Are parents responsible?

[ZiSunka]

Should parents be held responsible in any way when their children violate the law?

If a child goes to a party, gets drunk, steals a car and causes a fatal accident, do the parents have partial culpability for not keeping track of where he was and what he was doing prior to and at the time of the accident?

 

[MrJim]

What age span are we talkin' about?

 

[ZiSunka]

What age span are we talkin' about?

0-17

 

[MrJim]

toughie

Some cultures kids over 15 marry and are responsible for family by the time they are 17.

This day and age I would have to say yes, I am responsible for my children while they are in my household up to at least that age. Now the responsiblility is to a lesser degree as they get older, but should a parent go to jail too if the OP happens? Good question-I'll ponder...

 

[ZiSunka]

Or should the parents have to pay compensation to the victims, even?

Maybe the funeral costs, hospital bills, etc?

Do you think you would keep your kid on a shorter leash if you had to pay for the stuff he does when he's unsupervised?

 

[MrJim]

Or should the parents have to pay compensation to the victims, even?

Maybe the funeral costs, hospital bills, etc?

Do you think you would keep your kid on a shorter leash if you had to pay for the stuff he does when he's unsupervised?

Sure, anyone would.

For example:

An old boss of mine said that the gov't could stop drunk driving right now if they wanted.

First offense: 25 years hard labor in prison
Second offense: Hanging

Offense involving death of innocent: Hanging

Crude but effective.

So could harsher penalties curtail problems--sure, it won't eliminate but would reduce.

 

[ZiSunka]

Sure, anyone would.

For example:

An old boss of mine said that the gov't could stop drunk driving right now if they wanted.

First offense: 25 years hard labor in prison
Second offense: Hanging

Offense involving death of innocent: Hanging

Crude but effective.

So could harsher penalties curtail problems--sure, it won't eliminate but would reduce.

I don't know. One of my employees had three offenses of drunk driving, the second involving prison time, the loss of his license, the loss of his job and a divorce. He still had the third offense anyway. If a person is an alcoholic, prison time aint' going to fix 'em.

 

[Jehane]

Perhaps if the govt put in place laws that supported parents who were trying to control rebellious children we would see some progress? I know of quite a few parents whose attempts to control unruley teens have been sabotaged by govt agencies that aid & abet thechildren in their rebellion. Can you then still hold a parent culpable? Jehane

 

[Mattacious]

I think to a certain degree.

 

[ZiSunka]

It certainly is a complicated issue.

I think in certain cases, the parents might need discipline or even punishment as much as the child does.

There was a case recently where parents left their 15 year old home while they went on a Lake Erie cruise for a week. While they were gone, the kid got drunk, got in the family mini van, ran into a playground when she passed out behind the wheel, and hit four children, one of them was seriously injured. In my mind, those parents neglected their child by leaving her with no anchor (no pun) to help her keep from doing stupid things. It came out that the parents routinely leave the kid while they travel on the Great Lakes for long weekends, and the child was rebelling against being left alone every weekend. The parents said they didn't take her along because she is fat and boring and didn't fit in with their social circles.

In my mind, those parents are repsonsible for running that car into that playground. It's really a stuggle for me to not judge them that way.

 

[Danfrey]

I don't have a problem with leaving a teenager alone, but I do have a problem with the attitude of the parents. I wouldn't hesitate to leave my 16 year old by himself if I was going to be away for a weekend. Granted, I trust his judgement.

 

[ZiSunka]

I don't have a problem with leaving a teenager alone, but I do have a problem with the attitude of the parents. I wouldn't hesitate to leave my 16 year old by himself if I was going to be away for a weekend. Granted, I trust his judgement.

I get the impression that this girl is alone all the time, since her parents have said she's not presentable to their friends and they sound like the kind of people who socialize a lot. But those are just impressions.

My sister started leaving my nephew alone for short periods of time when he was 13, like an hour or so, then as he got older and showed that he was responsible, they would let him get himself off the bus (before that, either my sister or her husband was always home when he got home), and by the time he was 17, he could be by himself for a whole weekend. They didn't leave him home alone for a week until he was 18, and even then they had the neighbors on call if he ran into something he couldn't handle.

I think 15 is way too young to be home alone with absolutely no adults for a week.

 

[Jehane]

My 16 yr old has had a couple of jobs recently where she could have stayed by herself for several nights in a row. She is very responsible & sensible & dh & I would have given permission for her to do this. Instead she has chosen to go to the places she needs to & do what has to be done each day rather than stay there. She feels safer knowing there are adults in the house who are ultimately responsible for her. I guess too being part of a moderately large family being on your own is not seen as half the fun it might otherwise seem. No-one to talk to, tease, play games with or commiserate if you're feeling down. Everyone needs someone to connect to so perhaps that's where the problems begin. If that's so there's a lot of unconnected kids out there.

 

[Erinwilcox]

My parents do not have a problem leaving me alone for the weekend--except I'm never just alone--I usually have the rest of the kids with me, too...we all range in age from 18-3. There are people who I can call if I get into a bind.