Back Again, still the same...

[John the Engineer]

For those of you that know my situation, I ask you even more than all others for your advice.

I had a very difficult relationship come to a close because of my girlfriend's mother. My participation involved lies and deceit to trick her mother and gain time with my girlfriend. I have never met her Mom face to face, or on the phone, or in anyway. However I feel a conviction about the lies which I was a part of. I have asked the Lord's forgiveness and I have been debating about seeking forgiveness directly from her Mom.

I know where her Mom works (she runs a shop) and I know when I can go that my (ex)girlfriend won't be there, nor any of her family. Her Mom has avoided me in previous instances and indeed I don't know if she would even receive me to give me a chance to speak, but I feel like I should try. I'm not seeking this as a chance to gain favor and win the relationship back, but just as a chance to clear my soul and apologize to a woman that I wronged.

What do you think? Let it lie, move on and let the Lord work if he's going to? Or seek forgiveness from a woman who refused to even meet me in the first place?

 

[ProCommunioneFacior]

John,

Although, it may be hard, and I am not sure I would do it myself, I think that the ideal thing would be to seek forgiveness from her, face to face.

 

[Warrior Poet]

John I have been following your threads and story since the first post you made about it. Ill try to keep this short and "sweet". Let it go. At some point you are gonna have to find peace with the situation learn a valuable lesson and apply it life post "mom and ex". More then forgiveness it seems to be about closure, if talking to mom is gonna bring it then it may be something you need to do, but after that its over bro time to move on with everything. By the last two questions in your post this is what I get, God is working he got you out of a bad situation, one that was wrong no matter how you factor in love, mom, and logic. Hes working so let Him do his thing in you. Mom has to live with what she is doing/done pray that at some point she will see how unfair it was and repent, seeking her forgiveness may be the key, or it may create more turbulance only you can forsee that for sure. By talking to mom are you making the situation better, or are you doing it just cause, motivation to your actions are what is really to be debated. You will be held accountable for your actions as you already have been, this situation and your actions in this instance wont change that. I pray for wisdom for you my friend, and peace within yourself.

Warrior Poet

 

[John the Engineer]

I guess closure is really what I am looking for. I feel like maybe if I can at least voice to her Mom that I am sorry about what I've done maybe I'll be able to seal that within myself. I'm just concerned that it may end up coming off as a plea for trying to let us date again. I've just started to come to the realization that no matter what reasons I justified it, lies are lies. I don't know if she'll even give me a chance to talk, but I feel like I just have to take a shot at it. I just wonder if it's an idea that's just me trying to do something and not trusting in the Lord to work. I keep praying about it, but I've been struggling so much lately for what I'm supposed to be doing.

 

[katelyn]

I think it's good of you to want to clear things up with her mom, but I do think that it's quite likely that either the mom or the daughter (or both) will think this is your way of trying to get back with her, and may prolong the situation longer than need be. I would give it a lot of thought and prayer before making your decision on this one.

 

[LadyBird]

Are you going to talk to her because you want to appologize to her or are you doing this so that it will make you feel better (ie. bring you closure)?

I agree with what Katelyn said.

 

[catch22]

Ask God.....and if he doesn't tell you.....ask again! I had to ask for nearly six weeks before I got my answer. My situation is very similar to yours by the way. God spoke to me and said,"Love and Patience". I know exactly what he means. He may not give you the same response, but just be preparred to do whatever is in his will for you, even if it does mean ultimatley letting her go. But with a situation like this, definatley deinatley definatley seek God's guidance.

 

[John the Engineer]

My desire to talk to her Mom is first that I feel a conviction over my fault in this, and that I have been a huge part of sinning against her Mom. I have never had the opportunity, or at least never pursued the opportunity, to apologize to her directly. I was always afraid it would bring more consequences down on my girlfriend. But a lot of that was fear I think, and an excuse.

But I also want closure, just to know that even though I may be waiting on the Lord, I at least know that I have done everything in right manner. I ended the relationship because it was wrong, I apologized to those that needed apologizing, and thanked those that helped me through it. Right now I haven't apologized to one person. And for that I don't know.

I have been waiting on the Lord, but I haven't found any answers. I've been pursuing him so much, just to have him tell me that I am with him and waiting on him. But I feel like I receive nothing, no word, no confirmation of being on the path. Sometimes I wonder if I've just gotten so far from the path that he is nowhere in sight of me. I believe he's with me, but I just can't seem to find his way, and I feel like a child who doesn't even know the face of the father.

 

[Stanfi]

John,

Seeking forgiveness from her mom is a good thing. However, you had better make sure that God is in it, and has prepared her heart to receive what you are going to say. If not, your effort is going to blow up like and A Bomb. Why? Her mom wants you to dissappear, not show up and apologize. If you do this make sure you motives are pure. If you are expecting something out of this, then it not going to happen.

Asking that God grants you wisdom in this matter.