Being a Christian is hard

[MyLordMySavior]

Sorry for it being long...
It's hard. God obviously doesn't want us to sin. I don't want me to sin! But I do. Over and over and over and over and over again.

I feel like I just don't know if I am doing stuff right. Whenever, I am about to watch something, listen to, or see something I ask myself, "Would God want me to see this?" Like for example, movies. I have seen so many movies, like most people, and I suddenly don't watch scary movies anymore. I enjoy scary movies, but I know if Jesus was sitting next to me He wouldn't like it so I feel bad and don't watch them. Comedies too, like dirty jokes and stuff. I don't watch Family Guy anymore, which used to be my favorite comedy, so it was hard because a side of me wants to watch it so bad, but I don't want to upset or disappoint God so I don't. I only listen to Christian music, which isn't bad, I don't really enjoy listening to anything else, but if I start singing a song suddenly out loud that I've known like, "Love in an elevator" then I will feel bad because I know God wouldn't sing a song like that. Now I don't know if I should play video games like COD or this other one, Tomb Raider, which I got. The characters kills evil people in it so I feel bad... It is such a big change from
what I've been used to all my life and the temptation is hard... D: I haven't watched a scary movie in like 2 MONTHS! It might seem silly, but it is hard to say no when you are asked to go see Dark Skies or something. I know it's all fake but God wouldn't want me to watch it


Also, another thing. I can't stop sinning. Not in one particular area, just several. Like, for one, I still yell at my brothers and sisters and will say like, "Your dumb." Or something. I am usually joking but will be like, "God wouldn't want me to say that." And a while back, I WILLINGFULLY LIED!! I was absent for high school one day and if I didn't have a valid excuse I couldn't be exempt for exams. I stayed home to finish my project, but that wouldn't be accepted. So, I said I had an orthodontist appt. It was a complete lie and on my way to check in I was praying, "God I'm sorry, so sorry, I'm so sorry God!" But I did it so my absence would be excused. I hate doing that to God, and try not to, but I'm slipping. It's like I am trying so hard that it is almost like I am giving up. Today, I played my video game(not sure if it is a sin) AND I watched a movie with Will Ferrel called Bewitched. (a comedy about a witch, Samantha, falling in love.) I knew it was about a Witch!

Then, I watched Tombstone and it had Cowboys shooting in it and some people died and I was afraid that God wouldn't want me watching it but I watched it anyways!!!!!!!! I feel bad watching youtube videos with swear words in it. It is getting so flipping hard! I don't cuss, don't date, try not to lie(apart from the time I WILLING FULLY LIED), I try not to gossip, control my anger, be perfect basically. I CAN'T DO IT! I CAN'T!!!


I don't know how Jesus did it all! It's SOOO HARD! I'm like giving up. I ask God to forgive me every night for the sins I commit that day, then I'll commit sins the next day. I'll end the day thinking, "Hmm, did I sin alot or a little today?" And I will feel bad if I did alot and the next day I still sin sometime during the day. It is impossible, I can't do it anymore. I feel sprirtually drained. I try so hard to please God, go to Church every Sun and Wed read 3 chapters of the Old Testament, 1 Devotional, and 1-2 maybe 3 New Testament Chapters every night, except for Sunday where I don't read an Old Testament Chapter. (A catch up on your reading day). Ugh, what I hate too is when I fall asleep praying to God!!!!




Every night, before every meal, and through out the day I pray to God but at night when I am praying sometimes my mind will drift and I will fall asleep then wake up and go, "Oh, crap I feel asleep praying." I feel terrible.


I want to be good for God, it is so hard to be like this just for a week, how can I do this my entire life? Oh, God help me, I can't. I can't imagine doing this my entire life. It is so hard. AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF. The cherry on top, is I have these TERRIBLE. DISGUSTING. THE WORST. Thoughts about Jesus you CAN IMAGINE. Oh goodness, IT IS SO TERRIBLE I CANNOT EVEN EXPLAIN. I have CRIED to God to take them away, begged, and they are still there. Goodness, I cannot even face Jesus when I die because I cannot FACE HIM knowing that He knows THE FILTHY THINGS THAT I THOUGHT!!! I wish they'd go away but it has been going on for exactly 10 months now. Oh, everytime they attack I want to bang my head against the wall and hit my head, I want them OUT!!! I pray and they are still there. Don't know why God won't get rid of them, so I'm just going to have to trust Him. This is hard guys, I am so overwhelmed right now. School is stressing me out too, trying to keep straight A's and be perfect, it is just too hard. I forget to do things sometimes (like pray at lunch) and I ask God for forgiveness and feel guilty. Just so much guilt and shame...I feel like I have repented so much... who knows how many times I can become a new creation because I keep becoming new then going straight back to old by doing another sin.














I just went back and read it again. Going to Chruch 2 days a week, reading the Bible everynight, you know what I just realized?

It's not enough. ITS NOT FLIPPING ENOUGH. I should be IN MY ROOM RIGHT NOW reading the Bible from morning to Dark, praying every flipping second, and thinking of God all day!! I should be going to Chruch Sun, Mon, Wed, and Sat. I should instead of going to Church at 11, go to Chruch at 9:30 too. I should go feed homeless ppl in my city on a regular basis, I should STOP ASKING MY PARENTS FOR THINGS like DUMB video game! I should be off this computer and in my room PRAYING and begging God to just take me away. Oh my, this is all so much. I can't. I am going to go into a depression. I should be so happy, but I am not. why am I so tired? I literally come home from school everyday and end up sleeping on the couch for 2 hours after school, sometimes more, because I am soo flipping tired. Lord have mercy on my soul. I am a failure, and I can't do this. I want to be able to be in Heaven and make you proud, I want to dwell in your presence, I want to do GREAT things for YOU BUT I CANT. I can't. I. Just. Cant. I keep failing you over and over, and I can't. I'm so sorry. You can't use me, I'm too dirty with sin. And I tell you I'll do better but don't. I still do it, I strive to be perfect but can't. Ill never be good enough for you, im sorry. I should be thrown in Hell because I can't keep sinning when I tell you i'll stop. You died for me because of my wretched ways and here I am still sinning. It's disgusting. I disgusts myself. How dare I do this to HIM!!!!


"Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him."

I would like to think Jesus is all I want. He is, I love Him miserably, even though I don't deserve to. I fail and fail again. I can't keep them! I keep failing, does this mean I do not love Him? Oh, God I am sorry if this means I don't!

"If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commands and remain in his love."

Do I not remain in His love? Oh. how I wish I did. I can't keep the commandments like Jesus. I still have attitudes with my parents, still fail.

 

[BFine]

Trying to keep extremely short accounts with the Lord, this
brings on disappoints, discouragement and depression.
Your religion becomes a task of keeping all these rules.

You live a surrendered life to our Lord and Savior, you rest in
the saving grace that Christ bestows on us who have been redeemed.

When you start analyzing every little thing you do it will effect your
thinking-- it becomes obsessive and if you keep at it you will be tied
up with OCD.

Jesus instructed us to "Follow Him", are you following Him?
Are you resting in His completed work?
Are you enjoying the new life in Him?

 

[The Fire Rises]

Hosea 6:6: "I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices. I want you to know me more than I want burnt offerings"
God isn't interested in your sacrifices such as giving up (insert TV show) or going to church "x" number of days. He wants your love.

From what I read, it sounds like you are trying to "appease" God.

Understand that salvation is not a prize to be earned, but rather a gift to be recieved. None of us are good enough, and none of ever will be, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23).

Don't worry or feel bad, this is probably the most common mistake Christians make - thinking that they have to EARN Jesus. It's simply not true, although Satan would love you to believe otherwise.

Trust me when I say this - you will never be strong enough to resist sin on your own. I was a slave to sin. Everyday I tried, everyday I failed. I was an emotional, mental and spiritual wreck, I was tired of living in a pit of sin and filth. Jesus offered me a way out, and I took it. Notice that all I did was accept His offer, it wasn't by my power that I began to change and resist sin. It wasn't by my power that I defeated several addictions. It was all Him.

Finally, I will say this much: being a Christian is supposed to be hard. If it's not at least somewhat difficult for us at some point, we're doing something wrong. Think about it, everything Christ calls us to do and be is the exact opposite of our sinful nature. Simply put, being a Christian isn't natural for us, which is why it's impossible to do it on our own.

This sounds crazy, but rejoice in your struggles and trials. Without hardship, we would never have spiritual growth. I think God has clearly given you a heart that longs to serve Him, perhaps the greatest gift He can give anyone. Don't worry about your struggles, because they are a natural part of maturing in Christ.

Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. (Pslams 126: 5)

If you ever want to talk about this, or anything, I'd love to. Just message me anytime : )

Blessings sister

 

[MyLordMySavior]

Trying to keep extremely short accounts with the Lord, this
brings on disappoints, discouragement and depression.
Your religion becomes a task of keeping all these rules.

You live a surrendered life to our Lord and Savior, you rest in
the saving grace that Christ bestows on us who have been redeemed.

When you start analyzing every little thing you do it will effect your
thinking-- it becomes obsessive and if you keep at it you will be tied
up with OCD.

Jesus instructed us to "Follow Him", are you following Him?
Are you resting in His completed work?
Are you enjoying the new life in Him?

Rest in saving grace? How do I do that if I still sin?
Following him?! IM TRYING TO!!! But I keep failing! Didnt you read my message and see that I'm TRYING TO!
Resting in complete work? I don't understand! I still can't keep sinning! Even if it is complete I still can't keep sinning its not fair to Him!
I'm trying to. I just want to know that Ill be able to hug and tell God how much I love Him when I die I just want to know I can be with Him forever. But how is that possible if I keep sinning and having these terrible thoughts.

 

[madetoworship]

"18 I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”’ 20 And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’[c] 22 But the father said to his servants,[d] ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. 23 And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. 24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate." Luke 15:18 -24


Father God is waiting with arms open wide for those who repent. You are welcome home.

God has given you a new heart. Listen to the voice of the Spirit telling you to flee from sin and temptation and give in to the Spirit.

"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." Mathew 26:41

 

[BFine]

We all still sin, not just you.

Apostle Paul said it right here in Romans Chapter 7:
19 I want to do what is good, but I don't. I don't want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.
20 Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.

21 I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.

22 For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:

23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.

24 O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?

25 I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord.
So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.

You are not the only Christian who has beaten themselves up over this.

As long as we are in these suits of flesh we will wrestle with sin.
There's not one Christian who is completely sin free...except for Christ.
Apostle Paul, Peter, King David, Moses, etc...they are all believers but
they too continue to battle this ol' flesh up until they died.

 

[coons786c]

I agree its hard to be a christian if your mind is not made up to live for Jesus. But if you are truely saved, and want to serve him with your whole heart, it is easy because you walk with him and do things that please him.

Being a christian takes being totally sold out for Jesus.

Again there is a diffrence between living in sin and stumbling and falling in sin. People say well we still sin, I say disagree. Jesus said be perfect even as your father in heaven is perfect. This means we will still sometimes sin where it does not rule in our mortal bodies and his blood cleanse us from sin. But if you habitually sin you need to overcome it. I posted info on here about being victorious in Christ. I suggest you read it.

True Repentance is confessing that sin and forsaking it.

 

[BFine]

Grace is a gift from God (Ephesians 2:8). When we sin, the Spirit will convict us of sin such that a godly sorrow will result (2 Corinthians 7:10-11). He will not condemn our souls as if there is no hope, for there is no longer any condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). The Spirit’s conviction within us is a movement of love and grace. Grace is not an excuse to sin (Romans 6:1-2), and it dare not be abused, meaning that sin must be called “sin,” and it cannot be treated as if it is harmless or inoffensive. Unrepentant believers need to be lovingly confronted and guided to freedom, and unbelievers need to be told that they need to repent. Yet let us also emphasize the remedy, for we have been given grace upon grace (John 1:16). Grace is how we live, how we are saved, how we are sanctified, and how we will be kept and glorified. Let us receive grace when we sin by repenting and confessing our sin to God.

Read more: Will God continue to forgive you if you commit the same sin over and over again?

 

[tbogunro]

First you ALWAYS read scripture in its context. The verse you quote at the end is from John 15:10. Jesus says His commandment is to LOVE one another, also He says that we are the branches and He is the vine. So ask yourself this, what determines the health of the branch, the branch or the vine that produces the branches? Jesus is showing that HE is the one that enables you to produce fruit also ask yourself this, can a branch decide to talk of the vine, or does it take outside force to do it? God Himself in another verse says that those that are saved can't be taken away from Him. So your dependence on remaining in God's love isn't dependent on you, but the vine that holds you up. Jesus is basically saying that God His blessings, love, and righteousness is dependent on Him not you. So guess what? You're in God's love no matter what, whether you like it or not . Also now ask yourself this, how do I love others? Well once again on another verse God answers that question, by saying He is the one that gives you the desire and power to do what pleases Him and His love in you will be the love that enables you to truly love others. You see how God does ALL the work, on fact God has said we are under GRACE and anyone under GRACE has stopped working, meaning unlike in the old testament we're not working for God or His blessings and LOVE but rather stop working and let Him do EVERYTHING He as promised. Hope you begin to see how easy God has made it and the FREEDOM you have with Him.


Romans 11:16, 18 ESV

If the dough offered as firstfruits is holy, so is the whole lump, and if the root is holy, so are the branches. do not be arrogant toward the branches. If you are, remember it is not you who support the root, but the root that supports you.

Philippians 2:13 NLT

For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.


Romans 8:38-39 NLT

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.


John 10:27-30 NLT

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one can snatch them away from me, for my Father has given them to me, and he is more powerful than anyone else. No one can snatch them from the Father’s hand. The Father and I are one.”

 

[Thunder Peel]

All Christians sin. There's simply no getting around that: if you're on this earth you will sin, no matter how hard you try to avoid it. We all fall short of the glory of God, which is why we need Jesus so desperately. He's our only hope for salvation and living a new life.

First of all, don't drive yourself crazy analyzing every single thing you do. I've been there plenty of times before and I can safely say you will cripple yourself from doing anything for Christ that way. Yes, we need to avoid sin and try our best to live righteous lives, yet we will never be perfect and we will slip up whether we want to or not. It sounds like you're relying too hard on yourself and not enough on God to change you and show you the life He desires for you.

The fact that your sin bothers you should come as a relief. It means you're listening to the Holy Spirit and you desire to live a Godly life. If there's an area of sin that you're struggling with then pray and ask God to work on that area of your life. If necessary talk with your pastor or a Christian that you trust and ask them for their perspective.

Praying for you.

 

[Bella Vita]

Ya the lifestyle of a Christian is hard. Anyone who has read scripture knows this. We will be persecuted and we will be tempted by a world that we don't fit into.

But James tells us that these trials are what makes us stronger and what makes us lean on God more. If we never suffered we would never grow or learn. So ya suffering sucks but it is necessary. And persecution only makes me believe in my faith as truth that much more there is a reason that Christianity is the most persecuted religion in the world. It is illegal in 52 countries some punishable by death. Christianity is a threat to the devil and he will do anything to stop it. Love God build a relationship with him and be in your word the rest will follow. But don't give up hope because your not perfect that isn't realistic you have to try your best but effort is what God cares about. You are going to make mistakes but don't start fighting God cares about the fight in heart.

James 1:2-7
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

 

[paul1149]

I CAN'T DO IT! I CAN'T!!!

That's right, you can't. That what Paul said in Romans 7. It's good to try to walk right, but it very easily devolves to relying on our own strength rather than God's. And that turns out to be the very antithesis of what He is trying to accomplish in us, because it keeps us from the intimacy that our one-flesh covenant relationship with Him entitles us to.

Remember the basics: you came to Christ because you needed a Savior, not because you were so wonderful that you finally found someone on your level. If you came to Christ in a condition of utter helplessness, does it make sense that the dynamic would change and now your walk would be completely dependent on you?

No. We have a part to play, but it consists of entering our continuing sabbath rest in Christ, where we cease from our dead works, and abiding there. This is why Isaiah says that our righteousness is as filthy rags - not our sin, our righteousness. If we could have earned salvation then Christ died for nothing. We can't, and He didn't.

He paid it all. Of course we still battle with sin, but not in our own strength, and not legalistically. It's possible that some of the things you are remorseful about really aren't important. Certainly, none of them are important enough to allow to disturb your relationship with the Lord. Hebrews instructs us to go confidently to the throne of grace for help in time of need. Jesus died so that you no longer have to remain on the outside looking in. No matter how unworthy you are, the immeasurable worth of His precious Blood has paid the price for you. Run to Him, and accept His rest, and let your spirit revel in the truth that when you are in that place of confident dependency His power is perfected in your weakness.

 

[CoFrye]

WWJD- I'm sure you are familiar with the phrase, started back in the 90's said everyone was supposed to imagine what they were doing and then would Jesus do it. Well the problem with that is it places on us an un-realistic set of standards. While we are to attempt at our highest points to be as holy as Jesus, we must know that we can not be perfect. There was only one perfect being and it was Jesus. Understand that as a Christian saved by Grace that all we must do is confess our sins to be forgiven. I am not saying it is ok to sin, I am saying do not stress yourself to the point where you feel this way. IDK maybe I will be better able to explain when I am not rushed.

 

[TheyCallMeDave]

Sorry for it being long...
It's hard. God obviously doesn't want us to sin. I don't want me to sin! But I do. Over and over and over and over and over again.

I feel like I just don't know if I am doing stuff right. Whenever, I am about to watch something, listen to, or see something I ask myself, "Would God want me to see this?" Like for example, movies. I have seen so many movies, like most people, and I suddenly don't watch scary movies anymore. I enjoy scary movies, but I know if Jesus was sitting next to me He wouldn't like it so I feel bad and don't watch them. Comedies too, like dirty jokes and stuff. I don't watch Family Guy anymore, which used to be my favorite comedy, so it was hard because a side of me wants to watch it so bad, but I don't want to upset or disappoint God so I don't. I only listen to Christian music, which isn't bad, I don't really enjoy listening to anything else, but if I start singing a song suddenly out loud that I've known like, "Love in an elevator" then I will feel bad because I know God wouldn't sing a song like that. Now I don't know if I should play video games like COD or this other one, Tomb Raider, which I got. The characters kills evil people in it so I feel bad... It is such a big change from
what I've been used to all my life and the temptation is hard... D: I haven't watched a scary movie in like 2 MONTHS! It might seem silly, but it is hard to say no when you are asked to go see Dark Skies or something. I know it's all fake but God wouldn't want me to watch it


Also, another thing. I can't stop sinning. Not in one particular area, just several. Like, for one, I still yell at my brothers and sisters and will say like, "Your dumb." Or something. I am usually joking but will be like, "God wouldn't want me to say that." And a while back, I WILLINGFULLY LIED!! I was absent for high school one day and if I didn't have a valid excuse I couldn't be exempt for exams. I stayed home to finish my project, but that wouldn't be accepted. So, I said I had an orthodontist appt. It was a complete lie and on my way to check in I was praying, "God I'm sorry, so sorry, I'm so sorry God!" But I did it so my absence would be excused. I hate doing that to God, and try not to, but I'm slipping. It's like I am trying so hard that it is almost like I am giving up. Today, I played my video game(not sure if it is a sin) AND I watched a movie with Will Ferrel called Bewitched. (a comedy about a witch, Samantha, falling in love.) I knew it was about a Witch!

Then, I watched Tombstone and it had Cowboys shooting in it and some people died and I was afraid that God wouldn't want me watching it but I watched it anyways!!!!!!!! I feel bad watching youtube videos with swear words in it. It is getting so flipping hard! I don't cuss, don't date, try not to lie(apart from the time I WILLING FULLY LIED), I try not to gossip, control my anger, be perfect basically. I CAN'T DO IT! I CAN'T!!!


I don't know how Jesus did it all! It's SOOO HARD! I'm like giving up. I ask God to forgive me every night for the sins I commit that day, then I'll commit sins the next day. I'll end the day thinking, "Hmm, did I sin alot or a little today?" And I will feel bad if I did alot and the next day I still sin sometime during the day. It is impossible, I can't do it anymore. I feel sprirtually drained. I try so hard to please God, go to Church every Sun and Wed read 3 chapters of the Old Testament, 1 Devotional, and 1-2 maybe 3 New Testament Chapters every night, except for Sunday where I don't read an Old Testament Chapter. (A catch up on your reading day). Ugh, what I hate too is when I fall asleep praying to God!!!!




Every night, before every meal, and through out the day I pray to God but at night when I am praying sometimes my mind will drift and I will fall asleep then wake up and go, "Oh, crap I feel asleep praying." I feel terrible.


I want to be good for God, it is so hard to be like this just for a week, how can I do this my entire life? Oh, God help me, I can't. I can't imagine doing this my entire life. It is so hard. AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF. The cherry on top, is I have these TERRIBLE. DISGUSTING. THE WORST. Thoughts about Jesus you CAN IMAGINE. Oh goodness, IT IS SO TERRIBLE I CANNOT EVEN EXPLAIN. I have CRIED to God to take them away, begged, and they are still there. Goodness, I cannot even face Jesus when I die because I cannot FACE HIM knowing that He knows THE FILTHY THINGS THAT I THOUGHT!!! I wish they'd go away but it has been going on for exactly 10 months now. Oh, everytime they attack I want to bang my head against the wall and hit my head, I want them OUT!!! I pray and they are still there. Don't know why God won't get rid of them, so I'm just going to have to trust Him. This is hard guys, I am so overwhelmed right now. School is stressing me out too, trying to keep straight A's and be perfect, it is just too hard. I forget to do things sometimes (like pray at lunch) and I ask God for forgiveness and feel guilty. Just so much guilt and shame...I feel like I have repented so much... who knows how many times I can become a new creation because I keep becoming new then going straight back to old by doing another sin.














I just went back and read it again. Going to Chruch 2 days a week, reading the Bible everynight, you know what I just realized?

It's not enough. ITS NOT FLIPPING ENOUGH. I should be IN MY ROOM RIGHT NOW reading the Bible from morning to Dark, praying every flipping second, and thinking of God all day!! I should be going to Chruch Sun, Mon, Wed, and Sat. I should instead of going to Church at 11, go to Chruch at 9:30 too. I should go feed homeless ppl in my city on a regular basis, I should STOP ASKING MY PARENTS FOR THINGS like DUMB video game! I should be off this computer and in my room PRAYING and begging God to just take me away. Oh my, this is all so much. I can't. I am going to go into a depression. I should be so happy, but I am not. why am I so tired? I literally come home from school everyday and end up sleeping on the couch for 2 hours after school, sometimes more, because I am soo flipping tired. Lord have mercy on my soul. I am a failure, and I can't do this. I want to be able to be in Heaven and make you proud, I want to dwell in your presence, I want to do GREAT things for YOU BUT I CANT. I can't. I. Just. Cant. I keep failing you over and over, and I can't. I'm so sorry. You can't use me, I'm too dirty with sin. And I tell you I'll do better but don't. I still do it, I strive to be perfect but can't. Ill never be good enough for you, im sorry. I should be thrown in Hell because I can't keep sinning when I tell you i'll stop. You died for me because of my wretched ways and here I am still sinning. It's disgusting. I disgusts myself. How dare I do this to HIM!!!!


"Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him."

I would like to think Jesus is all I want. He is, I love Him miserably, even though I don't deserve to. I fail and fail again. I can't keep them! I keep failing, does this mean I do not love Him? Oh, God I am sorry if this means I don't!

"If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commands and remain in his love."

Do I not remain in His love? Oh. how I wish I did. I can't keep the commandments like Jesus. I still have attitudes with my parents, still fail.

You are correct that being a Christian is hard ; it is also impossible to do in our own strength and effort. But when you get Christ actually IN your Soul and submit to his leadership in your life, then HE takes the reigns and its not so tough . Sure, challenges and bad things will occur in our lives as Christians, but, we have a divine power to overcome them . The Christian Life is THE most gratifying life to live on earth because of our inheritance that comes from God...and that can be enjoyed now on earth as well as in fruition in Heaven forever. Amazing things happen in our life when we allow God full control and the way he chips away at our rough edges and modifys our desires, intentions, motives, personality, etc...is a real miracle. There is no o ne else and there is no other method by which the entire Person can be changed , qualitatively, than the effect Christ has on a person. Its a radical overhaul especially for the person who was caught up in the WOrld for years. I can personally attest to that.

 

[strelok0017]

@OP: It is hard but the yoke of Christ is light. Most of our struggles come from just forgetting who God is. There are some sharp verses in the Bible but all truth is such; it needs to have an edge to fight sin. Trust God and seek Him as much as you can. I do not hope because I can but because God is great. Pray that He does this in your life: live it out of His riches in glory and do not look to yourself, except occasionally to test yourself to see if you are in the faith.