...Asperger's? Who, me?!

[rosesandravens]

My psychiatrist (I've previously been treated for bipolar disorder and ADD) today told me that he thinks I might have Asperger's Syndrome.

I was a tad shocked.

I don't have any prejudices against people with Asperger's/autism, but I just never thought that I might have it. I can see where there might be symptoms, for example I tend to be obsessive over my hobby or task du jour, being in an unfamiliar sort of environment or situation stresses me and my social skills are, at times, a bit lacking. It's not that I avoid social contact, I just don't feel the need to seek it out as often as some people do (my school even sent me to a shrink when I was 6 because they thought I was alienating myself from the other kids, when I was really quite fine), and I can be a bit tactless sometimes. The number of times my mother has told me off in private for saying something to another person at some stage previously, when I had no idea it could be considered offensive or rude - or someone's started yelling me and I've been like "Whaaa? What'd I do?"...

That said, the Aspergers thing still seems a bit odd. I mean, I can function in society, I have lots of friends (although not many close friends) and I've been told I'm fun to be around. Heck, I'm an actor - ever heard of a shy actor? Besides, I don't know. Wouldn't it be more... obvious? I mean, 18 years until diagnosis, in an age when such things are recognised?

Hrm. I'm not even sure what the point of this thread is. I just feel a bit bewildered, I guess, and it's probably a good idea to get some imput from people who actually know what I'm on about.

 

[PretzelMonger]

Yeah there are varying degrees even within Asperger's itself. I did have friends too in school, but few close friends. I have issues with eye contact. I can also get obsessive with stuff. I've always been fairly talkative. Except during school, as I wanted to learn. Look, point is, you sound similar to me and I have the diagnosis.

I don't see it being so far-fetched.

(And yes I have heard of a shy actor. They're fine doing dialog, but don't care to socialize all that much. Interviews and talk shows are not their things.)

 

[uniquetadpole]

I was 34 before I was diagnosed...and it was a shocker to me...it took me at least a week before I could say I am autistic without my stomache doing flip flops...

I too in many ways learned howw to cope in society...but really don't have too much of a desire to. Sure I want to connect to others. But not at the cost of what I ended up going through.

Friends...no don't have many but those around me find me funny and enjoyable...even though I am always feeling like people don't like me unless I put on my actor suit and be sociable. I think there is a huge difference between being able to cope socially and wanting to become someone that inside you really aren't.


I guess what I am trying to say is that...it is not uncommon for those with AS to get overlooked. Especially females for some reason.

And one plus is... you aren't alone...

did you know that Steven Speilberg has AS.

 

[PretzelMonger]

Hmm note the thread has posts by 3 females and 0 males. Something is odd here!

 

[drifter5]

I only found out that i have Asperger's a few months ago and i am 30 now . I do not find your situation too strange either . I was also shocked.

 

[SallyNow]

I haven't been diagnosed with Asbergers but I do have some learning disabilities. I wasn't diagnosed until I was well in to my late teens, and there are still things that need to be worked out.

I do have friends with Asbergers, and some were not diagnosed until they were in their 20's. It was not uncommon in the 80's and 90's for girls to be overlooked for LD's, social difficulties, etc. They were just labeled "shy" or "daydreamers" and that was that... or they were diagnosed with another problem that can display similiar symtoms...

Also, there is such a thing as a shy actor. I know dozens. It's not uncommon at all. It sounds a bit weird, but it's not really.

 

[rosesandravens]

Hmmm. It's all very interesting, and still rather surprising. I mean... I guess I could see it. The symptoms relating to things other than sociability are quite like me. Especially when I was a kid... personality traits such as my obsession with certain subjects and dislike of change were much, much worse when I was young. My life was a series of obsessive interests, which were arguably fairly obscure for a kid - from the paranormal to meteorology to modern European history, etc. I was a ridiculously fussy eater (even today I get oddly annoyed if I can't have a specific beverage with a specific meal, etc) and I remember having hysterics when mum moved the position of my bed in my room when I was about 9. I'm still less than pleased and get grumpy if someone changes some aspect of my environment (no matter how trivial) without my prior permission... even if I can see that it's a good idea!

As for the social stuff... that is my biggest reason for doubt. I mean, people fascinate me - I have a keen interest in Psychology and studying human behaviour and body language. However, as someone just pointed out to me, it's a fairly intellectual, analytical interest of mine, rather than just something which is intuitive. My observation, mimicry and calculated efforts to relate to and empathise with other people are exactly like the techniques I use in my acting. Even my expressions and body language are often the result of a conscious decision. I don't just instinctively do it, unless it's fairly blatant (ie, "Oops, she's crying, that can't be good!").

Perhaps the reason I'm so good in a social setting such as a party or at school is because I'm so always so aware of what I should do and pay attention to. When I'm not making a conscious effort, in mundane day-to-day situations such as speaking to a salesperson, I have to admit I tend to feel... socially clumsy. I'm good with sarcasm, though (my friends might say too good!) - being too literal doesn't seem to be something I have issue with, unless it's a rather subtle implication... in which case it'll take me a moment.

Also, one of my second cousins has high-functioning autism. Not the closest of relatives, but I guess that's some genetic link.

I guess the question now is... do I want an official diagnosis? That probably sounds ruder than I mean - as in, maybe ignorance is bliss? I worry that I or other people might accidentally place too much emphasis on the AS... start to see it as my defining feature of my personality, or the key reason for why I do things.