Argh!

[ido]

Per the suggestion made in this thread, I am creating a new thread for all of us to have a place to vent. Please be respectful when venting - and please respect the vents of others.

&

 

[5kidsdad]

SWEET! LOL!!! Great idea FNG...

5kd

 

[5kidsdad]

AAAAAARRRRRGHGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! Why would my STBX just assume that I am OK with her request for me to stay on the mortgage of the house for a few years? She wants the house, then she doesn't, then she does. Then, she wants me to stay on the mortgage so she can stay there, while she doesn't work. My question...if I wasn't good enough for her as a husband, and she didn't want me around, why should I help her now...she only wants my help when it benefits her. It is time for her to learn to live her life without the benefit of me...I can't even believe she had the audacity to ask...what a twit...AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

5kd

 

[iambren]

AAAAAARRRRRGHGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! Why would my STBX just assume that I am OK with her request for me to stay on the mortgage of the house for a few years? She wants the house, then she doesn't, then she does. Then, she wants me to stay on the mortgage so she can stay there, while she doesn't work. My question...if I wasn't good enough for her as a husband, and she didn't want me around, why should I help her now...she only wants my help when it benefits her. It is time for her to learn to live her life without the benefit of me...I can't even believe she had the audacity to ask...what a twit...AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

5kd

Actually I designed my disolution with my name KEPT on the mortgage. We agreed to split the equity when kids grown (or earlier if we agree), I take the interest deduction, she couldn't buy me out, and with the housing market so bad I wouldn't want to sell it now anyway.
I pray peace for you brother. No doubt from all you've said she has hurt you but your anger binds you to her until you ultimately forgive her. I feel your pain,just hope you don't have a long transition. I too have my own hells.

 

[Million Pieces]

HE LIED TO ME!! HE BLOODY STOOD THERE AND LOOKED ME IN THE FACE AND LIED TO ME ABOUT SLEEPING WITH HER!!

That is IT. He's out of my house tomorrow. I am SICK AND FREAKING TIRED OF BEING LIED TO. I don't need to be mean, but I need to stand up for my dignity. I'm done with being the good girl and keeping his secrets.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

why does it take so long for over to really be over?

 

[AirForceTeacher]

AAAAAARRRRRGHGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! Why would my STBX just assume that I am OK with her request for me to stay on the mortgage of the house for a few years? She wants the house, then she doesn't, then she does. Then, she wants me to stay on the mortgage so she can stay there, while she doesn't work. My question...if I wasn't good enough for her as a husband, and she didn't want me around, why should I help her now...she only wants my help when it benefits her. It is time for her to learn to live her life without the benefit of me...I can't even believe she had the audacity to ask...what a twit...AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

5kd

sigh ... you are not the only person askign that question. I keep telling her "you get a boyfriend or a husband, not both. pick one so I know how to act."

 

[dayknee]

HE LIED TO ME!! HE BLOODY STOOD THERE AND LOOKED ME IN THE FACE AND LIED TO ME ABOUT SLEEPING WITH HER!!

That is IT. He's out of my house tomorrow. I am SICK AND FREAKING TIRED OF BEING LIED TO. I don't need to be mean, but I need to stand up for my dignity. I'm done with being the good girl and keeping his secrets.

Oh no!..I am so so so sorry..
How did you find out? Are you sure?

<sighs> This is horrible and Im so sorry.
I know how hard and how painful this all is. And I am so sorry.
I pray that you are able to be a light that shines in this situation and that you make the stand to not allow yourself or this stuff to happen to you. I pray for your husband as well in that he really needs the Lord right now because he has been walking without him. I am going to pray that you stay strong and can feel the love of God and what he has in store for you.

Im very sorry this is happening.

 

[dayknee]

<groans>

So apparently estranged husband told our son that he was coming up yesterday. I did not know this. Then he calls our son and tells him he cant. This is not the first time. I wish he would make more time for his children. He only comes up once a week and my son misses him. So of course my son is upset and unhappy. Then my estranged husband wants to talk to me. I get on the phone and he starts yellng how no one understands him and how all I can do when I talk to him is say "ah ah..uh huh..yeah.."..right there..I hung up..I am SICK of being yelled at and berated for things that I cannot control. He calls back an hour later and wants to know why I hung up. I told him I am not going to be yelled at anymore and that I am NOT going ot be put inthe middle of his and his sons situation. I cannot do anything about the fact that you are once again, not coming. I cannot make the hurt better for my son either. I am just tired of him yelling at me when the kids get upset becasue he isnt coming up to see them. jflsdjfsdajf;j;sdafj;lsdajf;lsdja;lfjesa

 

[Autumnleaf]

Sometimes I wish my wife would cheat so I could go and not look back. They key is to quit on them or not. If you give up you move on. If you don't you don't.

For what its worth.

 

[Million Pieces]

I'm still in his email, and I saw an email she sent him referring to them making love.

I'm done. I'm freaking DONE.

 

[FaithfulWife]

Million Pieces- PM'ing ya I'm so sorry.

Here's my AARRGGHH for the day: my dear hubby's ex drives me INSANE--I'm BALD from how entitled this woman is!! She told our son she would get him tickets to a concert, so he saved and saved and saved so he'd have some money to spend. It was going to be the ex, dear hubby and her son, and our son. He was going to be at the concert so we made plans to go see dear hubby's mom for her birthday for dinner. NOW she hasn't bought the tickets and doesn't want to go and she's whining, "Why don't you give up the stupid dinner to take your son to this concert? I'll pay for your tickets".

THAT WOULD BE BECAUSE IT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. You promised it--either follow through on your promise or YOU deal with the disappointment and anger! NOT me! Oh no! It is not my fault, I did not put you in this spot, and I am not covering for your complete failure as a parent and decent human being!

/argh

Thank you!

 

[dayknee]

I'm still in his email, and I saw an email she sent him referring to them making love.

I'm done. I'm freaking DONE.

I am so sorry I am really so sorry.

I know how much this has to hurt. I've been there and I know how it feels to be lied to and betrade. Im hurting for you and Im praying for you.

I wish there was something I could do.

 

[5kidsdad]

MP...I am so sorry. I was away from the house, and found out about my STBX cheating...I felt betrayed, hurt, destroyed...you name ot. I can only imagine the hurt you must feel while still there. I know what it is like to be lied to. You present the evidence, undeniable evidence, and still they lie to you. It infuriates you, but please remember this one thing...they are the ones who have to answer to God for the decision that they have made in their life. True forgiveness, and repentence, involves the person who has committed the sin to take responsibility for what they have done, and then to approach the person they have wronged, and seek forgiveness from them. Who knows when that time will be in our cases. I know that it still irritates me to this day...her defiance to me and against God. I have made the decision for me that I will do what I must to be right in the sight of God. I will not push the issue any longer. Those who are the molst improtant to me know the truth. If she and her family choose to deny the truth, then so be it. I am held accountable for myself and my children before God. Do I want to be vindicated? YES! In the Bible, how many years, and how much garbage did Joseph and Job go through before they were restored by God, and the true reasoning and reward of their faithfulness to God was given them? If you, me, or anyone will truly seek His help and peace, He will walk with us, giving us the ability to handle what might come our way, and help to deal with whatever feelings we might have. My favorite scripture is Deut. 31:6..."Be strong, and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them, for the Lord thy God, He it is that doth go with thee, He will not fail thee, nor forsake thee."

God Bless, and I am praying for you all,

5kd

 

[Million Pieces]

oh man, I didn't mean to take over the thread. I'm gonna start a new thread about tonights events, cause things really went over the top tonight. And I mean REALLY over the top, and it sure doesnt' belong here.

Thanks everyone, more than I can tell you, for the depth of your support and encouragement. I only wish I could be half the strength for you, my friends, in your journies.

 

[catlover]

<groans>

So apparently estranged husband told our son that he was coming up yesterday. I did not know this. Then he calls our son and tells him he cant. This is not the first time. I wish he would make more time for his children. He only comes up once a week and my son misses him. So of course my son is upset and unhappy. Then my estranged husband wants to talk to me. I get on the phone and he starts yellng how no one understands him and how all I can do when I talk to him is say "ah ah..uh huh..yeah.."..right there..I hung up..I am SICK of being yelled at and berated for things that I cannot control. He calls back an hour later and wants to know why I hung up. I told him I am not going to be yelled at anymore and that I am NOT going ot be put inthe middle of his and his sons situation. I cannot do anything about the fact that you are once again, not coming. I cannot make the hurt better for my son either. I am just tired of him yelling at me when the kids get upset becasue he isnt coming up to see them. jflsdjfsdajf;j;sdafj;lsdajf;lsdja;lfjesa

Yep-it's all about THEM the ex's...mine is a wine bag too. Mine cries he is so poor trying to get $$$ out of me...he didn't leave the house his life has not changed. The children's lives have changed dramatically-but all my ex can think about is himself..he's a baby.

 

[dayknee]

Yep-it's all about THEM the ex's...mine is a wine bag too. Mine cries he is so poor trying to get $$$ out of me...he didn't leave the house his life has not changed. The children's lives have changed dramatically-but all my ex can think about is himself..he's a baby.

It getst to be so ridiculous and so painful..and I get so tired of being thrown in the middle. It feels like when the kids are upset or frustrated at him he has to call me and be angry about it or complain about it. Like there is something I should be doing to make it better for him..He hasnt made ANYTHING better for me in the last two years of the seperation..pchh..w/e..
I don't even care anymore..Im divorcing him.

 

[5kidsdad]

My question to my ARRRGGHHH....if our spouses didn't want us around anymore, and want us gone, then why should we bend over backwards for them? By the time I get done paying support, over half my pay is gone, and I am supposed to try and get myself a place, and provide for my kids a home where they can come and be with me. Not a fancy place, a decent place where we will probably have a lot of beanbag chairs...the 5 kids think that is sooo cool, BTW. When do we finally say enough is enough, and just walk away, not being rude, but firm? Why should I agree to be on the mortgage with her for a few years? She had no ability to pay it before, she won't be able to now, but wants the house. She also wants me to help her take care of it...what??? I won't even go in the front door anymore. Learn to live without me, and learn how to do what you want to yourself. That is what you wanted when you started messing around with the other guy...why should I help? I want the kids to be taken care of...reckon that is why they want to live with me all the time, huh? Sorry...just venting...can't believe she still has the gaul to want all of this. Live your life, and don't hurt my kids in the process...sheeesh! Leave me the heck alone!!!

Sorry,

5kd

 

[MyKidsDaddy]

MP, I feel so sad for you at this time.

I think (thought) all I wanted was the truth. Tell me the truth and let me deal with it. I too hate being lied to. I've caught my wife in so many lies that I'm not sure I can handle any more. I find out that she makes comments about how she is separated and things HAD TO CHANGE because I was so controlling. She has never, never, never told me one thing that I did that was controlling. She has been using the "He's Controlling" excuse to justify all her actions. I wish she would realize that our two youngest, who live with me, have not once asked to go see her at her apartment since she moved out. How can she even think she's being a good mother when she makes so little effort to see them on her days off. She's been off work both Friday and Saturday night...but did she ask to come get the boys.....oh no....that would interfere with her Saturday night out on the town. a;ljfasl;jfa;sljfasl;kjfal;skjfasl;j a;lf

 

[5kidsdad]

MP, I feel so sad for you at this time.

I think (thought) all I wanted was the truth. Tell me the truth and let me deal with it. I too hate being lied to. I've caught my wife in so many lies that I'm not sure I can handle any more. I find out that she makes comments about how she is separated and things HAD TO CHANGE because I was so controlling. She has never, never, never told me one thing that I did that was controlling. She has been using the "He's Controlling" excuse to justify all her actions. I wish she would realize that our two youngest, who live with me, have not once asked to go see her at her apartment since she moved out. How can she even think she's being a good mother when she makes so little effort to see them on her days off. She's been off work both Friday and Saturday night...but did she ask to come get the boys.....oh no....that would interfere with her Saturday night out on the town. a;ljfasl;jfa;sljfasl;kjfal;skjfasl;j a;lf

Man, with a few exceptions, sounds like similaar situation to mine. All I wanted was the truth...she has no plans to tell mee the truth. It would mean closure for me, butn she doesn't care. I never realized just how selfish she really was. Lying, man...good thing God is gracious now...she would have been struck dead. She has the kids, I had to leave. I was too controlling, too. (In her view.) Things had to change...when pressed for examples, I had the kids in bed by a certain time...sheesh, they are little, and need structure so they get enough rest for school. I live away from them, so I don't get to spend quality time wih them during the week, so I try to make up for it on the weekends I have them. She is handcuffing herself to an expensive house payment, going to school fulltime, and going to have to work a part time job, probably weekends. Her mom already keeps them until after 8 PM most nights during the week...who is going to raise them if she works? won't be her. I know she thinks this education is so important, guess what, so is raising your kids, and being there for them. All because she had to get involved with some other guy...man Oh man. When did spouses, both genders, loose their minds? Just curious...I feel for you MKD, at least you have those precious minds with you, and can influence them.

God Bless,

5kd