I had that problem too, even till now I'm still struggling with that.
I was filled with zeal for God when I received Christ, attended prayers meetings and church regularly, but within 2 weeks, my zeal gone down. I'd feel sad, unmotivated and not sure whether to go on. I feel defeated whenever I fall into temptation, I questioned why God tested me that way, I feel more sadness and less joyous...I asked my friends why they can be so happy being christians...why I am always filled with negativity.
Yes, I backslided and at a point refused to come back to God. I immersed myself with work and studies, finding excuses not to do prayer and read Bible. However, what make me want to come back to God is because I started to realise life without God is more miserable, every defeats I faced...I feel more helpless...my life became meaningless and without purpose. the more I feel that way, the more I longed to go back to where I first started...
I started to recall and ask why I accepted Christ in the first place. I recalled that day when I confess my sins and say Yes to God. I told myself I should not give up, coz God wont give up on me. all those sad moments is a way God asking me to go back to him. I must go on...no matter what will happen in future, I must hold on to this love...It's been 6 yrs now when I first accepted Christ....
Dear brother, pls hold on to this love...remember the happiness you spent with God, how God have loved you. Make this a purpose in everyday living--to be closer to God. you will feel more accomplised and more desire to live for God....I am not good in advice but I do hope by sharing my walk with God, I have help in some way.
