argh

[meh]

I thought I was recovered from bulimia.

I was sitting on my bed today and happened to glance over and catch sight of myself in my closet mirror. I just....ugh. This is why I still try not to look in full-length mirrors.

I don't know why it hit so hard today, but I've been fighting the urge to purge my dinner and I'm so afraid I'll slip and then start in with the whole thing all over again. It's just the same old disorder thinking and wanting control in any way. I know bulimia leads to nothing but being out of control. But I'm just struggling hard tonight to stay strong.

I don't know why I posted. I guess because I knew people here would understand. Please say a prayer for me to stay strong and not slip.

 

[goldenviolet]

prayers sweetheart. you are right, run to things like walking, music, prayer, etc. don't get trapped in the cycle. bless you!!

 

[bumblebee62331]

meh

Sometimes our problems can creep up on us when we least expect it. Once you have started recovery, it's not simple, not for years and years and even then it's still hard. Once in a while, you will have to consciously make sure you don't purge, or that you eat, or that you don't hurt yourself. It's horrible and it's hard, but if you let yourself slip, it will be much harder.

First of all, remind yourself that recovering is a huge thing - think of how much you have already achieved! Think of how it feels to know that you are healthier and happier now that you have walked away from bulemia!

Use your control to not purge. People often ask me, what takes more control - to purge or not to purge? To eat or not to eat? OF COURSE it takes more control to not purge! It takes more control to eat! You are triumphing if you can make sure that your body does the right thing, especially when it just wants to go in the opposite direction!

So pray, meh, pray so hard about it and keep reaffirming that this is what you want - RECOVERY! Don't give in to those thoughts or those voices, don't be fooled by them. They left you alone because you were doing so well with recovery, but they need one last dig at you to try to get you to fall back - don't give them the satisfaction! You are so much stronger than this. Continue on your path to recovery with your head held high and a smile on your face.

You have already achieved so much and you are an inspiration to those of us who are just starting out on our paths to recovery.

I will be praying for you.

 

[meh]

Thank you both Your words mean a lot to me. I have managed to stay strong Praise our Lord.

 

[bumblebee62331]

Thank you both Your words mean a lot to me. I have managed to stay strong Praise our Lord.

That is wonderful news! If you ever feel this way again, please post in here so we can try to support you and keep you safe! It's not worth it!

 

[PureGrace]

So glad to hear you made it through

I'll continue to keep you in my prayers, that the Lord will protect you from the temptation.

 

[Daysoni]

Bookworm, Solrry to hear of your struggels. I pray that you can remain strong and keep the right and healthy control that you need. If you fall know big deal. God doesn't keep a tab of our slips. Just dust off reach out and get up. You can make it.

 

[inHisgripkim]

I thought I was recovered from bulimia.

I was sitting on my bed today and happened to glance over and catch sight of myself in my closet mirror. I just....ugh. This is why I still try not to look in full-length mirrors.

I don't know why it hit so hard today, but I've been fighting the urge to purge my dinner and I'm so afraid I'll slip and then start in with the whole thing all over again. It's just the same old disorder thinking and wanting control in any way. I know bulimia leads to nothing but being out of control. But I'm just struggling hard tonight to stay strong.

I don't know why I posted. I guess because I knew people here would understand. Please say a prayer for me to stay strong and not slip.

Meh:

I don't ever look at myself in a full length mirror. If I'm clothed, I can. But not in my birthday suit because the mirror magnifies and is not a true representation of what we look like. Remember that. The mirror does not give a perfect image. It is distorted. Don't let that mirror fool you. Focus on body health and stay away from that body image. Meh, also go to the new thread in ed titled "ways to love your body." You might like it and benefit from it.

Praying for you,
InHisgripkim

 

[madison1101]

I understand your feelings at this time. I have been struggling with a lot of self-loathing and did relapse a few days ago with binge and purge. Hadn't done the latter in a very long time.

Recovery is one day, one minute sometimes, at a time. I am struggling to accept the bad with the good.

Keep taking one step at a time. Remember no matter how you feel, God sees you as beautiful and you are His beloved.

Hugs,
Trish