Asking for Forgiveness

[Hospitaller96]

Hi! I'm completely new to this forum, and I am looking for advice on how to appropriately handle a situation. The sins of my past have revealed themselves, and I have no idea how to face the consequences regarding the people I hurt in my life.

Back in the day, I met a girl who introduced me to Christianity. We spent much time together, and eventually started dating. I was engaged in youth group and attended church every Sunday because of her and her family's mentorship. However, as our relationship progressed, we eventually had sexual intercourse outside the boundaries of marriage. Our relationship ended because we recognized how unhealthy it was, and we went our separate ways. To provide more context, when we were together, her family was generous to me and helped raise me in a certain way because my parents were somewhat "absent" in my life. Although our relationship ended, I made a conscious effort to stop my sinful behavior and always continued to attend church. Despite my flaws, I did not want to lose sight on my identity in Christ, even though I am broken.

Years later to today, our sexual immorality has been revealed to her parents, and I received a message from her mom stating how I deeply hurt their family and that my behavior was very selfish. I always expected that the truth would come to light, but never really understood how to truly handle it. I take ownership for the flaws in my character, and looking back I wish I was a better person of whom God intended me to be. I deeply want to change, and I have taken steps to develop my own personal relationship with Christ by continuing to go to church, staying single in the meantime, and attending study groups.

It might seem as if I'm in damage control mode, but I have no idea how to honestly address my mistakes because it seems as if an apology is not enough. I just don't know what I can say or do to make them understand that I don't intend to be the person who I was in the past, and that I truly am sorry for taking advantage of them. A portion of me is grateful for meeting their daughter for introducing me to Christianity, but I feel disgusted with myself for not honoring her and her family when were together. How do I respond and what can I do to remove the selfishness within me?

 

[Solomons Porch]

Don't be so hard on yourself and just the fact that you are repentant is a good thing, most people these days would be like "oh well" that was my past, they can get over it. You sound very caring and in just the way you spoke from your heart here to us, that is exactly what I would do if in your shoes. Honesty is always best, to try and make excuses is no good. Just tell them how you feel and did feel and that it was a mistake and to please forgive you. I think you are taking this too hard, but, the fact that it bothers you shows you have a big heart. Much prayers for you and God bless you, welcome to CF and I pray for you to have peace and resolve in Jesus name.

 

[St_Worm2]

Hey Hospitaller, first off, WELCOME TO CF ..

That said, I agree with Solomons Porch, honesty is always the best policy, and don't make any excuses. Rather, just tell them that you know you made a bad mistake back then, one that you wish you'd never decided to make, then tell them that you're sorry and ask them to forgive you (or something along those lines).

They may choose not to, that's up to them, but if they are the Christians you've described, they should .. e.g. Matthew 18:21-22; Matthew 6:12. How they respond is not your concern however, you just need to do what you need to do, come what may.

This is never an easy thing to do, and it's definitely not fun, but it's the right thing to do and, of course, I believe that God will be pleased.

Praying for you (if you'd like to, please let us know how it all works out).

Yours and His,
David

Matthew 7
However you want people to treat you, so treat them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
.​

 

[rockytopva]

 

[HenryM]

How do I respond and what can I do to remove the selfishness within me?

Everybody sins while on earth, believers too. Only Jesus Christ was walking sinless on earth.

Why don't you ask them: "Can you forgive me?" I think that should be enough.

 

[Goatee]

Jesus came to save sinners.............

 

[tturt]

Personally would express regret because that shows more of your heart. You could basically say what you have said here - I don't know what I can say or do ....sorry that I betrayed your trust after all the time, effort, and concern your family ...Then asks for forgiveness. Yes, they'll forgive you if they're believers. Because of that though I wouldn't asks them in a half-hearted way.

Lastly, after you've asks Yahweh to forgive you, you need to forgive yourself. We can not give more weight to our sins than the goodness of Yeshua's blood sacrifice and forgiveness.

(James 5:16; Mark 12:31 note ...as yourself... Of course, that means a healthy type of love); I John 1:9; Rev 1:5; Philippines 4:8 in other words thinking about Yahweh, His faithfulness, His grace, etc )

 

[Hospitaller96]

Thank you all for the support! It means a lot to me!

 

[Cute Tink]

Welcome to CF. Glad you could join us. If you need help with something, let me know.

I hope you enjoy your time and find what you are looking for here. Thank you for sharing your story with us.