- Feb 10, 2004
- 4,752
- 260
- 49
- Faith
- Baptist
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
I just got the dreaded "...you are a great guy and all, but ......." speach!!!!!I am starting to think that I am destined to be single the rest of my life.!!!!!!
-
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
-
CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
arrgggggh
- Thread starter Tenorvoice
- Start date
I just got the dreaded "...you are a great guy and all, but ......." speach!!!!!I am starting to think that I am destined to be single the rest of my life.!!!!!!
Take heart, young grasshopper...the field is large and green.
(But, man, I hate that speech, too!) lol...
(But, man, I hate that speech, too!) lol...
Upvote
0
jenn82
<img src="http://www3.christianforums.com/images/s
- Feb 16, 2005
- 1,833
- 108
- 43
- Faith
- Pentecostal
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Republican
I'm sorry......I do have to say I have given that speech though and it has ended up being better for both of us in the end. I know there is really no good way to say it or that is what I have been told. No matter how much it hurts, if it does keep praying!
Upvote
0
BeautyForAshes
Senior Veteran
Ok, yall - group hug for Tenorvoice
Some folks just don't recognize a good thing when its staring at them in the face (with flowers, no less).
Well, the only thing I can say is just look at the blessing of it ending now, as opposed to later on - after much emotional bonding/attachment had occurred.
I'm praying that the holy spirit surrounds you with peace and understanding about this. In the name of Jesus...Amen
Some folks just don't recognize a good thing when its staring at them in the face (with flowers, no less).
Well, the only thing I can say is just look at the blessing of it ending now, as opposed to later on - after much emotional bonding/attachment had occurred.
I'm praying that the holy spirit surrounds you with peace and understanding about this.
In the name of Jesus...Amen
Upvote
0
joeman1
Legend
- Jul 1, 2004
- 12,006
- 389
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Republican
lol thats funny wildthing...I hate the lets just be friends thing its the worse thing that you can ever go through....To be honest that is the only thing I have had...It cuts like a knife but if I can make it through this so can you. We just have to trust the Lord that in his right time He will bring aobut the right woman. Thats all that we can do for now.
Upvote
0
easy solution .. do better likfe paul says. don't get married.. forget about the opposite sex... more time for God... it works!!!!!
Upvote
0
Living4Him03
Just wanna dance with you
I'm sorry Tenor! That's no good. You seem like the kind of guy a girl would want to date, but you never know. Maybe she just doesn't have feelings yet for you...sometimes they take time to develop. Hang in there! Your gal will come along
Upvote
0
- Feb 10, 2004
- 4,752
- 260
- 49
- Faith
- Baptist
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
The sad part about it is that after you have heard the same speach over and over again, and been hurt too manytimes to count, the scars that are inbedded into your heart take a LONG time to even begin to feel anything again. (not that I had any "feelings" for this last one, we had only gone out twice, I was just starting to get interested pretty good tho').
Coming from a background of being the "slow, fat" kid in school and being made fun of for almost 20+ years, yes it still hurts to have these things happen to me. But the scars are the things that hurt the most to me right now.
It just seems like to me that everytime that I start to let my "gaurd" down and really get to know someone I end up getting emotionally hurt, and this drives me into a deep depression for months. I don't belive that it will happen this time tho'.
So instead tonight I just went over a good friends house, and just spent time with them. Where I know that I am accepted for who I am.
God Bless to everyone that is praying for me
Phileo, In Christ Jesus
Scott (tenor)
Coming from a background of being the "slow, fat" kid in school and being made fun of for almost 20+ years, yes it still hurts to have these things happen to me. But the scars are the things that hurt the most to me right now.
It just seems like to me that everytime that I start to let my "gaurd" down and really get to know someone I end up getting emotionally hurt, and this drives me into a deep depression for months. I don't belive that it will happen this time tho'.
So instead tonight I just went over a good friends house, and just spent time with them. Where I know that I am accepted for who I am.
God Bless to everyone that is praying for me
Phileo, In Christ Jesus
Scott (tenor)
Upvote
0
bogie
Senior Member
- Dec 19, 2004
- 15,165
- 55
- 43
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
- Politics
- US-Republican
Hey man I know that has to hurt, but now is the time to start trusting the Lord instead of taking things into our hands and penciling in our own agendas for our life. Hang in there, because I believe the Lord is totally going to cross your paths with a beautiful woman.
Your bro in Christ,
Bogie
Your bro in Christ,
Bogie
Upvote
0
Nico
Well-Known Member
- Nov 29, 2003
- 925
- 53
- 47
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Politics
- US-Democrat
Tenorvoice said:
yes, this is the best thing to do in that scenario. surround yourself with love.
i tell you though, every time it doesn't work out with a guy that i like (and even the ones where we get involved and i could see myself marrying them), while on one level i wish it could have worked out, i always knew that it wasn't "right". and sometimes i think i would have put in the effort to make something work with a man that wasn't right, so in the end, i'm glad God took that person away from me, b/c i know that a much better match for me will come along.
and even coming from a liberal feminist, you're not one to let get away, so i'm sure God has a woman in mind for you that will blow your mind. and thankfully, He's not letting you get in the way of that....
Upvote
0
lunalinda
Random. Raw. Real
- Aug 18, 2003
- 1,727
- 186
- 44
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
Oyyy, yeah, I'd hate to give that speech to anyone. Sorry you had to hear it. Thankfully I never had to give the dreaded speech (it certainly wouldn't be easy to SAY either I'm sure), but that might POSSIBLY change in the future. Who knows. I guess that's why I try to forewarn the guy's I'm fond of as people way ahead of time of my own personal fears, insecurities, uncertainties, etc. That way they're at least aware. What I mean is, I continually pound it into their heads (well not LITERALLY) that I'm all for being friends and all, but that will NEVER guarantee anything more. I guess it's just my way of saying "enter even a friendship with me at your own risk, especially if you intend to, despite my warnings, develop something more with me." I'm sure this still won't faze some guys in the least, but I guess I still want to be as honest as possible so they can't attack me for anything. If a girl doesn't have romantic feelings for a guy, then that's just the way it is. And believe me, the pain would be more severe if she pretended to want you even if she really doesn't.
Cuz one speech that can be just as painful is the "I love you, but..." speech. *groan*
Thankfully I never had to give the dreaded speech (it certainly wouldn't be easy to SAY either I'm sure), but that might POSSIBLY change in the future. Who knows. I guess that's why I try to forewarn the guy's I'm fond of as people way ahead of time of my own personal fears, insecurities, uncertainties, etc. That way they're at least aware. What I mean is, I continually pound it into their heads (well not LITERALLY) that I'm all for being friends and all, but that will NEVER guarantee anything more. I guess it's just my way of saying "enter even a friendship with me at your own risk, especially if you intend to, despite my warnings, develop something more with me." I'm sure this still won't faze some guys in the least, but I guess I still want to be as honest as possible so they can't attack me for anything. If a girl doesn't have romantic feelings for a guy, then that's just the way it is. And believe me, the pain would be more severe if she pretended to want you even if she really doesn't. Cuz one speech that can be just as painful is the "I love you, but..." speech. *groan*
Upvote
0
Living4Him03
Just wanna dance with you
Yep, my friend Lacie and I have spent many nights with some ice cream and a pizza and her cute puppy dogs coping with the hurt guys have put us through. It's always nice to have a good friend you can talk with about this kind of thing.
Upvote
0
- Feb 10, 2004
- 4,752
- 260
- 49
- Faith
- Baptist
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
Thanks to everyone here that has given me support in the past. I truely appriciate it.
The only stickler to the situatio is that for MONTHS now there has been this one very dear to me heart young lady (8 years younger) that has grown VERY dear to my heart and I have expressed this to many of you and multipull times to the Lord in prayer. I have asked Him multipull time to PLEASE take these "feelings" away from me, that I only wnat to veiw my sisters in Christ as just that for now. And go figure she is the ONLY one that is ALWAYS on my mind. I constentally think about her, pray for her, and truely feel a connection with her. ( and I belive that she feels the same connection too). We actually started to see eachother some a few months back, but we mutually called things off, since we both felt that the timing was not quite right @ that moment, she was still desiding what she wanted to study in school, and I had told her from the begining that to me, her education was more important that us starting a relationship and if that was going to get in the way of her studies than I would be willing to wait.
The kicker is that I "feel" closer to her everyday of my life. I belive that the connection is getting stronger, and I am fighting it kicking and screaming. I don not want to interfere with her nursing school education. But, I also feel that the urge to let her mom know (since I am close to her too), how much I care for her daughter, and how much I think about her.
This is really starting to drive me crazy. I truely feel that is dear young lady is not someone that I "could live with" but, someone that I cannot live without in my life. I do know know why I feel this way, other than the Lord is leading me to her. But it is also hard to deside if it is my own desires that want this or if it is God's will.
So please pray that I will have the guidence that I need to make it through this.
(this me also be why the dates with the last young lady did not work out, in my mind anyways).
Thanks again ya'll
Phileo, In Christ Jesus
Tenor (scott)
The only stickler to the situatio is that for MONTHS now there has been this one very dear to me heart young lady (8 years younger) that has grown VERY dear to my heart and I have expressed this to many of you and multipull times to the Lord in prayer. I have asked Him multipull time to PLEASE take these "feelings" away from me, that I only wnat to veiw my sisters in Christ as just that for now. And go figure she is the ONLY one that is ALWAYS on my mind. I constentally think about her, pray for her, and truely feel a connection with her. ( and I belive that she feels the same connection too). We actually started to see eachother some a few months back, but we mutually called things off, since we both felt that the timing was not quite right @ that moment, she was still desiding what she wanted to study in school, and I had told her from the begining that to me, her education was more important that us starting a relationship and if that was going to get in the way of her studies than I would be willing to wait.
The kicker is that I "feel" closer to her everyday of my life. I belive that the connection is getting stronger, and I am fighting it kicking and screaming. I don not want to interfere with her nursing school education. But, I also feel that the urge to let her mom know (since I am close to her too), how much I care for her daughter, and how much I think about her.
This is really starting to drive me crazy. I truely feel that is dear young lady is not someone that I "could live with" but, someone that I cannot live without in my life. I do know know why I feel this way, other than the Lord is leading me to her. But it is also hard to deside if it is my own desires that want this or if it is God's will.
So please pray that I will have the guidence that I need to make it through this.
(this me also be why the dates with the last young lady did not work out, in my mind anyways).
Thanks again ya'll
Phileo, In Christ Jesus
Tenor (scott)
Upvote
0
JPPT1974
SB LX, Valentine's, Winter Olympics 2026
- Mar 18, 2004
- 291,596
- 11,559
- 51
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Baptist
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- CA-Conservatives
I have a lot of Sunday School Friends that we have fellowship as well as friendship when our week is gone and it seems to be our only "hide-a-way" as well as lean on each other for support.
Upvote
0
Similar threads
