Any One Out There

[Broken Hearted]

These walls are closing in on me. Today has been the most emotional day Ive had in a long time. Today I had a therapy session and it was the first time that I actually let myself cry or mourn for my brother there. And all these feelings are so overwhelming that the urges of cutting and using are strong. I know Im suppose to let myself feel these emotions but I dont know how to handle all this. I dont like emotions Im suppose to be strong and not cry not feel. I DONT WANT TO FEEL.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

When I feel like self injuring, I try to think of things I can do to distract those feelings, like making jewelry or playing the piano or reading or something. I also journal my feelings so they get out of me instead of stuck inside where I keep ruminating on them. Sometimes just getting out of the house will help, so it reduces temptation.

There is nothing wrong with crying other than it can be uncomfortable. Crying doesn't make us weak, even if it feels weak.

 

[Broken Hearted]

Im really having a hard time with all this. I just feel like giving up on everything just taking the easy way out from all this. I woke up today just feeling so down and like nobody even cares no more. Im just living and thats it just a living shell of nothingness. oh well............

 

[Criada]

We care, sweetie - and more importantly, God cares, more than you can imagine
Praying for you.

 

[Daveithai]

Hey sweetie,

I know that this is going to be a controversial piece of advice.... but self harm isn't always a bad thing. I used to do it (and without going into far too much detail) I really needed to. Sometimes emotional pain IS too hard to deal with, sometimes you get trapped in so many threads coming from so many different directions that getting out is almost impossible, and the more you struggle the worse it gets. Physical pain is something that has an obvious cause and effect, both the body and the brain can make sense of it easily.

For me it wasn't a morbid or vampyric thing, it wasn't about seeing blood, i didn't know why I was doing it. I worked out later that it was the ability of the body to heal physical pain and injury that was helping. It took a long time and many injuries to convince myself that getting better emotionally was even possible. As soon as I believed that I could get better I started making real steps towards making things better for myself.

It was a long road, but I got better and I think you can too. Don't overburden yourself with guilt or feelings of weakness. The more i held back the temptation to self harm the more severe my attacks on myself became, when they eventually and inevitably did happen.

My only advice for you is really to try and be positive. Find something that makes you smile, every day, only if it is a little thing. Begin to take pleasure in all that is wonderful and amazing about the world.

You can do it, sweetheart. x