Anyone else struggle with jealousy?

[RainWave23]

Seeing other couples, especially close friends and going to weddings, does anyone find themselves getting jealous of what they have? Not like you aren't happy for them or don't want them to have what they have, just wishing you could have the same thing and growing more impatient with it. I was wondering if anyone else struggles with this and what I could do to help me over come it?

 

[waterbear]

Sometimes, but I don't make much of an issue of seeking a mate and I much personal development to do - reminding myself of that usually directs my attention elsewhere.

 

[RainWave23]

Sometimes, but I don't make much of an issue of seeking a mate and I much personal development to do - reminding myself of that usually directs my attention elsewhere.

That's good advice, thanks

 

[JPPT1974]

No not really because I look at it now as if the Lord doesn't want me to marry. And for others to marry for the Lord's will.

 

[sweetlambofgod]

I'm so with you!

 

[theophilus05]

Something that should take your mind off of it is something Ive been told for a long time. "Being the right person is as important as finding the right person." You have to be the right person though to find the right person. Just focus on what kind of person God wants you to be and everything will fall into place. Thats what I do and granted Im not married and I dont have a girlfriend I still stick to this advice.
In Him,
Matt

 

[Brutus/HisCatalyst]

It can get really rough when you are chillin out with a few friends, and you're the only single. I just turn to prayer, but it's still tough.

 

[renaistre]

...I was wondering if anyone else struggles with this and what I could do to help me over come it?

I get these same feelings from time to time, but not ususally from the things you mentioned. For me it's mostly certain kinds of melodies, certain types of weather, or certain kinds of roads. I have no idea why. Reading that back it sound even stranger than I thought.

But whatever. I think the advice about focusing on self-improvement is good. Personally, I think reading the book of Revelation helps too. It gives both hope of things to come and a better perspective of life on earth. And really, just finding somthing to do that keeps you busy can do wonders.

 

[Starcradle]

I confess to being struck by the silent rumblings of jealousy, yet not necessarily due to witnessing the fortune of others (although I am not immune to that.) It customarily is produced by other circumstances and involves the precious affections of very particular individuals.

I have pondered this very subject in recent times and consider that it is a manifestation of distrust in God that He will provide for my profound needs. There is no genuine necessity to grasp what I love tightly--I am to love all things upon this temporal earth with an open palm while yet being as committed and loyal to the individuals I hold dear as the Lord would have me to be. I endeavor to recall that He is my Source and irrelevant of who fails or disappoints me, I am complete in Him. This is truly a liberating principle!

I will stop now, lest I continue rambling!

 

[wis]

I am not jealous. I see wedding is a start of other interesting life so I pray for a couple that they will not divorce or have death married. I think divorce and death married are more terrible than being single.

Anyway, in wedding, everybody includes guests are surrounding by something beautiful that makes us feel like in a sweet dream, but it was in only one day. When the couple get up in another day, it is another story. When a couple starts living together, there comes argument, fight, dispute, responsibility, sacrifice, and sometimes boring. In this time I won't jealous anymore. When God approve that my personality is ok. to survive in marriage, He will send my honey.

 

[welshchick]

I can sympathise with what you're saying RainWave. I do get pangs of jealousy when i see other couples about - although i don't get it all the time. One of the things i really don't like is when all my family is together - they're all married, or in serious relationships - apart from me, and so it really grates on me, just seeing them all together being ‘lovey dovey’, and me just sitting there going “great, this is fun”!

However, if its God’s will for me not to have a boyfriend right now, then so be it. His Will is sovereign – He knows me better than I do, and so He knows what’s best for me. I have to accept that and ask Him to make me the person He wants me to be so that I can have a relationship with the guy He wants me to be with

There's no saying it's easy though!

 

[ChrisWins]

Seeing other couples, especially close friends and going to weddings, does anyone find themselves getting jealous of what they have? ... just wishing you could have the same thing and growing more impatient with it. I was wondering if anyone else struggles with this and what I could do to help me over come it?

I don't have that problem and the reason why is God.

First of all I don't believe "jealous" is the right word. Being jealous generally involves: being hostile towards a rival, being intolerant of a rival, or being vigilant in guarding a possession.

No one's stepping up to be a rival to your singleness or to try to take that away from you. You're not protecting it because you'd give it away in a heartbeat for the right person.

I think because jealous isn't the right word - you're coveting what they have. You're longing to have marriage and a mate and kissing and yada yada yada, all that stuff.

Colossians 3:5 mentions, along with fornication and evil desire, amongst other things, "covetousness, which is idolatry"

Colossians 3:6-7 goes on to say: "Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them."

Should we be living a life now that includes being covetous? No.

What is covetousness. I hope everyone knows. It's the desire for possessions or another's possessions; could also be a craving for possession.

Are you desiring the things the married couple has?

Do you know what Hebrews 3:5 says? "Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

Be content with such things as you have. Wow. [I've just stopped for several minutes to reflect on those words... practically speechless I am at how amazing that is and how that speaks volumes about how we should live our lives.]

Be content. I don't need another North Face jacket because I like it, I have what I need now. I don't need more DVDs and CDs, even thought I'd like to have them, I don't need them, I am content with what I have now. I don't need a marriage because I am content with being single now. If I am blessed with a new North Face jacket I will enjoy having it. If I am blessed with a marriage I will enjoy having it.

But right now I am content.

Philippians 2:14 "Do all things without murmurings and disputings"

"Come on, God, I'm ready for someone now, I'm lonely, I'm sad, being single just sucks... I see happy people at weddings, why not me? What's going on here? Why not me?"

Does anyone dispute God like that? Does anyone murmur about singleness like that? (I know some of you do, come on now, raise your hands, don't be ashamed, admit it so you can move on.)

Look, I'm not saying I'm perfect but there are some of us who (more than others) have accepted singleness as God's way for our life right now.... and we are content with it. Now, there are times when we can feel a little down and blue... but we learn to deal with those times. To dwell in sadness does a person NO good.

To sit around with your face in a tub of ice cream crying about loneliness watching romantic movies does a person no good. If you've just lost someone then I can understand initial tears and a period of getting over that person. For some it may be longer than for others. Certain relationships don't warrant any tears whatsoever. But the point is to not dwell. Don't drag on periods of darkness and sadness.

To dwell in sadness does a person NO good.

God's arms are ALWAYS there for us. He's right there. When someone's down and blue and sad and coveting the happiness displayed by some kissing couple... focus your attention OFF that and turn to God. If you let Him, He will take you out of such feelings... but you have to be open to that. Are there things that interest you in this world other than cuddling up with the mate you don't even have? Turn to God, ask Him to help you focus immediately away from coveting that which you do not have, turn to those other interests in your life, indulge to your heart's delight.

Be content with what you have. That includes being content with being single, all alone, just you and God. If you refuse to be content in singleness then you're going against what God wants for you. I know perfectly well it can be a struggle sometimes, especially after losing someone. I've been there, believe me, I've freakin' been there and I've been there to such a point where if I abandoned God some people'd not even blame me... but I've always kept my faith. I strive ALL the time to learn more about Christ and to increase my LOVE for Christ and to increase my conformity to Christ... let me tell you - that's what God wants for ALL of us but you simply can't do that, too, if you're coveting and murmuring and not continually working hard to be content in singleness.

 

[VivDaGurl]

Sometimes, I do feel a little jealous especially when both couple or either one of them is younger than me. After the wedding is over, I'm alright with it and don't really seems to be bothered too much about this. God's timing is the best...so, better wait for His timing.

 

[Glorianna]

Seeing other couples, especially close friends and going to weddings, does anyone find themselves getting jealous of what they have? Not like you aren't happy for them or don't want them to have what they have, just wishing you could have the same thing and growing more impatient with it. I was wondering if anyone else struggles with this and what I could do to help me over come it?

Definitely. But it's a bit different with me because I'm engaged and in a long distance relationship with my fiance. I still struggle with this though because I at least want to be near my fiance if I can't be married to him yet.

 

[RainWave23]

I don't have that problem and the reason why is God.

First of all I don't believe "jealous" is the right word. Being jealous generally involves: being hostile towards a rival, being intolerant of a rival, or being vigilant in guarding a possession.

No one's stepping up to be a rival to your singleness or to try to take that away from you. You're not protecting it because you'd give it away in a heartbeat for the right person.

I think because jealous isn't the right word - you're coveting what they have. You're longing to have marriage and a mate and kissing and yada yada yada, all that stuff.

Colossians 3:5 mentions, along with fornication and evil desire, amongst other things, "covetousness, which is idolatry"

Colossians 3:6-7 goes on to say: "Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them."

Should we be living a life now that includes being covetous? No.

What is covetousness. I hope everyone knows. It's the desire for possessions or another's possessions; could also be a craving for possession.

Are you desiring the things the married couple has?

Do you know what Hebrews 3:5 says? "Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

Be content with such things as you have. Wow. [I've just stopped for several minutes to reflect on those words... practically speechless I am at how amazing that is and how that speaks volumes about how we should live our lives.]

Be content. I don't need another North Face jacket because I like it, I have what I need now. I don't need more DVDs and CDs, even thought I'd like to have them, I don't need them, I am content with what I have now. I don't need a marriage because I am content with being single now. If I am blessed with a new North Face jacket I will enjoy having it. If I am blessed with a marriage I will enjoy having it.

But right now I am content.

Philippians 2:14 "Do all things without murmurings and disputings"

"Come on, God, I'm ready for someone now, I'm lonely, I'm sad, being single just sucks... I see happy people at weddings, why not me? What's going on here? Why not me?"

Does anyone dispute God like that? Does anyone murmur about singleness like that? (I know some of you do, come on now, raise your hands, don't be ashamed, admit it so you can move on.)

Look, I'm not saying I'm perfect but there are some of us who (more than others) have accepted singleness as God's way for our life right now.... and we are content with it. Now, there are times when we can feel a little down and blue... but we learn to deal with those times. To dwell in sadness does a person NO good.

To sit around with your face in a tub of ice cream crying about loneliness watching romantic movies does a person no good. If you've just lost someone then I can understand initial tears and a period of getting over that person. For some it may be longer than for others. Certain relationships don't warrant any tears whatsoever. But the point is to not dwell. Don't drag on periods of darkness and sadness.

To dwell in sadness does a person NO good.

God's arms are ALWAYS there for us. He's right there. When someone's down and blue and sad and coveting the happiness displayed by some kissing couple... focus your attention OFF that and turn to God. If you let Him, He will take you out of such feelings... but you have to be open to that. Are there things that interest you in this world other than cuddling up with the mate you don't even have? Turn to God, ask Him to help you focus immediately away from coveting that which you do not have, turn to those other interests in your life, indulge to your heart's delight.

Be content with what you have. That includes being content with being single, all alone, just you and God. If you refuse to be content in singleness then you're going against what God wants for you. I know perfectly well it can be a struggle sometimes, especially after losing someone. I've been there, believe me, I've freakin' been there and I've been there to such a point where if I abandoned God some people'd not even blame me... but I've always kept my faith. I strive ALL the time to learn more about Christ and to increase my LOVE for Christ and to increase my conformity to Christ... let me tell you - that's what God wants for ALL of us but you simply can't do that, too, if you're coveting and murmuring and not continually working hard to be content in singleness.

Thanks so much man, you gave me a whole new perspective on things. Thanks a lot! Pray for me!

 

[RainWave23]

I'm so with you!

awe you are so cute!