Argh!!!!

[chi_rho]

Gosh im so frustrated, my mother has been a smoker since she was 13, she is now 51 and is recovering from serious stomach cancer, in which all her specialists say was caused from her smoking (dont know how they know for sure) and are amazed that she survived it, but anyway shes out of hospital and in chronic day to day pain, cant even sleep in bed because it hurts to much, yet she still smokes!!
the most annoying part is that she smokes in the house, around me and the rest of my family members, even my one year old neice who severe asthmatic lol
Is she crazy??? or does she not have any consideration for anyone else?
we all ask her if she would mind stading at the door or go into one room, but she tells use to shut the f*%k up and she has every right because its her house lol
i cant understand how a mother and a cancer patient can be so ridiculous, i want to know is this the smoking addiction talking or is it just my rude cold mother?
Trying not to be rude but do anyother ppl addicted to cigarettes act like this?
cheers

 

[Evie1980]

Not everyone with an addiction acts like this but assictions are different for everyone. For example I could control my addiction up to about 3 days if I had to yet could not totally quit. Addictions are different for everyone.

I think the scary part for your mum (and I am really only saying this as I were in here position) is that although she knows her addiction is killing her she has no idea how to live her life without it. let me give you an example - say you like to eat vegemite. I love vegemite on toast for brekky but instead of just having it for brekky you have it for morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner and desert. In fact you may even have it more times than that. Year in, year out, you have eaten vegemite. It is so much part of your life that when you go to the shop you buy 2 or 3 jars just to make sure you have enough. It doesn't matter the price, you would walk through a hurricane just to get one. So much has happened in your life but it doesn't matter because you have vegemite. Then one day some one says to you that you are dying. Not only are you dying but you are dying because you ate vegemite. Not only that you have to have major surgery and quit eating vegemite. Now logic tells you that if you make it through surgery you could easily quit eating vegemite but unfortunately not so. How do you break a habit of years in the making. It is not a light switch that you turn on and off but a fundamental part of your daily life. What are you going to have for breakfast instead? and if you make it through breakfast you still have morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner, and desert to worry about. That is scary.

Back to your mum and her addiction - you have to understand that this is a problem with no easy solution. For many people it takes a long time and many unsuccessful attempts before they finally make it there. Be supportive. She is facing many difficulties. Keep trying to talk to her - not about smoking so much as her health in general. Ask her what she thinks and feels and be compassionate enough to realise that she is most probably very scared about what her future holds.

I hope this helps. Evie