Awkward question about effeminacy

[BSharp]

Forget it. I regret posting now.

 

[Spunkn]

Are you a young guy? Middle aged? Older?

What's your family life been like? Have you felt loved and accepted for most of it?

 

[BSharp]

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[Spunkn]

Okay, well I'm sorry if I didn't approach it the way you wanted me to, so I'll try again.


Here is what the Bible says about it

Deuteronomy 22:5 “A woman shall not wear a man's garment, nor shall a man put on a woman's cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God.

Now with that verse, I'm just trying to point out that I think wearing women's clothing is wrong if you are doing it with the soul purpose of feeling more feminine. God made us all different, male and female. But I'm not trying to say you're a horrible person, far from it. We all have sins.

If you simply like how it feels, and it's just a piece of clothing for you, then whatever. I just find that there's usually a deeper issue there most of the time when it comes to dressing up in women's clothing. What that issue is, I don't know. I don't think women are dressing up in jeans to feel more masculine, it's simply more comfortable and relaxed compared to a dress. Guys wearing a bra or something on the other hand, that has nothing to do with actually being clothing for a guy.

What do you mean Christians are out of touch with Western society nowdays? Are you saying we should conform our values to what "western society" says is true? Or should we stay with what the Bible says is true?

Regardless, whenever faced with questions like these. Ask yourself, is this helping my relationship with God or hindering it? Is it edifying to Him?

 

[cerette]

Do you find some sort of sexual pleasure in wearing them? If so, I guess it's just another fetish.
If it is so that you wear them because they are comfortable and you wear it just like any other piece of clothing I don't really see anything "sick" with it...I do however understand why you'd be embarrassed and don't want people to know..if you feel that it is somehow a problem in your life I suggest you speak to a therapist about it. But if it is simply a piece of clothing mostly used by women, I don't see why you can't continue.

 

[GenetoJean]

I don't think anything is wrong with it but if you feel a conviction against it then that is something you should take into consideration.

 

[RuthD]

I don't know where to begin as this is incredibly awkward and embarrassing for me.

Well firstly, I didn't know where to post this so I figured this section was the most appropriate. So here goes nothing. I am a mostly regular, straight guy that has been wearing women's hosiery since about the age of 5. It all started when out of curiosity I tried on my mums' and was hooked ever since. I have no desire to be a woman or engage in any other feminine traits, such as makeup, skirts etc. I don't really fit into any of the usual categories of transsexual, cross dresser, gender identity disorder etc as I just love one item of female clothing. I associate the term "cross dresser" with being dressed up with more than one item of female clothing for the purposes of emulating a female. But perhaps some of you may regard differently.

I basically love hosiery for pretty much the same reasons as females do. Comfort, softness, warmth. I never go out revealing such but I do love the look of it too, especially under a large oversized shirt. Strictly at home.

I have been far too embarrassed to say this to anyone and so have been bottling this up for a long time. I feel that people will think of me as laughable and humiliating. I ask this because of the still strong societal stereotypes about what men should be. And I obviously don't fit into this mould on this one issue.

What I want to know is this a disgrace and humiliation for me as a male? Thanking you for your considered responses.

You are not the only male who likes to wear hosiery. Football players do to keep warm. You are not harming anyone doing that so I would just be yourself and do as you like. l support your liking to wear hosiery. God bless you brother!

 

[BSharp]

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[fdsfndls]

I'd say if it bothers you, something's wrong.

 

[BSharp]

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[technofox]

Well thanks at least for addressing me, even if you didn't actually reply to my post. I actual regret posting now on a Christian forum, forgetting that most Christians are social conservatives, and pretty well out of touch with most of Western society nowadays. Things like the man is the head of the home and wives submit to their husband etc.

I know where you are going with that question and I will definitely not answer it except for the age part. I'm a younger guy. And I will not answer the rest because it will bring on a flood of pseudo psychological responses which I don't want.

For eg, if I say that I grew up with an overbearing distant father (which I'm not), then someone will say that I'm using the warmth, comfort and softness of hosiery to make up for that lack in my childhood. In other words, some highly stretched out, far fetched response attempting to link up some deficiency in my childhood with my enjoyment of hosiery. If I say for eg that my mum was an alcoholic, someone will say that I used hosiery to remind me of her. This is all very convoluted and I'm not going to accept any amateur psychology.

It's a really simple question I asked and I'm looking for some responses devoid of anything about my childhood.

Prejudice much?

Seriously why did you judge us before even waiting for an answer?


Some of us are scientists or work in fields that require a tremendous amount of education. Anyway, the first responder was just trying to get your family history to understand your background better and give you a better answer.

Instead you decide to deride him to get an expected result of prejudice from more conservative Christians. Is it me or am I just seeing something that isn't there?


As for your question the Deuteronomy post explains what the bible says verbatim, but lets not forget there was a story in the Old Testament where someone did dress like a woman to escape or hide, please correct me if I am wrong. It isn't necessarily a sin, because you have no intent to act as a woman from what I can tell, but it's really up to your conscience if you believe in Christ, either way if you believe in Jesus you are saved.

 

[BSharp]

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[technofox]

Yes, I'm sorry I came out a bit abrupt upon responding to my first reply. I'm just a little frustrated that I'm not getting any real dialogue. A couple of people have been supportive but the non supportive posters are just giving me vague, generalised responses and obscure OT quotes. I don't mind if someone is not in agreement with me. I encourage open dialogue. But amateur psycho analysing is not helping me, neither is one vague Biblical quote all the way back in the OT, in the same time when food was categorised as clean and unclean.

If I really want to get technical to get my way around one verse in the OT, there are a whole host of European sites that sell all types of hosiery that are specifically made for either men or unisex. From sheer pantyhose to opaque tights. So that is an easy way out of any OT verse about men's and women's clothing. So why don't I just do that?

Because it costs a lot more and in the end, it's still pantyhose and tights. Regardless of the marketing. Do I believe that people would not look down upon me because I wear hosiery that is actually made for men? No. I might as well just wear women's that I can get locally and cheaply with far more variety.

As I said, non supporters aren't really saying anything to me. It's just making me feel like a freak to be honest.

In some professions men have to wear panty hose. I forget which, but I believe ballet is one of them. Let also not forget that in arctic climates people may wear panty hose to stay warmer since it traps heat to the skin.

 

[motherprayer]

I have a thought. What does it matter what others think?

I'm a Christian, and I also have Asperger's Syndrome. I am an extremely socially awkward person, IRL. I've been bullied most of my life, and it has hurt me.

I wear my pantyhose on my face, so to speak

But I had to eventually realize, that just because I have a personality that isn't generally socially acceptable, doesn't mean I AM a bad person, or that I should internalize what others say about me.

I say, wear the hose. Enjoy the thrill of it, and don't let societal codes bother you.

 

[BSharp]

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[motherprayer]

You wear the hose on your face? So you rob banks?? Just kidding!

I'm sorry I am completely unfamiliar with your syndrome. I am just curious as to what sort of personality you have that you state is socially unacceptable? What actually is Asperger's Syndrome?

And thank you for the support and kind words.

You're welcome. Aspergers is sort of a social disorder. Its in the autism spectrum. My experience is, well, when I'm out in the world, I experience it a bit differently from "normal" people. I don't "fit" per se. Mmostly because I'm emotionally detached from most social situations, for instance, when I'm at a party, it isn't enjoyable in the same way for me as it is the rest of the partygoers. Lol and if I get excited, it usually isn't enjoyable for anyone ELSE

Lol I joke often that I'm not really human, because my experience of the human emotional spectrum is limited. I don't really understand grief, and when a close loved one died I remember looking at my family members mourning and just not truly understanding why it was so sad.

Haha enough about me you, my friend, sound like someone who is normal, who simply has an affinity for a piece of clothing which is not the "typical" dress for someone such as yourself. I WILL say I don't particularly know if I would be comfortable with my husband wearing em but that's okay, cause you're not my husband.

Don't worry too much about the norm. It changes with the wind. Hay, next year you might even find that they've gone in style!

Bless you!

 

[BSharp]

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[Chaplain David]

Yes, something's "wrong", I agree. But I've already explained that. If I was an alternative type of person, a metrosexual, impeccably groomed, having a strong fashion sense, with a love of arts and the like, then many people would say that I'm a bit on the unorthodox, flamboyant side.

But I'm not. I'm in every other way a regular guy that likes simple, hearty meals not too sophisticated, likes a bit of hard rock, doesn't care for fashion and wears basic clothing otherwise, doesn't like art, works in a respectable profession, likes sport, likes barbeques and the like.

I wear something that I have to keep to myself because all of society would laugh or scorn me for. That's what is "wrong". And I would be labelled as gay, effeminate, pansy etc for just this one thing. That is what is "wrong".

God bless you BSharp.

 

[motherprayer]

Thank you for your honest reply. I've highlighted part of your post that I found most revealing. And to be totally truthful, I personally feel that you are not completely accepting of me as you claim. And I don't mean that in a hurtful sense, I'm just saying what I feel.

Because if you truly saw nothing wrong in it for me, then you'd find nothing wrong in it if that were your husband.

Hmm. You may have something there. For me, I think its a matter of personal preference though. Like, I won't wear skirts shorter than knee length. I won't, however, bash a person who does. It is a preference of mine, but that doesn't mean I have to project that preference onto others.

Too many times we feel when we have a preference that everyone must validate it. That is not so. Your preference is to wear pantyhose. That doesn't mean others who don't are wrong, and if others don't, it doesn't make you wrong either

We can't change other people, only ourselves. We shouldn't ever change due to other people, only God.

 

[BSharp]

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