- Jun 27, 2003
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"Behind The Mirror"
*** WARINING TISSUES NEEDED ***
When I was a little girl we lived in New York City just down the block from my grandparents. Every evening my grandfather would go for his "constitutional." In the summers I would join him.
One evening when Grandpa and I went for our walk, I asked how things were different when he was a little boy compared to now, 1964. He told me about outhouses instead of flush toilets, horses instead of cars, letters instead of telephones candles instead of electric lights. As he told me all the wonderful things that that I never thought of living without my little mind wandered and I asked him, "Grandpa, what was the hardest thing you ever had to do in your life?"
Grandpa stopped walking and stared at the horizon and didn't say a word for a minute or so. Then he knelt down and took my hands and with tears in his eyes he began to speak.
"When your mom, and uncles were little children, Grandma got very sick after your Aunt Mary was born. Grandma had to go to a place called a sanitarium to get well for a long time. The little ones went to live with Grandma's sisters. But there was no one to take care of your mom and uncles so they went to an orphanage. The nuns took care of them for me so I could work two and three jobs to get your Grandma well and everyone home again.
"The hardest thing I ever had to do was put them in there. I went every week to see them but the nuns would not let me talk to them or hold them. I watched the three of them play from behind a one-way mirror. I brought them sweets every week hoping they knew it was from me. I would keep both hands on the glass for the 30 minutes I was allowed to see them, hoping they would come and touch my hand. I went a whole year without touching my children. I missed them very much. But I know it was a harder year for them. I will never forgive myself for not making the nuns let me hold them. But they said I would do them more harm than good and they would have even more trouble living there. So I listened.
" I had never seen my Grandfather cry before. He held me close and I told him that I had the best Grandfather ever and that I loved him. We continued our walks for years until my family and Grandparents moved to separate states. Fifteen years went by and I never talked about that one special walk with Grandpa. After my Grandmother passed away, my Grandfather had memory lapses and what I believe were periods of depression. I was encouraging my mother to let Grandpa come and live with us. My mother and Grandpa were never very close. She was not interested in the topic of Grandpa coming to live with us. But I kept harping "it was our duty as a family to figure out what was best for him.
In a fit of rage she replied, "Why? He never cared about what happened to us!" I somehow knew what she was talking about. "He has always cared and loved you," I said. My mother replied, "You don't know what you are talking about!" "The hardest thing he ever did was put you, Uncles Eddie and Kevin in the orphanage."
"Who told you about that?" she asked. My mother had never discussed her days there with us. "Mom, he came every week to see the three of you. He used to watch the three of you play from behind the one-way mirror. He used to bring you sweets every visit. He never missed a week. He hated not being able to hold you for that year!"
"You're lying! He was never there. No one ever came to see us."
"How would I know about the visits if he didn't tell me. How would I know about the treats he brought? He was there. He was always there. But the nuns wouldn't let him be in the room with you because they said it would be too hard when he had to leave. Mom, Grandpa loves you and always has!"
That day changed my mother's relationship with her father for the rest of his life. He always thought that his children knew that he was there behind the glass but because they had not felt the warmth and strength of his arms they thought he had forgotten them. My Grandfather came to live with us for the rest of his life. At least my mom learned her father had always loved her, even if she learned it from her little girl.
Author Unknown
Submitted by Richard
*** WARINING TISSUES NEEDED ***
When I was a little girl we lived in New York City just down the block from my grandparents. Every evening my grandfather would go for his "constitutional." In the summers I would join him.
One evening when Grandpa and I went for our walk, I asked how things were different when he was a little boy compared to now, 1964. He told me about outhouses instead of flush toilets, horses instead of cars, letters instead of telephones candles instead of electric lights. As he told me all the wonderful things that that I never thought of living without my little mind wandered and I asked him, "Grandpa, what was the hardest thing you ever had to do in your life?"
Grandpa stopped walking and stared at the horizon and didn't say a word for a minute or so. Then he knelt down and took my hands and with tears in his eyes he began to speak.
"When your mom, and uncles were little children, Grandma got very sick after your Aunt Mary was born. Grandma had to go to a place called a sanitarium to get well for a long time. The little ones went to live with Grandma's sisters. But there was no one to take care of your mom and uncles so they went to an orphanage. The nuns took care of them for me so I could work two and three jobs to get your Grandma well and everyone home again.
"The hardest thing I ever had to do was put them in there. I went every week to see them but the nuns would not let me talk to them or hold them. I watched the three of them play from behind a one-way mirror. I brought them sweets every week hoping they knew it was from me. I would keep both hands on the glass for the 30 minutes I was allowed to see them, hoping they would come and touch my hand. I went a whole year without touching my children. I missed them very much. But I know it was a harder year for them. I will never forgive myself for not making the nuns let me hold them. But they said I would do them more harm than good and they would have even more trouble living there. So I listened.
" I had never seen my Grandfather cry before. He held me close and I told him that I had the best Grandfather ever and that I loved him. We continued our walks for years until my family and Grandparents moved to separate states. Fifteen years went by and I never talked about that one special walk with Grandpa. After my Grandmother passed away, my Grandfather had memory lapses and what I believe were periods of depression. I was encouraging my mother to let Grandpa come and live with us. My mother and Grandpa were never very close. She was not interested in the topic of Grandpa coming to live with us. But I kept harping "it was our duty as a family to figure out what was best for him.
In a fit of rage she replied, "Why? He never cared about what happened to us!" I somehow knew what she was talking about. "He has always cared and loved you," I said. My mother replied, "You don't know what you are talking about!" "The hardest thing he ever did was put you, Uncles Eddie and Kevin in the orphanage."
"Who told you about that?" she asked. My mother had never discussed her days there with us. "Mom, he came every week to see the three of you. He used to watch the three of you play from behind the one-way mirror. He used to bring you sweets every visit. He never missed a week. He hated not being able to hold you for that year!"
"You're lying! He was never there. No one ever came to see us."
"How would I know about the visits if he didn't tell me. How would I know about the treats he brought? He was there. He was always there. But the nuns wouldn't let him be in the room with you because they said it would be too hard when he had to leave. Mom, Grandpa loves you and always has!"
That day changed my mother's relationship with her father for the rest of his life. He always thought that his children knew that he was there behind the glass but because they had not felt the warmth and strength of his arms they thought he had forgotten them. My Grandfather came to live with us for the rest of his life. At least my mom learned her father had always loved her, even if she learned it from her little girl.
Author Unknown
Submitted by Richard
