Another getting to know you????????

[Katydid]

How many children have you been blessed with so far? What are their ages? and if you don't mind, what are there names? If you are uncomfortable with giving out names then you can use aliases.


Ok so here is mine...

I have a stepson Gavin 9 years old

Justin is 5 years old

Lara is 3 years old

and Simon is 7 months old

 

[Katakalupto]

I have one child that is living. Her name is Jewell and she is 2. I have had 3 miscarriages.

 

[oliveplants]

I have a stepson, Z, age 16.
Daughter, T, age 7.
Daughter, N, age 4.
Son, A, age 3.
Son, C, age 20 months.
Daughter, E, almost 2 months.

Stepson lived with us from before we got married (he was 6 then) to age 14, and now he does not.

 

[Jehane]

Son 23
twin sons 19
daughter 17
daughter 11
The boys come & go with work now so mostly it's just the girls still home.

 

[oliveplants]

Katy, does Gavin live with you?
How long have you been married?

Sorry if this is too personal, but having a SS of my own, I am curious.

 

[Katydid]

My stepson lived with us from 2yr.-4yr. then again from from 4 1/2yr.-5yr. Then again from 6yr.-9yr. He is now living with his mother, but if history is accurate, then he will probably be back with us next year. All the switchovers were HER requesting us to take him. So, I have no doubt that she will ask us to take him again.


Mark and I have been married for 7 years, our anniversary is March 22nd.


I have dealt with the good , the bad, and the ugly dealing with a blended family. Thank the Lord, the good outweighs the other two.

 

[oliveplants]

Thanks, I don't want to derail, but that bended family thing sure is challanging! We could probably swap stories for a while if we got started.

 

[Jehane]

Feel free. I'd be fascinated though it's not a challenge I've faced.

 

[Katydid]

Oh, I am sure we could go on forever. It is definately a life that I wish I had been more prepared for when I started. Learning as I went was the hardest part.

 

[AutumnDreamer]

We have 5 so far,

Jenny (19 and came to us when she was 16)
Sara 11
Jacob 8
Katy 5
Joshua (went to heaven at 7 weeks gestation)

We recently met a little boy named Jasper and are praying the Lord will open a door for us to adopt him, and are also getting ready to do our last round of fertility meds praying the Lord will bless us with one more.

 

[oliveplants]

Jehane, you are too kind.

The thing about stepparenting is that nothing is a "given." With bio children, it's pretty much assumed that they will live with you and be there for the holidays, that you and they will love each other, that both parents can make and enforce rules, that both parents will contribute to the child's support... In a blended family, none of that is standard, much less promised.

I don't even want to think about it.

Hey, Autumn, how did you find out the gender of Joshua? I had an early miscarriage between T and N, and never knew the gender or anything. Is this something the doctor normally tells you, did you ask, or just guess? I wonder sometimes what we would have named the baby, and how that would have helped the grieving. I was just in shock at the time and didn't think to ask anything.

 

[AutumnDreamer]

Hey, Autumn, how did you find out the gender of Joshua? I had an early miscarriage between T and N, and never knew the gender or anything. Is this something the doctor normally tells you, did you ask, or just guess? I wonder sometimes what we would have named the baby, and how that would have helped the grieving. I was just in shock at the time and didn't think to ask anything.

The Lord told me before I even got pregnant. When I was pregnant with my three kids I always knew what they were before it was confirmed, so when the Lord told me I would have another son and name him Joshua, I knew as soon as I got pregnant that it was a boy.

 

[oliveplants]

The Lord told me before I even got pregnant. When I was pregnant with my three kids I always knew what they were before it was confirmed, so when the Lord told me I would have another son and name him Joshua, I knew as soon as I got pregnant that it was a boy.

Okay, thanks for sharing! It must be neat to know like that; I don't even get a leaning.

 

[Jehane]

Jehane, you are too kind.

The thing about stepparenting is that nothing is a "given." With bio children, it's pretty much assumed that they will live with you and be there for the holidays, that you and they will love each other, that both parents can make and enforce rules, that both parents will contribute to the child's support... In a blended family, none of that is standard, much less promised.

I don't even want to think about it.

Hey, Autumn, how did you find out the gender of Joshua? I had an early miscarriage between T and N, and never knew the gender or anything. Is this something the doctor normally tells you, did you ask, or just guess? I wonder sometimes what we would have named the baby, and how that would have helped the grieving. I was just in shock at the time and didn't think to ask anything.

One thing I did when I lost a bub about 14 weeks was choose a name that could have been for either sex. I think of them by that name & the gender doesn't matter. It helped me. I had a lot of unresolved stuff as no-one thought I should be grieving but my milk had come in & all sorts of other stuff had happened in my body so when I lost the baby I was devestated.

Thanks for sharing about the step-parenting. It sounds hard.

 

[oliveplants]

One thing I did when I lost a bub about 14 weeks was choose a name that could have been for either sex. I think of them by that name & the gender doesn't matter. It helped me. I had a lot of unresolved stuff as no-one thought I should be grieving but my milk had come in & all sorts of other stuff had happened in my body so when I lost the baby I was devestated.

Thanks for sharing about the step-parenting. It sounds hard.

I can't understand why someone would think you shouldn't grieve over a miscarriage. That baby is just as real as a full-term, just less well known. I didn't mourn long at the time, but my heart sure gets achey when I hear a song on the subject, even now.

Stepping can be hard. I've met people who took right to it, and they and spouse were on the same page the whole way, etc. But it wasn't like that for me. I can feel the guilt raining down to admit it, but things are SO much easier since he moved out.

 

[Jehane]

That I can understand. My boys are men now (but young men still) & it is soo much easier when they aren't living at home. It's not that they do anything bad or wrong. It's just it changes the household dynamics so much & the girls feel the boys take over.

 

[oliveplants]

Thank you, that is very affirming! There is such a pressure put on the stepmother to love the child, think of the child first, etc. It is harder to express negative feelings toward the stepchild than toward the natural children.

But anyway, I know what you mean about boys taking over. My oldest is only 3 and he thinks he should be in charge. lol

 

[Jehane]

Yeh, I guess it's inbuilt. What I have found interesting to watch is that both my girls(with so many brothers) generally have boys for friends. Their girl friends drive them nuts but though they are both strong-minded, capable children they let the boys lead.

On the other hand I'm more of an abstract thinker than a practical hands-on type & everyone in my household wants to organise me! Even (particularly) the 11yr old, who is very energetic as well as extremely capable. I am looking for a deserted tropical island!

Neccessity has made me more practical but my oldest girl & I have had some full-on discussions about the different ways we think & approach issues as I couldn't think of another way to avoid the full-on conflict we were heading for. I still drive her nuts sometimes but she's the child & I'm the adult & it's up to me to help her.

I've waffled. Sorry but you opened up some interesting thoughts (for me at any rate.)

 

[oliveplants]

Yes, very interesting thoughts. I like getting to know you.

I am very practical. DH and MIL will have conversations, and they are both so vague! I walk away not knowing how either of them actually feel about the topic. I will be the first one to ask for an example in a discussion. But then, I like doctrine and theology, too.

 

[Jehane]

I've noticed. Misguided education on my part I expect. I majored in the arts, enjoy the fine arts & can't do math or science at all. Am happy to paddle round with the theoretics forever but please, don't ask me to apply knowlede in any practical way - except scriptually. That is the exception that proves the rule.
Which is why the body is made up of lots of different parts of course! We each are different & bring our differences to make up Christ's perfect whole.