Approaching a Guy?

[Journey.In.Grace]

I will admit. I am not very good with guys. I am shy and my social skills could be better, but have significantly improved over the past two years. At my church there are what is called "connection classes", which are basically sermons as the pastor is preaching his own from across the street, and these classes are for different ages and people in different life stages. The one I go to is for college or for people from 18-24. There is this guy there; he is cute and he seems really nice. I have only sat next to him in the past couple of Sunday's, but never really said anything other than "Yeah, you're fine!" and "Sure!" when he has asked to sit next to me. He is currently on a missionary trip so I won't get to "officially meet" him until this Sunday. We have spoken briefly back and forth on Facebook, and he just seems like a really nice guy! And a devoted Christian, which I admire.

As someone who strives to be a Godly woman, my focus is on the Lord, and I pray every night that my focus will remain on Him. However, the human flesh part wants to get in the way. A part of me wants to approach this on a friendship/Spiritual standpoint, and get to know him and form a friendship, and whatever is God's Will I am content with; but there is that small part that wants a relationship with a good Godly man, despite knowing and telling myself my focus should be on God and only God. How can I approach this guy with the intentions of friendship and letting whatever happens happen, without coming across as someone who is seeking a relationship (which I well know I am not prepared for), and come across as the person I truly am: Someone who loves God, is kind, and can make a terrible cheesy joke, who earnestly seeks to develop a friendship? And if said friendship develops, how can I keep a friendship going or know that it is developing further?

 

[PinkPearl]

I will admit. I am not very good with guys. I am shy and my social skills could be better, but have significantly improved over the past two years. At my church there are what is called "connection classes", which are basically sermons as the pastor is preaching his own from across the street, and these classes are for different ages and people in different life stages. The one I go to is for college or for people from 18-24. There is this guy there; he is cute and he seems really nice. I have only sat next to him in the past couple of Sunday's, but never really said anything other than "Yeah, you're fine!" and "Sure!" when he has asked to sit next to me. He is currently on a missionary trip so I won't get to "officially meet" him until this Sunday. We have spoken briefly back and forth on Facebook, and he just seems like a really nice guy! And a devoted Christian, which I admire.

As someone who strives to be a Godly woman, my focus is on the Lord, and I pray every night that my focus will remain on Him. However, the human flesh part wants to get in the way. A part of me wants to approach this on a friendship/Spiritual standpoint, and get to know him and form a friendship, and whatever is God's Will I am content with; but there is that small part that wants a relationship with a good Godly man, despite knowing and telling myself my focus should be on God and only God. How can I approach this guy with the intentions of friendship and letting whatever happens happen, without coming across as someone who is seeking a relationship (which I well know I am not prepared for), and come across as the person I truly am: Someone who loves God, is kind, and can make a terrible cheesy joke, who earnestly seeks to develop a friendship? And if said friendship develops, how can I keep a friendship going or know that it is developing further?

Just befriend him and treat him the same way as how you treat all your other friends. As for the rest, just let nature take its course. If he happens to fall for you someday, then great, go for it! ^^

But at the moment, just focus your attention on expanding your social circle instead.
The best relationships usually starts from friendships anyway. Hope I managed to help. Good luck.

 

[MotherFirefly]

I would agree that you shouldn't hold back from befriending him, but make sure you are attempting to befriend multiple other people, too. If you focus only on your friendship with him, you may give off that impression that you are wanting to avoid right now.

I admire you for wanting to do things in such a pure mindset.

I hope everything works out great for you!

 

[Rasnosauj]

I admire you for wanting to do things in such a pure mindset.

Yeah I agree, you have a good mindset. I love that you go for Godly men. I'm the same way, in being not experienced in social relationships. I'd make out on the first date, which I'm trying to change. You should start with increasing your friendship and see if he has the qualities you are looking for in a boyfriend.