My husband and I both have Asperger's Syndrome. He is completely absent emotionally, and has been driving me into a pit of depression since day one. I can't even describe in words how lonely I am, and when I try to talk (or write, email, instant message, etc.) to him about it, he shuts down and becomes unable to speak (selective mutism). He literally does not respond, and if I bring it up again in the future, it's just a repeat of the previous experience. It's like talking to a wall, and he gives no indication at any point that he was even listening. I assume he is, but I really don't know.
Our son has autism, and he's left me to deal with all aspects of his treatment and care completely alone. He offers no emotional support what so ever, and has no clue what's going on.
I go out of my way to try to explain in great detail to him EXACTLY what I want and need from him. He nods his head as if he understands, and never ever does anything about it. So then I try a new method of explaining it, with the same response, and no follow through. At this point, I'm just starting to feel apathetic and resentful.
I just feel so abandoned and trapped in this miserable lonely marriage. I signed up for behavioral therapy, and he agreed to come with me for marriage counselling but never follows through. He see's a therapist on his own time, and I have yet to see any change in him since he started (about a year ago).
I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. I feel like I married a brick. It's completely miserable, and I feel like I'm just trapped in this nightmare until one of us eventually dies.
Sometimes I try to cope by pretending that he's there for me. I plan dates, and say things to him that I wish he would say to me. Other times I cope by withdrawing and trying to avoid him at all costs. They all lead me back to the same place of desperation. Lately I've been trying to "get a life of my own" that doesn't include him, which I guess is similar to withdrawing, but in a more social way. It's not what I really want though.
I fantasize about leaving him, but I simply can not afford to provide the care that my son requires on my own. I could never make enough money or have enough of myself to go around. We're too dependent on him. My husband knows this, and he's still not phased, and he still doesn't try.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm worried about my depression. I'm worried about living in this unhealthy situation for too long. I'm afraid I'll grow into a bitter old hag, regretting my mistakes (marrying him) for the rest of my life.
Our son has autism, and he's left me to deal with all aspects of his treatment and care completely alone. He offers no emotional support what so ever, and has no clue what's going on.
I go out of my way to try to explain in great detail to him EXACTLY what I want and need from him. He nods his head as if he understands, and never ever does anything about it. So then I try a new method of explaining it, with the same response, and no follow through. At this point, I'm just starting to feel apathetic and resentful.
I just feel so abandoned and trapped in this miserable lonely marriage. I signed up for behavioral therapy, and he agreed to come with me for marriage counselling but never follows through. He see's a therapist on his own time, and I have yet to see any change in him since he started (about a year ago).
I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. I feel like I married a brick. It's completely miserable, and I feel like I'm just trapped in this nightmare until one of us eventually dies.
Sometimes I try to cope by pretending that he's there for me. I plan dates, and say things to him that I wish he would say to me. Other times I cope by withdrawing and trying to avoid him at all costs. They all lead me back to the same place of desperation. Lately I've been trying to "get a life of my own" that doesn't include him, which I guess is similar to withdrawing, but in a more social way. It's not what I really want though.
I fantasize about leaving him, but I simply can not afford to provide the care that my son requires on my own. I could never make enough money or have enough of myself to go around. We're too dependent on him. My husband knows this, and he's still not phased, and he still doesn't try.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm worried about my depression. I'm worried about living in this unhealthy situation for too long. I'm afraid I'll grow into a bitter old hag, regretting my mistakes (marrying him) for the rest of my life.
