any truth to the notion " mommy's boy and daddie's little girl"?

My daughter tends to favor me over her mom, but I tend to think it has more to do with differences in parenting style.

Conventional thought (which seems to have held true for us before adolescence) is that fathers are their daughter's first boyfriend and mothers are their sons first girlfriend. Further, that women marry their fathers and men marry their mothers. It isn't 100%, but both are often true...

My boys tend to stay "mama's boys" as adults. My daughters grow up and don't feel the need to ask mom about every little thing. The boys...oh my...from car buying to girlfriends to what classes to take...they're either here or on the phone with mommy. Case in point...Oldest son came home from Iraq. Wanted to buy a car. Mom HAD to go with him to look at/buy car, get insurance, yadda yadda yadda. Boy was 24 years old, 2 time combat vet.

Girls...not so much. They confide in daddy but they tend to stand on their own two feet more.

I always referred to my father as the weekend father and it had nothing to do with divorce or anything like that. It was because he worked night shift and we only saw him on weekends. My Mom worked for the school district and worked in the same elementary school all of us kids attended. That was a pain because no matter how much trouble we got into they knew what happened before we could even tell her our side or what had happened. My mother has said that if she could do it all over again, she would have worked in a different school that none of us attended.

Now my sister always did things with my Dad. I remember him taking time off from work to be there for her during her high school years, but I also remember him being there for me once I got out of college. Teaching some things he knew about auto mechanics and negotiating the sale of a vehicle and much much more. As for my Mom she taught me a lot of things, but some would say it might seem a little strange because for her she was raised by her brother as her Mom died when she was very young and her Dad died before she was born. But when you have a son with multiple health issues you have a tendency to do some things when people don't understand...well he looks normal enough doesn't mean he is. I am referring to epilepsy. There are many different illnesses where people can't see the problem.

I remember spending quite a bit of time with my grandparents, my Dad's parents, my grandfather taught me how to use a push mower and his riding mower. My grandmother taught me how to bake. When she passed I inherited all her recipes and her kitchen aide mixer and all its attachments. I also inherited a lot of their furniture and paintings, paintings that my grandmother had done. My daughters have got her gift.

I remember my grandmother saying to me "always remember this, marry a woman who knows how to bake or know how to bake so you can teach her"...I ended up marrying a woman who had no idea how to bake and I had to teach her. She came from a house where her mother would take one shortcut after another out of laziness or because she did not have the proper ingredients. So instead of looking up the proper substitutions, she would guess or say this is the same color, so this will work. I had my work cut out for me. My wife has since become quite the accomplished chef in the kitchen and our kitchen aide mixer is from the 80s, I remember when my grandmother bought it.

My daughters had both shown an interest in baking at the age of 3, so we took advantage of that by working with them right then. My grandmother always said that if they show an interest at an early age, use that to your advantage because it may not last forever.

Yoona86 said:

LOL, that is a good thing isn't it? I mean your boys still want to talk to you about things, I know so boys grew up and they are so busy focusing on their own lives, their moms hardly get to hear from them any more

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I guess it depends on the family...in my family, my parents look at it like this: when my sister calls or e-mails, it is a treat because she seldoms does that. With my brother and I we talk to them at least 4 days a week and we speak to both Mom & Dad about different things.

Now you have to understand something, my sister has been like this since the day she walked down the aisle for high school graduation. She walked out the door and never looked back except when her and her husband had kids for the first time, then she wanted help and she moved back in with our parents for their help for several months. But whenever my parents needed her help with their health issues she would always manage to up and disappear and leave it to me and my brother to deal with. First time it happened my brother was 14 and our Mom had cancer for the first time. She has had it three times always someplace different. My Dad was always doing what he could, but he knew it meant working to keep the health insurance and relying on his sons to take of their mother.

My sister decided to get all concerned and make all kinds of contact with my parents this year. She had this gene test done to find out if she was a carrier for the cancer gene. After three of her four boys were born color blind and that she was the carrier for that because that is passed from father to daughter when the father is color blind. So she wanted my parents to go through all these gene sequencing tests. They thought about it and asked my brother and I what we thought. We both thought the same thing, we already know what our risks are of various things. If she wants to know then let her find out on her own, do we think that you as our parents should do the same thing...no way. Don't do it just to make her happy, exactly what has she done to help out the family as an adult all she has done is run away from our family. We are not saying she would be cut out of anything later in life, but sometimes you need to realize their are consequences for your actions. So when they told her, they told her a lot more gently than my brother and I would have that they had no intention of doing any gene testing for anybody no matter what. There are some things they choose to handle when it falls on them and not knowing about it ahead of time would be better. For my parents they said that knowing what they could be carrying and get can be depressing especially at their age and they would rather enjoy life and not fear it.

I feel constantly hurt. My daughter is only three months old and already prefers her father. It isn't that I want her to prefer me over him, it is that I want us to be equals. But we aren't to her.

I thought this would happen when I was pregnant and found out I was having a girl...I was disappointed..

I hope my next one, if I can have another, is a boy..

With my niece, she is closer to her father than her mother. His son was closer to his mother than his mother...however, when they got divorced she became very angry with his Mom which I won't go into here, but that was his Mom's doing. I will say for my sister's boys she is closer to some than others and the others are closer to their Dad.

My sister actually saw a time when two of her boys switched from being closer to their Dad and became closer to their Mom.

A friend of mine said his daughter was really close to him in the beginning, but in time she really latched onto her Mom. He said his wife was so apprciative of that change because there are things she would rather do with Mom that he just did not want to do and a Mom would love to do.

Bottom line is this, your baby girl may be bonding with her father right now, but that doesn't mean that it will last. Give it time, she will want to spend time with you.