Article on Crosswalk.com (about Divorce)

[mkgal1]

Rhett Smith is a marriage and family therapist, and has seen his fair share of families fall apart. Even though working with couples can be incredibly rewarding and beautiful, he writes, it’s painful to watch when marriages crumble right before his eyes.

“Marriages are not exempted from the destruction of this world, even if two faithful Christians are a part of it. People who go through a divorce are not worse or less spiritual than any of us. We have all entered into relationships and decisions that have fallen apart and destroyed the lives of people around us.

In many ways, the falling apart of a marriage is a reminder not of some judgment we need to place on that couple or person, but rather of the brokenness we find in our humanity together and the grace of God to bring new life out of it.”

“Just because you are not divorced does not mean that your marriage is glorifying to God. Don’t just co-exist in a poisonous, unhealthy, potentially dangerous marriage for the sake of not divorcing. What God desires is that you thrive in marriage that is glorifying to Him. Take the steps to do that by reaching out for help.”

The whole article is here: 3 Misconceptions Christians Have About Divorce - Trending Christian Blog

Thoughts?

 

[DZoolander]

Well, like most things, Christians and non-Christians alike are prone to putting more weight on the superficial appearance of things than the actual substance behind it. With that in mind - I agree with him. Simply not divorcing, yet remaining in a crappy situation, isn't really testament to anything and sure isn't a feather in anyone's cap.

 

[mkgal1]

I completely agree with you on all of that.

 

[Autumnleaf]

The mind can make Hell out of Heaven or a Heaven out of Hell.

 

[Angeldove97]

Just wanted to post this... as you comment in your posts, please remember our SOP for this forum says:

Divorce is not to be promoted in this forum except in cases where individuals are in physical danger. Those who are contemplating divorce due to extenuating circumstances may be able to find support in the recovery forums.

Thank you

 

[mkgal1]

I hadn't put "about divorce" in the title of this thread. I wouldn't even say it's an article "about divorce" but more "about marriage" --specifically the kind of marriage that glorifies God (because not all do.....in my opinion and apparently in the opinion of that author). We ought to do what we can to achieve that....(a God-honoring marriage).

I also think it's a helpful reminder for us to not be judgmental of our friends (brothers and sisters in Christ) that have gone through divorce.

 

[DZoolander]

I agree. The point of view I saw being expressed wasn't so much about divorce, but rather making the important point that simply remaining married isn't itself enough (and isn't intrinsically better than getting divorced).

 

[Inkachu]

I think the article is a little too soft on the issue of divorce among Christians.

 

[mkgal1]

Exactly....that's why I quoted what I did from the article....mainly these points:

In many ways, the falling apart of a marriage is a reminder not of some judgment we need to place on that couple or person, but rather of the brokenness we find in our humanity together and the grace of God to bring new life out of it.”

Don’t just co-exist in a poisonous, unhealthy, potentially dangerous marriage for the sake of not divorcing. What God desires is that you thrive in marriage that is glorifying to Him. Take the steps to do that by reaching out for help.

 

[LinkH]

“Just because you are not divorced does not mean that your marriage is glorifying to God. Don’t just co-exist in a poisonous, unhealthy, potentially dangerous marriage for the sake of not divorcing. What God desires is that you thrive in marriage that is glorifying to Him. Take the steps to do that by reaching out for help.”

[Bold emphasis mine]

I see this kind of terminology on here sometimes, and here it in real life.

Your marriage has X, Y, and Z problems, and therefore it is not glorifying to God. Sometimes, those statements seem rather presumptuous to me.

Tradition says Peter died by being crucified upside down. Toward the end of John, we read that Jesus told Peter that when he was old, he would stretch out his hands and another would lead him to a place where he did not want to go. John comments that Jesus spoke of the death by which Peter would glorify God.

If tradition is correct, Peter was crucified upside down. He had nails put in his hands or wrists and feet. He bled and suffered, physically, as he died.

But the Bible tells us that his death glorified God.

This passage from II Peter 2 addresses the problem of Christian slaves being beaten by harsh masters,

20 For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.

Notice it refers to 'glory.' There was no glory in a servant being beaten for doing what is wrong. But suffering for well-doing is acceptable to God.

I wouldn't say the Roman master, the pagan, who wrongly beat the Christian servant for his faith was behaving in a way that glorified God. But the servant who bore up under it and took it well did. And I believe God will reward such people on the day of judgement.

The Roman world was a harsh place, and fortunately, most of us don't suffer that intensely in our marriages. Occasionally, someone here posts about a cheating spouse or an emotional affair. But we also get posts from people spouses who argue, spouses who spend too much money, or talk down to them.

If someone is in a marriage with problems, I think we need to be very careful about telling that person that their marriage isn't glorifying to God. One spouse may be difficult, even in sin. But the other may be glorifying God by presenting Christ in a difficult situation. I don't want to be caught telling someone who tries to walk with Christ that they aren't glorifying God because they are in a marriage that has a lot of problems.

 

[mkgal1]

The article is addressing the false piety that surrounds the idea of "merely being married glorifies God". IMO....that's a superficial attitude (and it can lead to a judgmental attitude as well).

It's "looking on the external" and drawing conclusions.

 

[mkgal1]

Your marriage has X, Y, and Z problems, and therefore it is not glorifying to God

It's not the existence of issues that isn't glorifying to God----it's when a couple ignores those issues while at the same time have the attitude that is close to that of the Pharisees, "Lord....thank you I'm not like *those* people over there". Pride is never a way to glorify God.

 

[Susie~Q]

Interesting article. I feel like a failure because of my marital issues, I do not see how this marriage can be glorifying to God at all. That is all I will say, I could write a book, but it would not do any good.

 

[mkgal1]

Susie---it takes TWO people committed to the same goals for a marriage to "work". You aren't a failure