Any advice please?

[elizabeth098]

Hello, I have been quite troubled lately about this issues one of my ways in pleasing God is to care for people.
So I started w my family. Started off alright, but because I'm very honest, maybe way too honest when talking or making passing comments that I often end up offending the other party. So much so thatI'm seen as the bad person. But isn't caring giving honest replies and all? I don't believe in being tactful if the person is already thinking wrongly, by that I mean having wrong thought a, or maybe doing what they shouldn't be doing. Then I always retreat back to Bthe bible, and I realise how I should be tactful when I read Corinthians . Please help me .

 

[Emmy]

Dear elizabeth098. Jesus has some good advice for us. In Matthew 22: 35-40:
Jesus tells a Lawyer: " The first and great Commandment is: Love God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. The second is like it:
Love thy neighbour as thyself." Then Jesus gives us this great truth: " On these two Commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets." God wants our Love, freely given and no conditions tagged on. What do we do? We start
by treating all we know and all we meet, treat them as we love to be treated:
kindly and always with friendly words. God will see our efforts, and God will approve and bless us. Jesus will give us His Love and Joy, and the Holy Spirit will empower us with His Love, also. We will keep asking God and thanking God, and then share all Love and Joy with our neighbour: all we know and all we meet, friends and not-friends. People around us will notice and treat us the same way. A Christian`s great weapon is Love, Love will overcome all enmity and wrong behaviour. At first it might seem hard, but Love is very catching, and very soon we will turn into God`s loving men and women.
The Bible tells us to " Repent," to change our selfish and unloving ways to
becoming loving and caring: Loving God with all our beings, and loving our neighbour as we love ourselves.
We might stumble and forget some times, but then we ask God to forgive us,
and carry on loving and caring. God is Love, and God wants loving children/sons and daughters. We keep asking God and thanking God, and sharing all Love and Joy with our neighbour; God will also know that we Love God, because we are following God`s Commandments to love and care.
Jesus will help and guide us on our way: JESUS IS THE WAY.
Jesus told us to " ask and ye shall receive" (Matthew 7: 7-8) we keep asking and receiving, and thanking God. I say this with love, elizabeth.
Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

 

[Harry3142]

elizabeth098-

Even when we are correcting someone we must be careful to do it with compassion. And one thing that we need to be extremely careful of avoiding is arrogance. The "I'm better than you are" attitude will offend others more than any other attitude, and has 'short circuited' even advice that was well-intended.

And most of the time actions will accomplish much more than words will. Our own instructions are to show compassion toward others through the practical alleviation of suffering. In Matthew 25 :31ff., Jesus taught his disciples that they were to roll up their sleeves and go to work. Where they encountered hunger and nakedness, they were to provide food and clothing. Where they saw a stranger, they were to welcome him as a friend. Where they saw illness, they were to take steps to cure it. And where they saw those imprisoned, they were to visit them, and by so doing show them that they were not forgotten.

All of these actions require movement, rather than standing still. And this is what the Christlike life focuses on. We are not to stand still while pointing our fingers at others and calling them sinners. Instead, we are to alleviate suffering wherever we see it, and to whatever extent we are capable of doing so. Through our performing these actions we show the benefits of accepting Christ and adopting the Christian lifestyle much more clearly than words alone could ever do.

 

[paul1149]

I don't believe in being tactful if the person is already thinking wrongly, by that I mean having wrong thought a, or maybe doing what they shouldn't be doing.

The key to success is to discern the motivation behind the behavior. People do what they do for all kinds of reasons, and if it's because they are wounded, you could do more harm than good to their soul by reading them the riot act. That's why Isaiah says of Jesus, "A bruised reed He shall not break; smoldering flaxen He will not extinguish". Or you could put them on the defensive if you are unwisely or inappropriately direct.

When Jesus dealt with people, those who needed a battering ram got it, and those who needed compassion got that. Just as it would be wrong to be too soft toward someone who needed strong correction, it is wrong to be too hard on someone who is in the wrong, but spiritually fragile. Twice David said to the Lord, "Thy gentleness has made me great". David knew his sins and unworthiness, and he knew that it was the Lord's forbearance, not anything that David could brag on, that had allowed him to succeed.

You can also read later in the letter of Jude that he advocates differing ways of dealing with differing situations and people. It's all according to what's appropriate to what's going on. But that must be spiritually, not carnally or legalistically, discerned.

You can see the Lord's amazing concern for souls in the wise and caring way the Bible shows us to deal with people. It comes down to loving them and then finding the wise way to help them where they are.

 

[insurchoftruth]

If we say the truth, without love, that hurts. But if we say the truth with love, kindness, politeness, than it is much easier for the person receiving it, to receive it. You see, the human spirit is made to be loved and to love, therefore, often it is not the content of what we say, that hurts, but how we say it. If you say your honest opinion, with gentleness and love, the love behind your message, would touch the heart of the one who receives it, and will influence them in a positive way, because they will feel or perceive the love, behind what you are saying to them.

It is not easy to say always the truth and any honest opinion with love and gentleness, and we all sometimes speak the truth without love or gentleness, but it is possible to do so, by the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us, and he makes us able to express his love in us to others.

 

[timf]

Then I always retreat back to the Bible, and I realize how I should be tactful when I read Corinthians.

John 3:19 And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.

John 6:44 No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day.

Most people do not want to hear truth. You cannot force someone to see truth. Only those that the Father draws to Jesus are going to be receptive to truth.

If you are unsure, you may float comments to someone to gauge their reaction to truth.

1. This is really an evil world. - I agree.
2. People seem almost drawn to do evil. - I agree
3. I know I struggle with the desire to do and say things that are wrong. - I feel sorry for you.
4. I am grateful that Jesus gives me the forgiveness of sins. - Good for you.
5. Do you ever struggle with doing things that are wrong? - What, are you nuts.

Most people are willing to see the wrong in others. Usually those that The Father draws are able to see the wrong in themselves.

Satan wants Christians to attempt to control others and to be annoying to others. The key to understand is that you cannot shame, cajole, educate, inform, alert, or warn anyone that the Father has not made receptive to truth. We need to speak the truth in love and be available if anyone is interested in truth, but we should not expect that those who are unable will see truth.

 

[Arcwood]

Hey EB

I think I can see what you mean abound being honest in the way that you offend them. BUt I most definitely agree it's pretty much futile being tactful with a person who is thinking wrongly.
But often I find it would usually lead to fruitful knowledge because they are often seeking greedily and through your faith they can find it.

I wanted to say


that

 

[parsley]

People do what they do for all kinds of reasons, and if it's because they are wounded, you could do more harm than good to their soul by reading them the riot act.

This reminds me of when my children were babies, and I was getting 4 hours of sleep per night -- month after month. People in church would come up to me and say things like "their socks don't match" when I felt like I could barely keep myself alive.

Take time to listen. Not just ask questions, because that can be intrusive -- but try to sense what people's needs are, even before they say it. Try to help them in practical, non-judgmental ways. You won't make everyone happy, but at least you will help lift some people out of despair.

 

[sophia3]

I think the more you see and experience the love of God for you, you will see more and more people and situations through his eyes. the more you feel accepted by him and see how he sees love, the more you can love another. and then he will show you his heart over the people around you.

 

[turned around]

Hi,
We are not to be the correctors of the world. I tried it for years, not a good place to be. When we eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, we still die(poison).

 

[turned around]

Hi,
We are not to be the correctors of the world. I tried it for years, not a good place to be. When we eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, we still die(poison).