more though, I probably don't play with her as much as I should... Never being played with as I grew up, I am a pretty serious person at times, and have never much been into the "playing"... so I definitely should try that more... thanks for the encouragement ladies! Oh and the sling thing, It always hurt my shoulders so I don't use that... = )

 

[RoseofLima]

I am horrible at playing, too (my mom is great at it...I just keep seeing what a mess it will be to clean up)...I've always been waiting for mine to get big enough to play football with

But even just laying on the floor and letting them climb all over you...seems to work for most toddlers! (Which is good because most moms of toddlers are so worn out -about all they can muster is laying on the floor )

 

[Linnis]

She needs more to do, maybe even things for her in every room you are in so she can learn she can play by herself even while she's in the room with you.

I agree with andiemama, reassure her she's fine but allow her to play without you in between periods of attention.

You don't even have to play, working her mind is great too. Talking to her like "Wow, you have the red ball, the blue car and the pink doll." etc While most think I'm crazy, I did this with the boy I watch and one day, all those things clicked and he began talking about the red ball, black cat etc Mentel stimulation works wonders.

 

[bliz]

Keep in mind that she NEEDS your time and attention and closeness with you just like she needs food and water. YOu would never deny her the other two - don't deny her the physical closeness she needs.

Buy a backpack if you don't have one - using one was often the only way I got any chores done and the only way I got a break from holding a kid all the time.

 

[giddybiscuit]

Oh and the sling thing, It always hurt my shoulders so I don't use that... = )

Have you tried various types? There are so many available, and some people find they need to experiment with different kinds before they find one that suits their needs.

My baby is nearly 10 months old and weighs 27 lbs. She loves to be carried; sometimes I feel like I carry her all day long. We couldn't make it without a sling!

 

[Thankful4HIM]

Have you tried various types? There are so many available, and some people find they need to experiment with different kinds before they find one that suits their needs.

My baby is nearly 10 months old and weighs 27 lbs. She loves to be carried; sometimes I feel like I carry her all day long. We couldn't make it without a sling!

No, I haven't.. you can still carry kids in those things when their over 1?

 

[Picture.Of.Obedience]

the new sling i just got is up to 35 pounds. i carry trevor in it and this one doesnt hurt my back or shoulders at all. my other one did. i do agree you have to try different kinds to see which works for you.

 

[Neenie1]

I'm not big on slings either. I did use a front "pouch" type carrier when my daughter was a newborn, but gave it up pretty quickly when I found out she had problems with her hips and legs (not necessarily caused by the pouch because I only used it for short periods when I had to catch buses etc. and never more than twice a week.

I have 2 children. My youngest is 12 months and occasionally does this kind of thing you are talking about. It's normally boredom. (after I have ruled out hunger, dirty nappy, tiredness) I normally just try to finish up whatever task it is I am doing and just sit down and play with her.

The thing is that they are babies for such a short time and the housework will always be there. Even after the kids leave home there is always going to be housework to do (there'll be less of it but it will still be there lol)

Often I just put her in the pram and take her for a walk, (with my 4 year old of course) sometimes a change of scene and a bit of fresh air is all it takes.

 

[giddybiscuit]

No, I haven't.. you can still carry kids in those things when their over 1?

You certainly can! Many of them are designed to be used up to 35 lbs. There are lots of options...slings of various types, as well as other kinds of carriers.

 

[Mayzoo]

I sent you a PM and I am very serious about my offer. Think it over.

Mayzoo