Attractive Personal Trainers

[brokenbananas]

Ok, another question for all you married couples. Would you allow your spouse to work with a very attractive, single personal trainer of the opposite sex on a regular basis, let's say 2+ times a week over a long period of time?

All my trainers were attractive, single, and male (I'm a woman) with the exception of 1 who was a married woman. I did have a problem with 1 trainer who I sort of really liked. Anyway, so as to not pose a problem in my marriage, I prayed...God answered. That trainer ended up quitting his job and relocating to a better job. It had nothing to do with me, but it probably would not have been a great situation if I worked with him for any real length of time. A distraction in my marriage.

So, one of the things that I look for in a trainer now if I use one is that we do make a connection, but if I feel there's going to be any sort of other connection that would lead me to want to stray in my marriage, I'll look for a different trainer. Don't want to put myself in the position of being tempted. Satan's walking about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour....it ain't gonna be me!!!

 

[hisbloodformysins]

Hmmm, sounds like you have a lust problem. No offense. Some ppl struggle with this more than others. For me it has happened on several occassions, but mainly because of the quality of mine and mine husband's relationship. So let me ask you, are you happily married? Because if not than I don't know if it matters if you avoid working with every attractive man out there- well, actually avoiding them would decrease your chances of having an affair. But I believe that an affair is a problem of the heart- no matter how much you cleanse the outside- it's the inside that needs the cleansing- which only God can do. And if you two are lacking in any way, even if it's minor, it'd be a good idea to come together to discuss it or go to marriage counseling if you're interested in saving your marriage. Or maybe that's not the case at all- maybe it purely is just attraction- and you are happily married. I think that's a good idea to avoid someone that's a hinderance, and maybe making a commitment to sticking to a female instructor- for that added protected- instead of walking on the wild side and saying "I can control myself" while walking on the other green pastor- that you won't eat the grass- if you know what I mean. But to answer your question- being how I'm the extremely jealous type- no way jose, if my hubby insisted on working with female weight trainers- that be almost grounds for divorce in my mind- just because if he insisted- would show that working with these women were more important to him than me. My hubby is not the jealous type- he'd probably make a comment and be a little observant- but he'd rationalize it away. Anyways good luck, I'll try to remember to pray for you.

 

[HeatherJay]

Why not just work out with your hubby? My man makes a wonderful workout partner and he motivates me far more than a trainer whom I barely know could. Anyway, yes, I'd try to avoid temptations like cute, muscular men in workout attire. That's definitely asking for trouble if you're not totally secure in your marriage.

Love, Heather

 

[Chark]

I would not work with a personal trainer of the opposite sex - attractive or not. Satan likes to attack marriages through infidelity (adultery is just looking at someone and lusting after them in your heart) and jealousy (possibly your husb ands). Why not find a qualified female trainer. I'm sure your husband would be much more comfortable with this arrangement. We have to protect our marriages!

 

[selune]

I would not work with a personal trainer of the opposite sex - attractive or not. Satan likes to attack marriages through infidelity (adultery is just looking at someone and lusting after them in your heart) and jealousy (possibly your husb ands). Why not find a qualified female trainer. I'm sure your husband would be much more comfortable with this arrangement. We have to protect our marriages!

Right on. In fact, even if you have no lust, this situation may cause jealousy and distrust thus creating problems even when there was nothing to worry about in the beginning. I like to work out with my husband, he sees that I'm trying to get healthier and we get to be together.

 

[E-beth]

If I worked with ANY personal trainer my hubby would probably die laughing...prolly thetrainer would too.

I believe that trainers are hired by gyms and things because they are good-looking and make you feel good about yourself. That is already a strike against you. Besides that, if it would make my husband feel bad about himself or make him feel like he had a reason to worry about me, then I wouldn't keep a male trainer.

It is possible to have a male good-looking mechanic, or computer guy, or boss without much problem. But a trainer is different, in that he has to manipulate your body and stuff.

That's my opinion anyway.

 

[brokenbananas]

Wow, lots of good points. Let's see, where to start. Neither my husband and I are the jealous types. We both on a regular basis work with people of the opposite sex in our professions and it's just not a part of who we are. We are, however, as one person pointed out, observant about details. Our marriage is pretty good, but as like most marriages, we have our issues that we have to work on that periodically occur. We do actually go to regular Christian marriage counseling to help us improve our marriage. We started this early in our marriage, as we both have come from broken pasts. We used to go weekly when we had tons of issues, but now we are down to once every 2-4 wks.

I don't think I really have lust issues, as my attraction with men is not typically visual, rather it is getting to know someone on a personal/emotional basis. The thing that happened with that one trainer (nothing happened but attraction) was that I really didn't want a pretty boy for a trainer, rather someone that was highly intelligent, analytical, detailed-oriented, committed, professional and would ascertain all my many questions. When I saw him, I thought, great...pretty boy...gonna have to deal with his ego. I was so wrong to judge someone by their looks. He was not at all egotistical and never even recognized how good-looking he was. He was also a humble, very intelligent, professional person that really did meet my criteria. And, with him, since I measured all my results on a weekly basis, I was able to see really good progress. He tolerated and happily answered all my questions without being annoyed, as some trainers are. He never was sarcastic, had a good sense of humor. Anyway, he more than exceeded my expectations. Over the course of time, it was him as a person that I was attracted to. My trainer was also very happy to have a client who truly was willing to work so hard, rather than his normal clients whom he just had to babysit. He had to tell me on several occasions that I was working too hard...and that was coming from a marine who was a drill sargeant....

Since my husband and I keep our marriage communication lines open and discuss all sorts of things, he began to notice that I was just a little too eager to go workout, even though I have always loved working out...and that I was talking about him too much. We did pray, God did answer because shortly after that, my trainer said that he needed to quit his job for financial reasons and move onto a job that paid more. End of that story.

At this point, when I am finished nursing my son, I'll get another trainer. It doesn't matter to me what they look like, male or female...but, if they meet my other qualifications, then it's a go. I'll know to not get too personal. I typically would prefer a male over a female, but that's because that's what I'm used to working with in my own career.

I really would love to workout with my husband, but he hates the gym and weightlifting. Our home isn't big enough to accommodate gym equipment. He is a cyclist, but does no strength training. I feel he should and have tried to get him to come to the gym. He also does not like working out with me (we tried about 5 yrs back). He says I'm too rigid in my workouts (I like structure). He says he'd rather network with people than workout.

For me, although I've been working out for years and totally love it, a good trainer still will have more knowledge than me to get me to my goals. Although, they can observe whether I am doing the exercises in good form or not or help me with those last few reps where I cannot if doing it alone. I do push myself hard, but somehow, with a trainer it's just a little bit more. And, I do know that some bodybuilders and trainers have their own trainers. I figure why not emulate the people I want to be in terms of fitness?

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Just remember that everyone has their kryptonite. This situation invites trouble.

 

[brokenbananas]

You're right Mr. Cheese...always something to be aware of. Thank you, Doris

 

[Vollkommen Warrior]

"Hmmm, sounds like you have a lust problem. No offense. Some ppl struggle with this more than others."

Yes, I agree. It has nothing to do with the trainer. It has everything to do with yourself. I would pray about this if I were you as I will too. Take care.

 

[Vollkommen Warrior]

I would not work with a personal trainer of the opposite sex - attractive or not. Satan likes to attack marriages through infidelity (adultery is just looking at someone and lusting after them in your heart) and jealousy (possibly your husb ands). Why not find a qualified female trainer. I'm sure your husband would be much more comfortable with this arrangement. We have to protect our marriages!

I agree with this also. Some things you avoid like the plague as insurance. Besides who knows your body type better than the same sex?

 

[Mrs. Enigma]

Just remember that everyone has their kryptonite. This situation invites trouble.

Excellent post, being too close to some one of the opposite sex, touching, spending time alone with them, etc. all invite temptation.
Bad bad news.

 

[brokenbananas]

I'll take a good female trainer into consideration...I've only had 2 female trainers over all these years, the rest have been men. The men have actually gotten me better results. Most trainers I've been with aren't into touching their clients much except to help with form and that isn't frequent. With the 2 women trainers, it becomes more like a chatty patty thing, which makes my sessions less effective, and they just aren't as tough as the male trainers. Plus, since I don't deal with women on a normal basis, I feel less comfortable with women then men. But, nonetheless, I'll work on this area and take these suggestions to heart. I still have 4-6 months before I hire a trainer and will pray/search for what God wants me to do.

 

[hisbloodformysins]

MDolls, I think that is really great that you two have decided early on to go to couple christian counseling together, still do, and that you two pray about situations. I think it's great that you two are that close.