Does the bible say anything on relationships if you aren't married. Like rules or whatever or something else idk. Oh yeah and what is the difference between having a relationship arent they the same thing? Other than that marriage sucks idk my opinion I guess idk. I say idk alot I've noticed lol. Kinda just free styling it. Should prolly think more then again it is 1.3am
-
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
Are relationships bad?
- Thread starter Dr.J0sh
- Start date
com7fy8
Well-Known Member
- May 22, 2013
- 14,744
- 6,642
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
Good morning, Doc 
I just got out of bed, had some nice sleep.
Our Apostle Paul says,
"For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that." (1 Corinthians 7:7)
Here, Paul is talking about how he would love to have all people be unmarried so they can totally devote to God and not be distracted with pleasing a husband or wife.
But, even so, Paul understands that marriage in Christ is God's "gift". What is so good about marriage? Marriage in Jesus is a research laboratory where you can make breakthrough discoveries in how to love another person, in a very close relationship and involvement. And then you can use all you have gained to love other people, also, plus help celibates to learn how to love personally, and help other married couples and ones on their way to marriage.
So, marriage is not only for sex and reproduction. All God's gifts are for helping us to get with God in His own love and share intimately with Him and to love any and all people. And this includes obeying God . . . how He rules us in His own peace > Colossians 3:15.
So, it is wrong to just use sex to get pleasure. Sex is not love, and sex does not love us. We need to invest first in seeking God for Himself and discovering how He has us loving any and all people, not only loving some one or two or so people who we can use for what we want.
The relationship that is good is to get with a person who helps you get real with God, get His correction (Hebrews 12:4-11), and helps you to love any and all people so we are compatible with Jesus our Groom, so we can spend eternity with Him and each other.
So, if you are mainly or only busy with using someone to help you get pleasure, this is missing out on real love. So, "relationships" without marriage are not only a moral issue, but we can miss out on real love.
Also, in Jesus we do things as family. So, there is no sneaking around. If we discover someone to marry, we love our family in Jesus and want to share our relationship with our family; so we get pronounced and receive the help of more mature married people.
But, Doc, I also understand that Paul is saying that certain people can be couples without having sex, and so they might not get married >
1 Corinthians 7:36-38.
This is what I call a Christian celibate covenant committed couple. Possibly the man and his lady do each other so much good, that they stay with each other, discovering how God's love so satisfies them more than sexual pleasure comes close to doing. And God's love gives them His almighty self-control so it is easy. And they are helping each other to minister to other people. So, this is an all-loving thing.
I can do a lot by myself, but God has my lady friend as part of my love supply, helping me to love any and all people and to share in ministry to help people. He has it, that I need her to minister love to me, to keep me alive for all-loving, not only with her. Jesus is "life-giving" > see 1 Corinthians 15:45 > and I am connected with her spiritually so Jesus in her can give me life of His love, along with how other people of Jesus can feed me, like this. So, we need to relate with and share with people who God uses to make us alive in all-loving love, and not only alive in pleasure.
I just got out of bed, had some nice sleep.Our Apostle Paul says,
"For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that." (1 Corinthians 7:7)
Here, Paul is talking about how he would love to have all people be unmarried so they can totally devote to God and not be distracted with pleasing a husband or wife.
But, even so, Paul understands that marriage in Christ is God's "gift". What is so good about marriage? Marriage in Jesus is a research laboratory where you can make breakthrough discoveries in how to love another person, in a very close relationship and involvement. And then you can use all you have gained to love other people, also, plus help celibates to learn how to love personally, and help other married couples and ones on their way to marriage.
So, marriage is not only for sex and reproduction. All God's gifts are for helping us to get with God in His own love and share intimately with Him and to love any and all people. And this includes obeying God . . . how He rules us in His own peace > Colossians 3:15.
So, it is wrong to just use sex to get pleasure. Sex is not love, and sex does not love us. We need to invest first in seeking God for Himself and discovering how He has us loving any and all people, not only loving some one or two or so people who we can use for what we want.
The relationship that is good is to get with a person who helps you get real with God, get His correction (Hebrews 12:4-11), and helps you to love any and all people so we are compatible with Jesus our Groom, so we can spend eternity with Him and each other.
So, if you are mainly or only busy with using someone to help you get pleasure, this is missing out on real love. So, "relationships" without marriage are not only a moral issue, but we can miss out on real love.
Also, in Jesus we do things as family. So, there is no sneaking around. If we discover someone to marry, we love our family in Jesus and want to share our relationship with our family; so we get pronounced and receive the help of more mature married people.
But, Doc, I also understand that Paul is saying that certain people can be couples without having sex, and so they might not get married >
1 Corinthians 7:36-38.
This is what I call a Christian celibate covenant committed couple. Possibly the man and his lady do each other so much good, that they stay with each other, discovering how God's love so satisfies them more than sexual pleasure comes close to doing. And God's love gives them His almighty self-control so it is easy. And they are helping each other to minister to other people. So, this is an all-loving thing.
I can do a lot by myself, but God has my lady friend as part of my love supply, helping me to love any and all people and to share in ministry to help people. He has it, that I need her to minister love to me, to keep me alive for all-loving, not only with her. Jesus is "life-giving" > see 1 Corinthians 15:45 > and I am connected with her spiritually so Jesus in her can give me life of His love, along with how other people of Jesus can feed me, like this. So, we need to relate with and share with people who God uses to make us alive in all-loving love, and not only alive in pleasure.
Upvote
0
There are lots of examples of friendship, but I assume you’re speaking of romantic relationships. If so, there’s not a lot of specifics. The reason is pretty obvious: unmarried people in Biblical times weren’t free to have relationships in the same way as modern unmarried people. They were part of their family until marriage, and the only kind of relationship I know between sexes was courting. The main exception to this was widows, who seem to have had more freedom.
Some Christians think that’s still the standard, and no relationship should exist other than courting. If you don’t accept that — and based on posting I doubt you do — I just don’t think you’ll find specifics on the kind of relationship you’re talking about. There are possible examples: Ruth and Boaz were clearly involved before they were married. I think there’s at least a suggestion of sex. However Ruth almost certainly intended it to lead to marriage, and note that she was a widow. Song of Solomon is probably not referring to a married couple, but it’s not clear what kind of relationship, if any, is involved. But if there’s an equivalent of a modern boyfriend / girlfriend relationship in Scripture, I don’t know about it.
In the first cent, any kind of sex outside marriage was considered illicit. Hence references to “fornication” would have included that. Paul says if you need to have sex you should get married. (1 Cor 7:9) Jesus’ most explicit statement is Mat 5:27 ff, but opinions vary on just what it covers. The most expansive view (which I think is unlikely) is that it prohibits any sexual thoughts. The most restrictive (which I’d accept) is that it prohibits the intention to take advantage of someone sexually, with a likely focus on married people. (It is, after all, an interpretation of the commandment against adultery.) The culture put protections in place to control contact between sexes, in order to prevent violations.
Many Christians think modern couples should adopt protective rules as well. I would say that this should be done by the couple themselves (though for young people, parents will also be involved), and that they might vary depending upon the situation. The challenge here is that it easy to get into a situation where your emotions get away with you. So it’s probably not safe to rely on your good sense, without some previous discussion and agreement on guidelines.
De facto, most Christians seem to have sex before marriage. But because traditional Christian ethics considers this wrong, I’m not aware of much in the way of ethical discussions about that kind of situation. I don’t think CF would even permit that discussion. Whether you consider it wrong or not depends upon how much you try to distinguish Jesus’ teachings from the 1st Cent culture in which the NT was produced.
I would argue that Biblical passages about marriage should be applied to serious relationships between the sexes, even if you’re committed to not expressing the relationship sexually. This would include mutual love and support, mutual submission (per Eph 5:21 ff), forgiveness, etc.
Why does marriage “suck?” Lots of people seem to go into it who shouldn’t, but many people find it a satisfying relationship. Gen 2 (quoted by Jesus) sees sex as making two people one. Whatever your attitude is towards sexual ethics, surely Jesus’ ideal is a permanent union between two people. I’m not the best person to have this discussion with you though, because I’m not married (nor sexually active).
I would also note that the Bible didn’t mention county clerks. Marriage is a permanent commitment between two people. Traditionally, clergy and the congregation were witnesses to the two people making the commitment, but weren’t essential to it. However I think the tradition is wise in looking for a public commitment, with the congregation and community committed to support the couple.
Some Christians think that’s still the standard, and no relationship should exist other than courting. If you don’t accept that — and based on posting I doubt you do — I just don’t think you’ll find specifics on the kind of relationship you’re talking about. There are possible examples: Ruth and Boaz were clearly involved before they were married. I think there’s at least a suggestion of sex. However Ruth almost certainly intended it to lead to marriage, and note that she was a widow. Song of Solomon is probably not referring to a married couple, but it’s not clear what kind of relationship, if any, is involved. But if there’s an equivalent of a modern boyfriend / girlfriend relationship in Scripture, I don’t know about it.
In the first cent, any kind of sex outside marriage was considered illicit. Hence references to “fornication” would have included that. Paul says if you need to have sex you should get married. (1 Cor 7:9) Jesus’ most explicit statement is Mat 5:27 ff, but opinions vary on just what it covers. The most expansive view (which I think is unlikely) is that it prohibits any sexual thoughts. The most restrictive (which I’d accept) is that it prohibits the intention to take advantage of someone sexually, with a likely focus on married people. (It is, after all, an interpretation of the commandment against adultery.) The culture put protections in place to control contact between sexes, in order to prevent violations.
Many Christians think modern couples should adopt protective rules as well. I would say that this should be done by the couple themselves (though for young people, parents will also be involved), and that they might vary depending upon the situation. The challenge here is that it easy to get into a situation where your emotions get away with you. So it’s probably not safe to rely on your good sense, without some previous discussion and agreement on guidelines.
De facto, most Christians seem to have sex before marriage. But because traditional Christian ethics considers this wrong, I’m not aware of much in the way of ethical discussions about that kind of situation. I don’t think CF would even permit that discussion. Whether you consider it wrong or not depends upon how much you try to distinguish Jesus’ teachings from the 1st Cent culture in which the NT was produced.
I would argue that Biblical passages about marriage should be applied to serious relationships between the sexes, even if you’re committed to not expressing the relationship sexually. This would include mutual love and support, mutual submission (per Eph 5:21 ff), forgiveness, etc.
Why does marriage “suck?” Lots of people seem to go into it who shouldn’t, but many people find it a satisfying relationship. Gen 2 (quoted by Jesus) sees sex as making two people one. Whatever your attitude is towards sexual ethics, surely Jesus’ ideal is a permanent union between two people. I’m not the best person to have this discussion with you though, because I’m not married (nor sexually active).
I would also note that the Bible didn’t mention county clerks. Marriage is a permanent commitment between two people. Traditionally, clergy and the congregation were witnesses to the two people making the commitment, but weren’t essential to it. However I think the tradition is wise in looking for a public commitment, with the congregation and community committed to support the couple.
Upvote
0
Good morning, Doc
Our Apostle Paul says,
"For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that." (1 Corinthians 7:7)
Here, Paul is talking about how he would love to have all people be unmarried so they can totally devote to God and not be distracted with pleasing a husband or wife.
But, even so, Paul understands that marriage in Christ is God's "gift". What is so good about marriage? Marriage in Jesus is a research laboratory where you can make breakthrough discoveries in how to love another person, in a very close relationship and involvement. And then you can use all you have gained to love other people, also, plus help celibates to learn how to love personally, and help other married couples and ones on their way to marriage.
So, marriage is not only for sex and reproduction. All God's gifts are for helping us to get with God in His own love and share intimately with Him and to love any and all people. And this includes obeying God . . . how He rules us in His own peace > Colossians 3:15.
So, it is wrong to just use sex to get pleasure. Sex is not love, and sex does not love us. We need to invest first in seeking God for Himself and discovering how He has us loving any and all people, not only loving some one or two or so people who we can use for what we want.
The relationship that is good is to get with a person who helps you get real with God, get His correction (Hebrews 12:4-11), and helps you to love any and all people so we are compatible with Jesus our Groom, so we can spend eternity with Him and each other.
So, if you are mainly or only busy with using someone to help you get pleasure, this is missing out on real love. So, "relationships" without marriage are not only a moral issue, but we can miss out on real love.
Also, in Jesus we do things as family. So, there is no sneaking around. If we discover someone to marry, we love our family in Jesus and want to share our relationship with our family; so we get pronounced and receive the help of more mature married people.
But, Doc, I also understand that Paul is saying that certain people can be couples without having sex, and so they might not get married >
1 Corinthians 7:36-38.
This is what I call a Christian celibate covenant committed couple. Possibly the man and his lady do each other so much good, that they stay with each other, discovering how God's love so satisfies them more than sexual pleasure comes close to doing. And God's love gives them His almighty self-control so it is easy. And they are helping each other to minister to other people. So, this is an all-loving thing.
I can do a lot by myself, but God has my lady friend as part of my love supply, helping me to love any and all people and to share in ministry to help people. He has it, that I need her to minister love to me, to keep me alive for all-loving, not only with her. Jesus is "life-giving" > see 1 Corinthians 15:45 > and I am connected with her spiritually so Jesus in her can give me life of His love, along with how other people of Jesus can feed me, like this. So, we need to relate with and share with people who God uses to make us alive in all-loving love, and not only alive in pleasure.
Back at it with the wall are you lol. 4am here can't sleep yet exhausted. But yeah I understand. Pretty much relation ships shouldn't be about sex and stuff I guess? And they shouldn't be just about you and your partner but god more or less? I think I'm right idk. I don't like the thought of commitment or marriage or whatever. I just hear about all those crazy bad things that come with marriage... Like divorce sucks and all that. Idk maybe I'm to pessimistic about this. I got a question though how old are not exactly I guess if you don't want but an estimate idk lol. And what are your tips for the lady's my man hahahaha. Oh man I'm jealous of your sleep lol. I should be asleep. Off topic but are you a creationist or no just wondering. Man...
Upvote
0
Yeah the bible doesn't really say a whole lot but I got you. I dont know what to say huh lol. Man I lost my though crappp. Dude I'm so unprofessional haha. Man but yeah dude. Meanwhile dude creepy being up at night. Animals be howling and stuff. Man I watched some creepy 911 calls I have no idea why. Man why did I even remember that gives me chills man. I ramble to much...
Upvote
0
com7fy8
Well-Known Member
- May 22, 2013
- 14,744
- 6,642
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
Yeah, I guess I write enough so you could paper a wall with it all. My lady has more and more of my nature photographs, but she does want to wallpaper it all with it! lololol
Prayer for you; we love you
It is good to see you, again.
Well, sex can be a very beautiful and wonderful and personally loving sharing to do . . . but so can doing cooking with each other and walking the doggie. This is if you are in God's love which is so very beautiful and wonderful and personally loving and sharing
It's what you're in that makes it what it is. Pleasure doesn't make it love. As I get more and more into love with her, it is easier to be moral and my mind busy with sharing, praying together, caring for her friends and family. About relationships, you said >
Yes, God is first, but God is about loving any and all people; so intimacy with Him includes how He has us sharing with Him in loving people. And He is our Father and Jesus His son and the Holy Spirit, so God is about family sharing and caring love. So, we can have the best intimacy with groups of real-love Jesus people. So, I keep encouraging her to go to her lady's group and other gatherings of Jesus people.
Trust God for how He proves things to you; He does not want you on your own
God is committed. Look at how Jesus His own Son came to this earth and shared in Person with people, then suffered and died for us . . . even though He is so superior, yet He is not conceited but has reached to us the way we are.
Jesus knew the crazy things that would be done to Him on Calvary, but also He knows how God can overcome any problem and bring all that is so more and better than what some problem can take away. So, you find a lady who is into this. And then you don't give up on her because of anything, like how God does not give up on us.
Yes, it is horrible.
But, Doc, the thing is we need to not let divorces decide who we are and what we do, or we are going along with them.
"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." (Romans 12:21)
It is wise to see how we are human, too, like the ones who get divorces, but have hope for all that is possible with God.
"He can have compassion on those who are ignorant and going astray, since he himself is also subject to weakness." (Hebrews 5:2)
So, have compassion for ones who get divorces. Plus, be ready to have compassion in case you find your wife or lady is wrong somehow. And have hope for her and show this, so she can be encouraged not to give up on your relationship.
"Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted." (Galatians 6:1)
So, with God you have power to restore someone out of "any trespass". So, with someone special with you, you two can help each other about how you still can mess up. My lady helps me against paranoid which has me cursing people with my suspicion > Jesus wants us to bless and not to curse people (Matthew 5:44, 1 Peter 3:8-9), but love people and have hope for them, in prayer. So, she helps me be more compassionate. And I help her not to worry and complain or single out certain people to not love. So, we help each other.
Well, for an estimate, we met while we both were senior citizens in the U.S. which is over 65 years old, here. But after we spent a little time with each other, we got to wondering sometimes how much we really have grown up > maybe we were about five years old when we started with each other
Now maybe we are more like fifty, but she is 78 and I am 68.
In case I understand your question right . . . of course, pray and discover how God has you learn and live the Bible. He will prove it all, in ways for you to discover. It will be deeper than what all the scholars and preachers are talking, though He uses what people say. The most help you will get, I consider, will be from people's example . . . of people you know in real life.
But, for men and women getting together in real relationships . . . my opinion is if a lady wants a real man, she needs to become a real woman with God, so his love in her character can be an electromagnet to attract her to a real man. And a man needs to get real, for the same reason; because our real character has a lot to do with who God will trust us with in a relationship.
I got with my lady because of how I really am as a person; and she's not perfect either. So I'm not trying to trade her in for anyone; plus, she is so better for me, anyway, more than I was hoping for, though I have been surprised by what can be her faults; still, she has been more good and done me more than, than anything I may have lost because of her; so why window shop?? It's better with her, than I could have with any pleasure and sleek fancy body I keep seeing here and there.
And I would say listen to what someone says he or she wants, and don't try to change it, but learn so you can get to know the person. Then you have to make your choice; do you want to be with someone who is about those things? She and I are totally different about things we want; but we love each other more than any of those things, since God's love is about loving the person.
I usually tell her to do what she likes, and do it with me so I can share with her but also help her and sometimes maybe offer correction; and this brings us together with people she knows so we can reach them for Jesus. My stuff would have me alone with no one with me to love . . . not worth it!!
Loving does me more good.So, if you hear someone say he or she wants something that you really can't accept, don't pretend you can change the person "later". Just love the person and keep yourself from getting tangled and mangled with the person's ways and unacceptable stuff. What has turned me off from a woman is if she has wrong behavior and is not getting right with God and expects to have a man who will "unconditionally" accept her and spoil her while she keeps abusing herself or picking and choosing who is good enough for her to love and get along with.
With a woman who is committed to certain wrong ways, I don't dump her from talking with me; but if she is capable of talking about it without having a temperamental fit about me judging and criticizing her, I will tell her the Holy Spirit's fruit includes self-control against food abuse and other things, and God's love has us ready to love any and all people and not be picking and choosing who is good enough for us to love . . . Jesus has us loving any and all people > Matthew 5:46. But while they abuse themselves and pick and choose, this keeps them from being strong in love for a close relationship and not getting hurt. So, I won't start with someone who stays with her wrong stuff and isn't showing she is gaining God's correction.
But different interests is nothing. If you want to reach people for Jesus, we need to be able to become interested in any person's life and share in those things, somehow > like Paul did, I would say > 1 Corinthians 9:19-23. So, I stayed interested in how she is as a person and one who submits to God and loves any and all people or not. And love has been correcting us about what really matters, I would say. With God, there is correction > Hebrews 12:4-11.
I believe God created us, and so He is able to get you into good sleep, better than what scientists know about or think they know how to get. So, even though I might not sleep really right, I keep offering myself to God. And love is kind of like sleep > you can't control it, but God is love and He takes us and does all He does with us. If we try to make our own selves sleep, our conscious trying can keep us awake; we need to stop trying and relax and not have bad things going on in our heads, so we can just ooze into sleep; like this, I think, we need to not try to control our own selves to be how we think God wants us, but be still and He takes us how He pleases.
Upvote
0
oi_antz
Opposed to Untruth.
Just a tip about sleeping, I had troubles sleeping as you seem to have too, though what caused that was stress of the job I was doing and also I have found that I have an intolerance to refined wheat. So I was told to stop eating wheat by a nutritionist, and this is one of the symptoms. If I was to have say a pizza, that night I would wake at 2am and not be able to sleep again until 6am. Insomnia is something that can be cured.
Upvote
0
Yeah thanks oi you the man lol. But that sucks no pizza what no way dude!? Anyways but if you dont mind me asking what was your job and what is your current job? Aren't ya In new Zealand?
Upvote
0
Yeah, I guess I write enough so you could paper a wall with it all. My lady has more and more of my nature photographs, but she does want to wallpaper it all with it! lololol
About relationships, you said > Yes, God is first, but God is about loving any and all people; so intimacy with Him includes how He has us sharing with Him in loving people. And He is our Father and Jesus His son and the Holy Spirit, so God is about family sharing and caring love. So, we can have the best intimacy with groups of real-love Jesus people. So, I keep encouraging her to go to her lady's group and other gatherings of Jesus people.Trust God for how He proves things to you; He does not want you on your own
But, Doc, the thing is we need to not let divorces decide who we are and what we do, or we are going along with them.
"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." (Romans 12:21)
It is wise to see how we are human, too, like the ones who get divorces, but have hope for all that is possible with God.
"He can have compassion on those who are ignorant and going astray, since he himself is also subject to weakness." (Hebrews 5:2)
So, have compassion for ones who get divorces. Plus, be ready to have compassion in case you find your wife or lady is wrong somehow. And have hope for her and show this, so she can be encouraged not to give up on your relationship.
"Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted." (Galatians 6:1)
So, with God you have power to restore someone out of "any trespass". So, with someone special with you, you two can help each other about how you still can mess up. My lady helps me against paranoid which has me cursing people with my suspicion > Jesus wants us to bless and not to curse people (Matthew 5:44, 1 Peter 3:8-9), but love people and have hope for them, in prayer. So, she helps me be more compassionate. And I help her not to worry and complain or single out certain people to not love. So, we help each other.
Well, for an estimate, we met while we both were senior citizens in the U.S. which is over 65 years old, here. But after we spent a little time with each other, we got to wondering sometimes how much we really have grown up > maybe we were about five years old when we started with each other
But, for men and women getting together in real relationships . . . my opinion is if a lady wants a real man, she needs to become a real woman with God, so his love in her character can be an electromagnet to attract her to a real man. And a man needs to get real, for the same reason; because our real character has a lot to do with who God will trust us with in a relationship.
I got with my lady because of how I really am as a person; and she's not perfect either. So I'm not trying to trade her in for anyone; plus, she is so better for me, anyway, more than I was hoping for, though I have been surprised by what can be her faults; still, she has been more good and done me more than, than anything I may have lost because of her; so why window shop?? It's better with her, than I could have with any pleasure and sleek fancy body I keep seeing here and there.
And I would say listen to what someone says he or she wants, and don't try to change it, but learn so you can get to know the person. Then you have to make your choice; do you want to be with someone who is about those things? She and I are totally different about things we want; but we love each other more than any of those things, since God's love is about loving the person.
I usually tell her to do what she likes, and do it with me so I can share with her but also help her and sometimes maybe offer correction; and this brings us together with people she knows so we can reach them for Jesus. My stuff would have me alone with no one with me to love . . . not worth it!!
So, if you hear someone say he or she wants something that you really can't accept, don't pretend you can change the person "later". Just love the person and keep yourself from getting tangled and mangled with the person's ways and unacceptable stuff. What has turned me off from a woman is if she has wrong behavior and is not getting right with God and expects to have a man who will "unconditionally" accept her and spoil her while she keeps abusing herself or picking and choosing who is good enough for her to love and get along with.
With a woman who is committed to certain wrong ways, I don't dump her from talking with me; but if she is capable of talking about it without having a temperamental fit about me judging and criticizing her, I will tell her the Holy Spirit's fruit includes self-control against food abuse and other things, and God's love has us ready to love any and all people and not be picking and choosing who is good enough for us to love . . . Jesus has us loving any and all people > Matthew 5:46. But while they abuse themselves and pick and choose, this keeps them from being strong in love for a close relationship and not getting hurt. So, I won't start with someone who stays with her wrong stuff and isn't showing she is gaining God's correction.
But different interests is nothing. If you want to reach people for Jesus, we need to be able to become interested in any person's life and share in those things, somehow > like Paul did, I would say > 1 Corinthians 9:19-23. So, I stayed interested in how she is as a person and one who submits to God and loves any and all people or not. And love has been correcting us about what really matters, I would say. With God, there is correction > Hebrews 12:4-11.
I believe God created us, and so He is able to get you into good sleep, better than what scientists know about or think they know how to get. So, even though I might not sleep really right, I keep offering myself to God. And love is kind of like sleep > you can't control it, but God is love and He takes us and does all He does with us. If we try to make our own selves sleep, our conscious trying can keep us awake; we need to stop trying and relax and not have bad things going on in our heads, so we can just ooze into sleep; like this, I think, we need to not try to control our own selves to be how we think God wants us, but be still and He takes us how He pleases.
Wow you are one hip old person no offense lol. Expected you to be younger haha. Anyways man where do I begin. Well yeah I guess it is good to recognize my human traits and yeah. Idk lol. But yeah divorce sucks but that is just our fault and stuff I think. And yeah If I ever find a women I'll make sure it's the one or whatever that cliche thing haha. Maybe I'm to young to be thinking bout this I'm only 16... Idk. Anyways dude do you like horror movies or what do you think about them. What about video games you play em?
Upvote
0
oi_antz
Opposed to Untruth.
Yep. No pizza. Though, I have read that us with wheat intolerances are sometimes ok with organic old fashioned wheat varieties. I think that will describe me, because I can eat one roti or one burger without bad symptoms. I have put it on my list, for the next time I see organic old-fashioned flour. There is other alternatives though, like rice flour/tapioca flour blends etc. It's worth it for the good sleep. That stressful job was due to a combination of role and company that did not really suit me. I am just a worker that likes check lists, but I signed up to be the everything guy for the IT dept in a startup, because I believed in the product and was made an offer that I could not decline. Being sole IT guy in the startup, all the pressures fell on me and resources were not made available for me to handle them as best as I wanted, but then others in the company were stressed too and I just am not made to not care or worry about that stuff. Well anyway I am not involved with that now, and I have learned a bit about what to avoid. I am pursuing another role presently that is quite attractive, it has been quite a while that I have been watching for that opportunity. How about yourself? Is it thinking that keeps you awake at night? Is it circumstantial, or psychological? The GP can prescribe medications to help with a restless mind. I had been using some during that period that were effective, I could PM the names of them to you so you can look into them.
Upvote
0
Let's also remember that God did not want Adam to be alone so he did create Eve. Relationships are not a bad thing.
Upvote
0
com7fy8
Well-Known Member
- May 22, 2013
- 14,744
- 6,642
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
People who see me think I am younger.
Our own traits and ways can have us marrying whoever we marry. Whether we marry and get hurt or don't marry, our ways and traits still can get us hurt. So, yes we first need to get with God about our own selves. Then He can have us living in His ways of loving. And I will offer that God has created each of us, and His ways are "past finding out." (in Romans 11:33) So, we aren't going to figure out anyone, including our own selves; plus, if we live and share in His love, things will be beyond our comprehension, as He guides us. So, we don't want to try to control how we have love with someone we belong with ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
But enjoy, and rest and ride with the flow.
First, we need to get a divorce from our own selfish and controlling ways so they can't take us the wrong way, in or out of marriage.
As much as we get real with Jesus and into Jesus loving, this will connect us with other for-real people. I can go crazy, because I keep discovering more and more women who are so beautiful pure pleasant kind and caring as Jesus women. So, you won't find only one you can do good with. You will need to pray for God to guide about which one you belong with, if He wants you with one. And they are more sweetly satisfying than just looking nice and pleasure stuff. God's love is better (Psalm 63:3).
You are thinking about it. We all have things we are not ready to deal with, but here we are and we have God to take care of us >
"casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)
I say get into sharing with mature older people and share with them about these things.
I watched Buffy, a little. At first, it seemed like just a vampire killing thing, and certain school students were turning out to be vampires, I think I remember. But then it developed, how she needed to overcome her own fear, in order to be able to slay the vampires. So, it got to where I could see a spiritual message through it . . . how the vampires can represent things and people who are in our imagination and who can beat and scare us down, and suck the blood of encouragement out of us . . . if we let them take us down. We with God can beat anything which seems scary and horrible or is an excuse not to love like we can. But she was depending on her own "gift" and her own ability to overcome her fears, so she could slay those vampires; but we need God, really. So, this could go for your fear of marriage > don't let other people's divorces be vampires that suck the blood out of you!!! What others have done should be allowed to dictate who you are and what you can do. So, don't let any dictator vampire get to you
Fear and past failure can be very mean dictators >"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." (1 John 4:17)
And our pastor once said something like this > zombies can represent things and people who are in our minds, and who are scary and destructive. In us there are things of our imagination which can eat us alive with fear and unforgiveness and lusts which devour us emotionally and spiritually; so we need for God in us to make those horrors leave . . . casting down those imaginations of troubling people and things >
"For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ," (2 Corinthians 10:4-5)
I have my lady friend. She is more challenging
And we win together, by loving and by receiving one another's helping correction. I have tried to play a sniper duel game or something like that, with a kid, and I couldn't do anything against him. And I have done the computer chess thing, a couple of times. When I set it to high ability, it wiped me; but on the lowest setting, it gave me its queen in a few moves.
I'm busy enough with prayer and exercise and my lady and church and writing Christian sharing on the net and photography; but now I'm more and more busy with people, so some photography and writing time is less.
As you get with Jesus and grow with Him, you will discover interests which you find more satisfying than a number of things you are into now. I "like" to get into my lady's real life. I can see how she is doing, her attitudes, and help her about things that can do her in in her everyday life. And she helps me against paranoia. She is maybe someone who people would say has "the love gift" > yes, though, she is not perfect, and God has trusted me to be with her, I would say. Without her, my social life could be on the computer only, and at times on the phone and in church things, like it used to be before her. I have people to love and care about, in person, because of being with her and her family and all the people she helps and cares about. So, joining her in her interests means having her people to love . . . while we walk her doggie, shop, cook, go with her to appointments and to pay bills and get glasses and prescription cat food, take care of her diabetic cat, go to different churches, pick up cigarette butts so they aren't there for kids to scavenge . . . . . but doing these things with her means having someone for loving
This has helped me to appreciate how people have real lives, and helps me to feel for other people, too, so I become all-loving
Upvote
0
But enjoy, and rest and ride with the flow.
First, we need to get a divorce from our own selfish and controlling ways so they can't take us the wrong way, in or out of marriage.
As much as we get real with Jesus and into Jesus loving, this will connect us with other for-real people. I can go crazy, because I keep discovering more and more women who are so beautiful pure pleasant kind and caring as Jesus women. So, you won't find only one you can do good with. You will need to pray for God to guide about which one you belong with, if He wants you with one. And they are more sweetly satisfying than just looking nice and pleasure stuff. God's love is better (Psalm 63:3).
You are thinking about it. We all have things we are not ready to deal with, but here we are and we have God to take care of us >
"casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)
I say get into sharing with mature older people and share with them about these things. I watched Buffy, a little. At first, it seemed like just a vampire killing thing, and certain school students were turning out to be vampires, I think I remember. But then it developed, how she needed to overcome her own fear, in order to be able to slay the vampires. So, it got to where I could see a spiritual message through it . . . how the vampires can represent things and people who are in our imagination and who can beat and scare us down, and suck the blood of encouragement out of us . . . if we let them take us down. We with God can beat anything which seems scary and horrible or is an excuse not to love like we can. But she was depending on her own "gift" and her own ability to overcome her fears, so she could slay those vampires; but we need God, really. So, this could go for your fear of marriage > don't let other people's divorces be vampires that suck the blood out of you!!! What others have done should be allowed to dictate who you are and what you can do. So, don't let any dictator vampire get to you
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." (1 John 4:17)
And our pastor once said something like this > zombies can represent things and people who are in our minds, and who are scary and destructive. In us there are things of our imagination which can eat us alive with fear and unforgiveness and lusts which devour us emotionally and spiritually; so we need for God in us to make those horrors leave . . . casting down those imaginations of troubling people and things >
"For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ," (2 Corinthians 10:4-5)
I have my lady friend. She is more challenging
I have tried to play a sniper duel game or something like that, with a kid, and I couldn't do anything against him. And I have done the computer chess thing, a couple of times. When I set it to high ability, it wiped me; but on the lowest setting, it gave me its queen in a few moves.
I'm busy enough with prayer and exercise and my lady and church and writing Christian sharing on the net and photography; but now I'm more and more busy with people, so some photography and writing time is less.
As you get with Jesus and grow with Him, you will discover interests which you find more satisfying than a number of things you are into now. I "like" to get into my lady's real life. I can see how she is doing, her attitudes, and help her about things that can do her in in her everyday life. And she helps me against paranoia. She is maybe someone who people would say has "the love gift" > yes, though, she is not perfect, and God has trusted me to be with her, I would say. Without her, my social life could be on the computer only, and at times on the phone and in church things, like it used to be before her. I have people to love and care about, in person, because of being with her and her family and all the people she helps and cares about. So, joining her in her interests means having her people to love . . . while we walk her doggie, shop, cook, go with her to appointments and to pay bills and get glasses and prescription cat food, take care of her diabetic cat, go to different churches, pick up cigarette butts so they aren't there for kids to scavenge . . . . . but doing these things with her means having someone for loving
Wow that was nice to read lol. But yeah I got that traits part down. And yeah I shouldn't let others failures I guess in marriage dictate what marriage is. Or what marriage does or could do. Although I'm young I guess it is good to plan or think ahead. Oh and that Buffy thing was pretty funny lol. I don't like to watch horror movies lol I was really really scared of them as a kid. Lol I even had a night light until I was 12ish. Although I have overcame that fear a bit. They interest me but scare me I guess curiosity killed the cat kind of thing lol. Video games are the best dude. I play csgo I'm a DMG right now which is pretty good. I also play elder scrolls, fallout and some others but that is it. But yeah it's nice that you have a women to help you and then you give back. You seem like the really top model nice old people down the street people generalize or whatever lol. Kids scavenging cigarette buds xD. One time at my elementary we found a bullet casing or something that was 10years ago. We moved to a different place years later. Anyways what do you think about drugs or whatever. Oh and since we were on the topic of marriage whatcha think about gay marriage/relationships. Alright sleep time hopefully...
Upvote
0
com7fy8
Well-Known Member
- May 22, 2013
- 14,744
- 6,642
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
I think of >
"Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain." (Philippians 2:14-16)
This is a basic of being a Christian. God expects us to do everything without complaining and arguing. And if we become strong and real in His love so we don't complain and argue, we become "blameless and harmless" and "without fault" because of being mature in God's love. So, this is not only becoming perfect in behavior and religious practice, but how we become in love and how we are loving . . . in sharing with God who has us loving the way He wants. So, this does not come with controlling our own selves and forcing our own selves not to complain and dispute, but we trust You, God our Father, to correct us (Hebrews 12:4-11) and cure our character (1 John 4:17-18) with Your love
And, Doc, as we do this basic of loving, we become ready for having a good marriage. And do all the other things the Bible says to do, and this will feed us to become real in love so we can do well in loving any and all people and succeed in not bleeding in marriage. But it is not defensive, but in love we enjoy and rest, even in sharing with someone special and very close to us.
But we need to be ready to forgive and bear with however we discover that our companions are not perfect and can be wrong >
"with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love," (Ephesians 4:2)
God says this, because He knows that even with really good leader-examples and someone we belong with in marriage, still any of us can be wrong, at times; and so we need to have "longsuffering" ready, in our love together. And this makes us strong so we can't be hurt, can get over things quickly and easily, and then help other marriages and single people to learn how to love. So, we are not doing this only for ourselves.
"He can have compassion on those who are ignorant and going astray, since he himself is also subject to weakness." (Hebrews 5:2)
So, from my own sin trouble I can feel for others and have compassion on them.
While I was in the seventh grade, I think, I was a loser and a misfit; only loose dogs would spend time with me, on my way to and from church. I didn't like going into church and coming out and seeing that my latest dog friend that walked with me wasn't there, any more. So, I wanted to bring my dog friends into church, but I was told dogs can't go to Heaven and so no dogs in church.
So, I decided to get back at God and people by being evil for the sake of it. I was bullying a couple of guys in school and one time I told a guy that if he put a piece of paper balled-up in the fans at the back of the room to make a lot of noise, I would tell the teacher I did it. So, I got the detention.
I was fine with seeing people in horror shows being killed and tortured and scared to death. But, one night, a show was different > I couldn't see the monster but each of the guys would show with gory stuff that monster did to them and they died. And I got terrified of dying and going to hell, then I decided to be good. In my senior year I got voted class angel! lolololololololol
But I was not a Christian. I could not handle loving any and all people. I could not stand the woman who was voted female class angel; she was the principle's daughter. So, I was sinning against love, a lot, while I thought I was being good by doing the religious things I was told to do.
Years later, I trusted in Jesus and I am learning how to love, praying for correction . . . discovering what God does with us, better than I could try to discipline myself to be and do.
People in sin are not satisfied and can be wanting not to feel their deep-down mess of selfishness; so they are desperate for pleasure. And drug pleasure and sexual pleasure can feel pretty nice; so these pleasures are a treasure, if someone has not experienced how God's love is.
We all were born in sin with the ability to go the wrong way and think we should have what we want. And we can't take no for an answer about our wrong ways of getting pleasure. And we can fall in "love" with whoever we want to use for the pleasures we want. So, drug people and married gays are basically the same as any of us in our sinning. But we can want to look down on others while we do what we do.
There is plenty in the Bible to keep me busy with getting the correction that I need, myself . . . like all the rules about how to love > including >
James 1:19-20, Ephesians 4:31-5:2, and Colossians 3:19.
And have compassion for wrong people, have hope for them, knowing how all of us were born in slavery to sin. None of us could get our own selves free. And no religious program or drugs or nice talking could change us. Only our Father can correct us > Hebrews 12:4-11.
With Jesus, we get "rest for your souls" > Matthew 11:28-30. Because of not having rest for our souls, any of us can be desperate to use pleasures to make ourselves feel good; so addicts and gays are not the only ones who need all that is possible with God.
But God's correction does not just stop our wrong things, but our Father brings us into intimate and sensitive family sharing affection with Him and each other . . . while we personally submit to Him, more and more all the time, and obey how He rules us and takes care of us in His peace > this is a basic of our love calling as Christians >
"And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful." (Collisions 3:15)
So, it is important not to get isolated with our own efforts and ways and treasure pleasures.
Upvote
0
I think of >
"Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain." (Philippians 2:14-16)
This is a basic of being a Christian. God expects us to do everything without complaining and arguing. And if we become strong and real in His love so we don't complain and argue, we become "blameless and harmless" and "without fault" because of being mature in God's love. So, this is not only becoming perfect in behavior and religious practice, but how we become in love and how we are loving . . . in sharing with God who has us loving the way He wants. So, this does not come with controlling our own selves and forcing our own selves not to complain and dispute, but we trust You, God our Father, to correct us (Hebrews 12:4-11) and cure our character (1 John 4:17-18) with Your love
And, Doc, as we do this basic of loving, we become ready for having a good marriage. And do all the other things the Bible says to do, and this will feed us to become real in love so we can do well in loving any and all people and succeed in not bleeding in marriage. But it is not defensive, but in love we enjoy and rest, even in sharing with someone special and very close to us.
But we need to be ready to forgive and bear with however we discover that our companions are not perfect and can be wrong >
"with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love," (Ephesians 4:2)
God says this, because He knows that even with really good leader-examples and someone we belong with in marriage, still any of us can be wrong, at times; and so we need to have "longsuffering" ready, in our love together. And this makes us strong so we can't be hurt, can get over things quickly and easily, and then help other marriages and single people to learn how to love. So, we are not doing this only for ourselves.
"He can have compassion on those who are ignorant and going astray, since he himself is also subject to weakness." (Hebrews 5:2)
So, from my own sin trouble I can feel for others and have compassion on them.
While I was in the seventh grade, I think, I was a loser and a misfit; only loose dogs would spend time with me, on my way to and from church. I didn't like going into church and coming out and seeing that my latest dog friend that walked with me wasn't there, any more. So, I wanted to bring my dog friends into church, but I was told dogs can't go to Heaven and so no dogs in church.
So, I decided to get back at God and people by being evil for the sake of it. I was bullying a couple of guys in school and one time I told a guy that if he put a piece of paper balled-up in the fans at the back of the room to make a lot of noise, I would tell the teacher I did it. So, I got the detention.
I was fine with seeing people in horror shows being killed and tortured and scared to death. But, one night, a show was different > I couldn't see the monster but each of the guys would show with gory stuff that monster did to them and they died. And I got terrified of dying and going to hell, then I decided to be good. In my senior year I got voted class angel! lolololololololol
But I was not a Christian. I could not handle loving any and all people. I could not stand the woman who was voted female class angel; she was the principle's daughter. So, I was sinning against love, a lot, while I thought I was being good by doing the religious things I was told to do.
Years later, I trusted in Jesus and I am learning how to love, praying for correction . . . discovering what God does with us, better than I could try to discipline myself to be and do.
People in sin are not satisfied and can be wanting not to feel their deep-down mess of selfishness; so they are desperate for pleasure. And drug pleasure and sexual pleasure can feel pretty nice; so these pleasures are a treasure, if someone has not experienced how God's love is.
We all were born in sin with the ability to go the wrong way and think we should have what we want. And we can't take no for an answer about our wrong ways of getting pleasure. And we can fall in "love" with whoever we want to use for the pleasures we want. So, drug people and married gays are basically the same as any of us in our sinning. But we can want to look down on others while we do what we do.
There is plenty in the Bible to keep me busy with getting the correction that I need, myself . . . like all the rules about how to love > including >
James 1:19-20, Ephesians 4:31-5:2, and Colossians 3:19.
And have compassion for wrong people, have hope for them, knowing how all of us were born in slavery to sin. None of us could get our own selves free. And no religious program or drugs or nice talking could change us. Only our Father can correct us > Hebrews 12:4-11.
With Jesus, we get "rest for your souls" > Matthew 11:28-30. Because of not having rest for our souls, any of us can be desperate to use pleasures to make ourselves feel good; so addicts and gays are not the only ones who need all that is possible with God.
But God's correction does not just stop our wrong things, but our Father brings us into intimate and sensitive family sharing affection with Him and each other . . . while we personally submit to Him, more and more all the time, and obey how He rules us and takes care of us in His peace > this is a basic of our love calling as Christians >
"And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful." (Collisions 3:15)
So, it is important not to get isolated with our own efforts and ways and treasure pleasures.
Wow I was not expecting that. You seem like the nicest guy ever lol. Did not know you were lost or not good when you were young lol. That is a huge change from being a bully to the way you are now haha. And wait hold up? You said dogs or animals or whatever can't get into heaven say what
? And yeah sexual pleasure is a pretty strong sin I guess. Even I struggle with it. I used to watch porn well try not to I still do sometimes although I regret it later. Idk. Drugs though interest me though idk mainly just the light stuff not the crazy drugs. Like weed or whatever is tempting to try. Oh and that final thing about not getting rest is weird idk lol. Are you talking about doing sexual stuff when you are not rested or tired lol. True to a certain extent I guess lol...
Upvote
0
com7fy8
Well-Known Member
- May 22, 2013
- 14,744
- 6,642
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
I said, Doc, that when I tried to bring a dog into church, I think so the dog would stay until after church, instead of leave . . . I was told dogs can't go to heaven. I think I was hoping to keep the dog with me to walk home with me. I think I told the dog to wait, but it seems the dog did not understandAnd wait hold up? You said dogs or animals or whatever can't get into heaven say what
And, for a guy who couldn't have real good friendships, that was not pleasing to me, to be told that my dog friends couldn't go to Heaven.But now I realize I need to trust God about if I have a good relationship with someone or not, and appreciate every moment with anyone . . . love everyone, and do not try to use people only for attention and things I want. Now, of all things, as an senior aged Christian, I have been bullied in churches. And now I just pray for an abusive hypocritical person. There are people with problems who can say or think they are Christians and they can be mean. But - - about one of them . . . I stayed with prayer and trusted the good example of other people who did not reject him. And now we seem to do better.
Another time, I was in a church and the janitor was tearing me down with questions, but I just kept answering him. Then I left for a while. I figured he especially didn't want me there; but when I went back, the first thing he said was he missed me and I gave good answers. doh
Even if I don't watch actual porn, in my mind I can have imagination stuff which is pornographic, and this keeps my attention away from God and loving people; like I said, I need to love women and not use them just to look at them or only for pleasure. It is quite different to actually get to know a woman. Sometimes when I get to eyeballing a woman who I don't know, I get to thinking about if she is a worldly woman how would she be treating me? The ones who might seem very charming and gorgeous . . . might not be really kind and caring people and strong and sound.
About being sound in love > there are women who have relationships with worry. And this is very degrading. Worry is a pathological liar and very abusive, possibly doing more deep harm than any bad boyfriend or husband could hurt a woman; yet, there are women who keep on trusting and even obeying their worry, instead of trusting and obeying Jesus. So, if you have a Christian lady and she has a problem with worry, you need to help her to get a divorce from worry. And trust her about how she says things to correct you, too >
"submitting to one another in the fear of God." (Ephesians 5:21)
"Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much." (James 5:16)
"Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted." (Galatians 6:1)
So, yes even a really Christian person can have faults and problems, but a difference is that you share with each other and help each other get correction, in a Christian relationship. So, a test for being with someone can be you see if you and she help each other to really change to be more real with God and loving any and all people. And you get victory over the stuff which dominates people to argue and complain and abuse food and worry and be unforgiving. In love, we grow to be stronger and more sound against negative and nasty emotional and mental things.
By the way, using drugs for entertainment can harm us, by helping us to stay weak. There are substances and pleasures which we just don't need, and they don't give us anything, really. So, if we make them a big deal, this can help us to get weak so then it is easier to get hurt and keep suffering about things. So, this is another reason to stay clear of drugs, but also be careful how much we get involved with even things which are maybe not a sin.
In the United States, men are trained to like a nice looking woman and not be so interested in ones not so nice looking. I think it can be fine to notice how beautiful a woman is and to enjoy beauty, but not let it get to you. And do not discriminate about who you want because of what she looks like. Because of beauty discrimination, a lot of girls and women get treated in an unkind way, and then they can even suffer about not being accepted and praised. But in the United States, if people discriminate about beauty, this seems accepted, even while we hear so much criticism of how people have been hurt by other sorts of discrimination.
Of course, if we discriminate about how beautiful a lady looks, we need to find out how to love. And so, a woman is wise not to let unloving men have power to hurt them. But have compassion for men who do not know how to love. Men who favor beautiful women might get married to women who are extravagently gorgeous, but they possibly won't know how to love in their marriages, and in their weakness they can break down into arguing and adultery and abuse.
God is no respecter of persons (1 Samuel 16:7, Acts 10:34-35); so it is not godly to evaluate a lady only by what she looks like. So, porn can be helping to tempt us to judge only by what someone looks like, and to judge by if we think her looks can help us to get a sexual high, instead of evaluating by how she helps us get real in love, and if we would want her example for bringing up our children.
"rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:4)
And I have been told, Doc, that when men cheat on beautiful wives, they might get with women who are not so nice looking. I can see why. If a guy marries someone only or mainly because she is attractive and that wife also does not know how to love and communicate, he might discover a women who is sensitive and able to understand him more or less; and this more attentive woman can seem pretty good in comparison to how his wife can't communicate with him. He might get to feeling that he needs more than just good looks in a woman; however, of course, she is wrong to cheat with him, and if she can she also does not know how to love.
Our Father is the One who really understands us, and He corrects us ! !
With God, you can be perfectly satisfied, and it is free of charge. You don't have to pay for God's love. Of course, someone you know might give you free drugs, but they have to pay. And love is not for sale. Also, "of course", it might be illegal, and ones hanging on drugs can take you the wrong way, in other ways; even if a drug isn't illegal, marijuana has been found by scientific study not to be good. But, "of course", even legal drugs can be dangerous. So, we need to trust God to guide us, even in if and how we trust what is legal.
By rest, I don't mean just resting your body or getting some sleep. I mean "deep" spiritual rest of Jesus and His peace. It is miracle rest which does not depend on getting our circumstances to be nice in order to have peace. But God can give us peace, no matter what is happening. When I was getting bullied by a church person, it worked for me to first pray and get with God in His peace, and not to depend on getting the person to be nice to me. And in His peace, I loved and cared about the person, in prayer, and did not let the bully have power over me to decide how I was and what I did. And I would be encouraging him, in my example, how to be kind and caring. So, I didn't need to escape, but be good example
and stay with the ones who are my good example, and who do not give up on him.God's spiritual rest can effect our physical bodies. But drugs can have us and our attention elsewhere. And so can a lot of other things >
"All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any." (1 Corinthians 6:12)
With God, we can be satisfied, no matter what, so we don't depend on drugs or porn or even legal and safer things, in order to be happy and satisfied. And I would say that Biblical Christian people are not at all interested in drugs; so it is good to be prayerful and careful to be friends with people who are strong and satisfied so they don't give in to that stuff. But make sure they are not only "legalistic", just acting respectable by staying legal and safe and just church culture conformers and copy-cats; make sure they are good examples to help you learn how to be real with God and relate in love.
So, I think you need some people who have wrinkles
But don't judge only by that, but see if they are good examples >"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)
Even in a real Jesus Bible church, there can be ones who are older but not mature, even bullies, like I say. But the real ones do not give up on the ones who are trouble or who have deep problems. So, you need to be able to tell the difference and join in how they care for even the hypocrites. And don't let any hypocrites be the ones who decide what you think of God and a church. The real ones can be there, too.
Last edited:
Upvote
0
I said, Doc, that when I tried to bring a dog into church, I think so the dog would stay until after church, instead of leave . . . I was told dogs can't go to heaven. I think I was hoping to keep the dog with me to walk home with me. I think I told the dog to wait, but it seems the dog did not understand
But now I realize I need to trust God about if I have a good relationship with someone or not, and appreciate every moment with anyone . . . love everyone, and do not try to use people only for attention and things I want. Now, of all things, as an senior aged Christian, I have been bullied in churches. And now I just pray for an abusive hypocritical person. There are people with problems who can say or think they are Christians and they can be mean. But - - about one of them . . . I stayed with prayer and trusted the good example of other people who did not reject him. And now we seem to do better.
Another time, I was in a church and the janitor was tearing me down with questions, but I just kept answering him. Then I left for a while. I figured he especially didn't want me there; but when I went back, the first thing he said was he missed me and I gave good answers. doh
Even if I don't watch actual porn, in my mind I can have imagination stuff which is pornographic, and this keeps my attention away from God and loving people; like I said, I need to love women and not use them just to look at them or only for pleasure. It is quite different to actually get to know a woman. Sometimes when I get to eyeballing a woman who I don't know, I get to thinking about if she is a worldly woman how would she be treating me? The ones who might seem very charming and gorgeous . . . might not be really kind and caring people and strong and sound.
About being sound in love > there are women who have relationships with worry. And this is very degrading. Worry is a pathological liar and very abusive, possibly doing more deep harm than any bad boyfriend or husband could hurt a woman; yet, there are women who keep on trusting and even obeying their worry, instead of trusting and obeying Jesus. So, if you have a Christian lady and she has a problem with worry, you need to help her to get a divorce from worry. And trust her about how she says things to correct you, too >
"submitting to one another in the fear of God." (Ephesians 5:21)
"Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much." (James 5:16)
"Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted." (Galatians 6:1)
So, yes even a really Christian person can have faults and problems, but a difference is that you share with each other and help each other get correction, in a Christian relationship. So, a test for being with someone can be you see if you and she help each other to really change to be more real with God and loving any and all people. And you get victory over the stuff which dominates people to argue and complain and abuse food and worry and be unforgiving. In love, we grow to be stronger and more sound against negative and nasty emotional and mental things.
By the way, using drugs for entertainment can harm us, by helping us to stay weak. There are substances and pleasures which we just don't need, and they don't give us anything, really. So, if we make them a big deal, this can help us to get weak so then it is easier to get hurt and keep suffering about things. So, this is another reason to stay clear of drugs, but also be careful how much we get involved with even things which are maybe not a sin.
In the United States, men are trained to like a nice looking woman and not be so interested in ones not so nice looking. I think it can be fine to notice how beautiful a woman is and to enjoy beauty, but not let it get to you. And do not discriminate about who you want because of what she looks like. Because of beauty discrimination, a lot of girls and women get treated in an unkind way, and then they can even suffer about not being accepted and praised. But in the United States, if people discriminate about beauty, this seems accepted, even while we hear so much criticism of how people have been hurt by other sorts of discrimination.
Of course, if we discriminate about how beautiful a lady looks, we need to find out how to love. And so, a woman is wise not to let unloving men have power to hurt them. But have compassion for men who do not know how to love. Men who favor beautiful women might get married to women who are extravagently gorgeous, but they possibly won't know how to love in their marriages, and in their weakness they can break down into arguing and adultery and abuse.
God is no respecter of persons (1 Samuel 16:7, Acts 10:34-35); so it is not godly to evaluate a lady only by what she looks like. So, porn can be helping to tempt us to judge only by what someone looks like, and to judge by if we think her looks can help us to get a sexual high, instead of evaluating by how she helps us get real in love, and if we would want her example for bringing up our children.
"rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:4)
And I have been told, Doc, that when men cheat on beautiful wives, they might get with women who are not so nice looking. I can see why. If a guy marries someone only or mainly because she is attractive and that wife also does not know how to love and communicate, he might discover a women who is sensitive and able to understand him more or less; and this more attentive woman can seem pretty good in comparison to how his wife can't communicate with him. He might get to feeling that he needs more than just good looks in a woman; however, of course, she is wrong to cheat with him, and if she can she also does not know how to love.
Our Father is the One who really understands us, and He corrects us ! !
With God, you can be perfectly satisfied, and it is free of charge. You don't have to pay for God's love. Of course, someone you know might give you free drugs, but they have to pay. And love is not for sale. Also, "of course", it might be illegal, and ones hanging on drugs can take you the wrong way, in other ways; even if a drug isn't illegal, marijuana has been found by scientific study not to be good. But, "of course", even legal drugs can be dangerous. So, we need to trust God to guide us, even in if and how we trust what is legal.
By rest, I don't mean just resting your body or getting some sleep. I mean "deep" spiritual rest of Jesus and His peace. It is miracle rest which does not depend on getting our circumstances to be nice in order to have peace. But God can give us peace, no matter what is happening. When I was getting bullied by a church person, it worked for me to first pray and get with God in His peace, and not to depend on getting the person to be nice to me. And in His peace, I loved and cared about the person, in prayer, and did not let the bully have power over me to decide how I was and what I did. And I would be encouraging him, in my example, how to be kind and caring. So, I didn't need to escape, but be good example
God's spiritual rest can effect our physical bodies. But drugs can have us and our attention elsewhere. And so can a lot of other things >
"All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any." (1 Corinthians 6:12)
With God, we can be satisfied, no matter what, so we don't depend on drugs or porn or even legal and safer things, in order to be happy and satisfied. And I would say that Biblical Christian people are not at all interested in drugs; so it is good to be prayerful and careful to be friends with people who are strong and satisfied so they don't give in to that stuff. But make sure they are not only "legalistic", just acting respectable by staying legal and safe and just church culture conformers and copy-cats; make sure they are good examples to help you learn how to be real with God and relate in love.
So, I think you need some people who have wrinkles
"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)
Even in a real Jesus Bible church, there can be ones who are older but not mature, even bullies, like I say. But the real ones do not give up on the ones who are trouble or who have deep problems. So, you need to be able to tell the difference and join in how they care for even the hypocrites. And don't let any hypocrites be the ones who decide what you think of God and a church. The real ones can be there, too.
Why were you so angy or annoyed as a child what happened? To go from that to now is insane. I was told people can't change or whatever idk. I gues your the exception. Oh and do you still believe that dogs or pets or whatever can't go to beaven? How come? Is there like something that states or what is up idk? Oh and yeah pornography is a really annoying and I guess tough sin. Like it just is nice to watch idk. And I believe that almost every guy or woman idk has watched pornography some time in life. I know love should be more important but sex is always a plus I guess idk. I think lol. Oh and about judging ugly or unattractive girls I think that it just guys have standards and preferences ya know. Idk some dude might like that and another might not. I tend to think that I'm a decent looking dude idk lol. But yeah we should look more at personality rather than emotions but looks are important ya know. Oh and I forgot ask but what happened after that janitor dude you still know him? But yeah I got ya. Anyways on drugs yeah I know that they never can be good but like idk. Drugs are just supposed to be fun and is pornography In a sense I guess. Although they provide no benefit and can be wrong I guess they just are idk hard to say but enjoyable I guess. And yeah I know all Christians fall short but really? Bully's in a church say what lol. I thought everyone in there was like nice as heck lol. Then again I really don't like church idk. Church is boring and idk I'd rather be playing a game or doing something else. Prolly a bad thing that I don't go to church but yeah. I know that if you got god you should be happy but aren't there Christians that are depressed or whatever idk. Oh and dude I got a question should virginity be kept until marriage or what is up? On and what about abortions or whatever I know some Christians that are cool with em what about you? Oh and first post during the day rather at 1am haha...
Upvote
0
com7fy8
Well-Known Member
- May 22, 2013
- 14,744
- 6,642
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
Yeah, they're saying psychopaths and predators and gays can't change, but they expect Christians to change and accept wrong people. And if you marry someone worldly, she can expect you to change the way she wants.
But God can change anyone into a kind and gentle and caring and compassionate person who is strong in love which makes us more and more immune to sin-sick things of lusts and cruel feelings and dominating and dictatorial emotions.
I'm an improvable example, I would say, along with others who have helped me with their good example of how to relate in love and get real with God. I'm not alone, but I have people who have been good examples for me
There are church people who are not into becoming born-again in God's love; so they can keep on just acting nice and/or nasty and keep on suffering in deep problems while they conform and copy-cat at church.
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." (2 Corinthians 5:17)
I don't go there; I have enough to deal with, with people
But I have noticed how a number of dogs and cats can be pretty much about doing what they want; so yes they might be very excited to see me, but it is so they can get me into what they like. Their "unconditional love" can be that they stick with whoever feeds them and takes care of them. But also ones can be more emotionally attached like with affection, too, more or less. But this is how worldly people can be, too . . . loving those who love them > "if you love those who love you, what reward have you?" (in Matthew 5:46)I have been my own main problem.
It can be too easy. Getting to know and love a real woman with a conscience, who is into loving any and all people, is more interesting and challenging and wholesome, with attention where we belong. There are things which waste our attention and do not make us stronger as persons; then - - in our weakness for the pleasure and convenience and laziness . . . we are weak enough to suffer and to break down in relationships, instead of bonding and getting stronger with each other.
I've seen a little which someone else had on, and I didn't know it would be showing. It is too much focus on one thing which is not love, attention away from where we belong with our attention. And the people don't look right; they look wasted and used. And there can be attraction but not satisfaction. God deeply satisfies us, first, for what He wants
> no baiting to more and more so ones can get your money and you for what they want to use you for. In fake sex stuff and drug business, there can be the trick of giving you some satisfaction but always trying to not totally satisfy you so you can be tricked or dragged to want more and pay for it. I got involved with a street prostitute, once, and after a while I realized she was a natural at doing things to slightly "spoil" what we did, so I would keep trying and wishing for what I wanted.
But one kiss with a real Jesus lady has God's own love, and we can have this Heaven-perfect love in every thing we do . . . while we do what God has us doing.
"Let all that you do be done with love." (1 Corinthians 16:14)
It might have nice sensations, but these can be meant to distract us from how we are deeply not in real peace. And pretty much any psychopath or kid can do sexual stuff; it does not mean we have found out how to love a person!
It is important to grow in how to deal with looks. Because there is all that is so more important.
I haven't been to that church, for a while. But one time I think I remember seeing his wife and I think she said they got a divorce.
Even if things are only fun, they can help to keep our attention away from where we belong. They can be too easy and addicting . . . like food can hook people, in ways, too. So, even needed things can be a risk
Only God can make us strong and self-controlled and satisfied and deeply sober in our minds
Like I have offered, there are people who are simply nice, not really into becoming a new person in Jesus. And ones in such churches can be more about having a culture which keeps their church and the country going well. And they can be hoping to get younger people so the church continues. So, yes they can be nice . . . while you are around. But in meetings and in private . . . it can vary how they are with each other. Even in "real" churches really by the Bible and God's way of loving, we can have problems even of how leaders get along or not. Churches can use certain talented persons, but if those talented people get higher in power but do not become humble, then can be the rumble.
There are different sorts of depression. There is depression which is connected with a person's circumstances and how the person in one's character is able to react negatively, instead of trusting in God and having deep and spiritual peace. If a depression were really only physical, then spiritually a person could keep having even joy by not letting outward things decide how he or she is. So, there is depression which is not medical, not only of the physical brain. And if there is sin in the mix, God is committed to correcting us.
I have been suicidal, at times; but I can see it was not only a physical and medical thing, in my case; and God's love gave me shots of immunity against the deep problem so I became encouraged. And now I am more into encouraging people, instead of only criticizing them. So, the shot worked for more than myself
Yes, it is good to stay a virgin. But one might discover a real Jesus lady who in her life of sin wasted her virginity. She can be more able to love, than ones who have been perfect religious actors. Jesus gives us a new beginning.
Like I say, Jesus can give anyone a new beginning. You can't do what is wrong and have peace and deep soundness of love. There are people who just accept abortion, and the wrong spirit (Ephesians 2:2) of that can mess people up. A killer spirit does not solve problems, and it causes other problems, not only the killing. So, not only do we need to not do it, but we need to not even approve it. But stay busy with obeying God in His peace >
"And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful." (Colossians 3:15)
This is way way way better than just being happy. God's peace is almighty to keep us safe emotionally and spiritually, during anything. So, a problem of depression and other cruel things is how a person can be under the power of one's past and surroundings, so these things seem to decide how the person is. But if you suppose that people and things are deciding and controlling how you are, the real problem is deeper. Because God is able to keep us in His peace, no matter what our past is or what things and people do.
all right!
Upvote
0
TheyCallMeDave
At your service....
- Jun 19, 2012
- 2,854
- 150
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Protestant
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Republican
Yes, the Bible says some very definitive things about relationships and friendships outside of marriage . It precisely describes how we should act toward others. If you read the books of James and Ephesians, you will get a very good overview on this issue. Briefly though, here is a quick checklist for doing relationships (any kind of relationship) correctly :
1. Don't engage in sexual immorality.
2. Treat each other with the fruits of the Holy Spirit which are found in Galatians 5 particularly.
3. Act and serve others in the love of Christ. That means with willful surrender for the other persons own good.
4. Excersise grace when having arguments and try hard to see the other persons viewpoint. Love the person even if you strongly disagree. Show them the truth that the Bible says then leave it up to their conscience and the working of God thru their conscience on the matter. Pray for them.
5. Do all you can to help Another person grow emotionally and spiritually. Walk alongside that person and learn from each other. Shower them with the love of Christ that Christ has shown you.
Upvote
0
Similar threads
