Another Question For The Guys

Tenorvoice · Mar 12, 2004

just be yourself and quit playing games with the guys our minds do not work in the same way the womens do. We are not wired the same way and are not expected to be. The one thing that I know that I have a problem reading is the "hidden" signals that women "send" out. Can anyone explain these to us?????

Starcradle · Mar 12, 2004

Tenorvoice said:
just be yourself and quit playing games with the guys our minds do not work in the same way the womens do. We are not wired the same way and are not expected to be. The one thing that I know that I have a problem reading is the "hidden" signals that women "send" out. Can anyone explain these to us?????

Ironically, I have been the exact opposite with men, in that I detest playing games and therefore make my sentiments known (and not in a premeditated fashion, I allowed some time to transpire so as not to overwhelm them.) In my experience, however, they have not taken well to it and no, I was not "flaunting" myself in any fashion or demonstrating a sort of desperation (at least I hope I did not give that impression!) The men I have encountered seem to love women who are hard to get, not very kind, nurturing or sweet, and rather aloof.

Whatsoever went wrong in these situations, I am now blessed to have the Lord in my life and He will be choosing my mate, if I am designed to have one.

If you have had women play these types of games with you, Tenor, I am truly sorry. We are not all like that! I find it both futile and tedious to have to "pick up on hidden signals."

Starcrystal · Mar 12, 2004

Starcradle,
Whatsoever went wrong in these situations, I am now blessed to have the Lord in my life and He will be choosing my mate, if I am designed to have one.

If you have had women play these types of games with you, Tenor, I am truly sorry. We are not all like that! I find it both futile and tedious to have to "pick up on hidden signals."

Starcradle...... Starcrystal, I hope no one gets us mixed up!!

There are women who give off "signals," but these are games. Usually the ones doing that I've found are not really in the Lord. I'm not saying Christians don't do it, but that sounds like stuff I used to see at parties and bars before the Lord delivered me from all that.

I wouldn't look for signals from girls, but rather SIGNS from God. God knows how to confirm things. A girl can look at you and check you out because your'e cute, but other than looking, she's not interested in anything else. A lot of guys misinterpret these kind of actions as "signals." And sometimes they are, sometimes they're not.
And guys give off signals too by the way!

Thats a good call, "God will be choosing my mate." If we let God in on this, we can't fail. If we're in the Lord we should be approaching this much differently than people who don't know God.

two feathers · Mar 12, 2004

Breetai said:
I like a girl who lets me know when she's interested. If she doesn't, then I'm going to loose interest. She doesn't have to outright tell me that she has a crush on me, but she should show some signs; flirt, tell me that I'm funny, cute, smart, stuff like that. Act different around me then with other guys. I'm not going to ask anyone out that acts the same with me as she does with other guys.

Exactly.

Starcradle · Mar 13, 2004

Starcrystal said:
Starcradle...... Starcrystal, I hope no one gets us mixed up!!

Nice name, by the way.

There are women who give off "signals," but these are games. Usually the ones doing that I've found are not really in the Lord.

I agree.

Thats a good call, "God will be choosing my mate."

Thank you.

If we let God in on this, we can't fail. If we're in the Lord we should be approaching this much differently than people who don't know God.

Agreed. Recreational dating is simply not Scriptural and therefore I will not be engaging in it. I believe it is best to forge godly friendships and if a male among them is designed to be my mate, God will place it upon both our hearts. We will thereafter discuss it and seek God's will in prayer (together and separately.) If the Lord is giving us the "green light," we can court one another--as in interview for marriage--because it is pointless to date if that is not your ultimate desire and objective.

Apollonian · Mar 13, 2004

Why not moderate between the extremes?

What is "hard to get" except a methodology which forces (gives both necessity and opportunity to) a guy to pursue you, to "win you over"?

What is "being bold" except an intentional attempt at communicating beyond subterfuge and pretense?

In other words - I would say that you should never intentionally prevent yourself from communicating with a guy. If you're interested, let him know. But, then simply hold him to a high standard. Almost inevitably, he will rise to meet it if he is interesting and knows that you are as well. Basically, be blunt about your intentions but don't settle for anything less than his best effort at winning you over!

Final answer: "both"

Furthermore, whatever you do, never cease being yourself. If ever you try too hard to act when he knows you otherwise, trouble ensues. If, however, you keep it real even if you blunder things a bit - all should work out (and should also provide some comical memories regardless of what happens). It is the strangest thing when crushes ensue that we should imagine the other person as perfect. It is then not so remarkable that we should take the imperfections in one another to be the greatest attractions, since they assure us that we ourselves do not have to be perfect to yet still be attractive.

Godspeed,
Apollonian
20/M INTJ

Starcrystal · Mar 13, 2004

Starcradle,
Agreed. Recreational dating is simply not Scriptural and therefore I will not be engaging in it. I believe it is best to forge godly friendships and if a male among them is designed to be my mate, God will place it upon both our hearts. We will thereafter discuss it and seek God's will in prayer (together and separately.) If the Lord is giving us the "green light," we can court one another--as in interview for marriage--because it is pointless to date if that is not your ultimate desire and objective.

This is as well said as it can get

Dating is just playing the field, and thats what the world does. Scripture teaches a man leave his mother & father and be joined to his wife. Dating opens the door to immorality, or at least the temptation for it. It also sets one up for heartbeak.

If one is designed (or designated) by God to be your mate, God WILL lay it on both your hearts. Thats exactly how it was with me and my wife. We became friends, shared 99.9% in common (Now THERES a good sign!) and we both knew almost right away, but neither of us brought it up for a couple of months. And when we did, it wasn't some simple superficial thing like "I'm interested in getting to know you on a deeper level," or "Will you go out with me?" Nor did we come right out and say, "Will you marry me?"

It was more like we were really close, could talk about anything, including emotions & feelings (Which a lot of guys have problems discussing) We just sort of naturally grew in love and when we talked about it we saw that God had given us tons of signs....

That is a marraige ordained and led by the Spirit. Dating is led by human choice and can often fail you...

"Delight thyself in the Lord, and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."
~ Psalm 37:4

guardian · Mar 14, 2004

yep its kinda hard to alway know when a girl wants you,but i can usually tell,but i,ve had long experience lol! womem often find me attractive. the clues that tell me are the body lanuage ones. i don,t have a problem reading women ,but the strange thing is i constantly reject women even though they make it obvious that they want me eg.they give me their phone numbers and addresses and try to get me alone with them,but because of my fear and distrust of women i mostly reject ,even though i,m really goodlooking. i feel deep down that i cant really ever trust a woman with my heart!

smash_kate · Mar 14, 2004

hello, just beee careful looking for a guy. he's gotta be christian that reads the bible and does what it says. otherwise you are looking for trouble.

1 corinthians chapt 7 read that k?

----Kate

toyotafan · Mar 15, 2004

I agree with Busk

Im a guy Im sorry.... Lol

jameseb · Mar 15, 2004

tinkerbell said:
I have heard it said that guys like girls who play "tough to get" and I have also heard the exact oppisate that guys like girls who aren't afraid to be bold. i was just wondering what your thoughts were on this. (examples would be good) thanks.

I haven't read through this thread yet, but I can imagine you're getting answers on both sides of the fence. Some guys like a good challenge.... others like a girl who's less inclined to play 'games.'

Jeremiah the Bullfrog · Mar 15, 2004

I like people that are honest and straightfoward even if it means that they have to tell you something that you do not want to hear.

Ceris · Mar 16, 2004

I would like a girl who is simply honest. She doesn't have to be bold necessarily, but I really don't like playing those "hard to get" games.

michael112174 · Mar 16, 2004

I dont like "hard to get"...i like "easy to get along with"

xtxArchxAngelxtx · Mar 16, 2004

i over analyz things a lot and if a girl plays hard to get it turns me off.... I just want a girl to be blunt and obvious about her feelings (within moral moderation).

Philippe2 · Mar 21, 2004

Playing tough to get is playing with my feelings, just do not be cheep.

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