I thought of posting this here because I'm not sure where to talk about this, and I appreciate all responses.
I'm known by most people as a very quiet, kind person who is often very awkward in social situations. Back in high school (five years ago), I had lots of friends and I was known to being outspoken - and even a little bossy. Back then, I didn't have any problems with self-esteem. Most people gave me a lot of respect, and this helped me to do great in high school.
But in college, I became rather lonely and socially awkward. My old friends stopped talking to me, and my family (both parents, older brother, and other close family members) often boss me around and try to tell me what I'm doing wrong. I know this sounds strange, but I feel delusional as if my life isn't real. I feel regretful of how I treated others during high school because I now know how bad it feels to be misunderstood and told what to do. When I try to demand respect from my family, they become angry with my behavior. I feel good whenever I vent about an issue that I'm having. But at the same time, I can't vent because it causes my family to argue with each other.
I personally think I have anger issues that I don't know how to deal with. Looking back, I've realized that I've been lowering my self-esteem in order to prevent myself from becoming angry. I can say for certain that my low self-esteem has caused me a lot of trouble at work. I've thought about talking to a counselor, but I still don't have much money. Therefore, I'm not sure how to deal with this issue.
I greatly appreciate all responses. Thanks again.
I'm known by most people as a very quiet, kind person who is often very awkward in social situations. Back in high school (five years ago), I had lots of friends and I was known to being outspoken - and even a little bossy. Back then, I didn't have any problems with self-esteem. Most people gave me a lot of respect, and this helped me to do great in high school.
But in college, I became rather lonely and socially awkward. My old friends stopped talking to me, and my family (both parents, older brother, and other close family members) often boss me around and try to tell me what I'm doing wrong. I know this sounds strange, but I feel delusional as if my life isn't real. I feel regretful of how I treated others during high school because I now know how bad it feels to be misunderstood and told what to do. When I try to demand respect from my family, they become angry with my behavior. I feel good whenever I vent about an issue that I'm having. But at the same time, I can't vent because it causes my family to argue with each other.
I personally think I have anger issues that I don't know how to deal with. Looking back, I've realized that I've been lowering my self-esteem in order to prevent myself from becoming angry. I can say for certain that my low self-esteem has caused me a lot of trouble at work. I've thought about talking to a counselor, but I still don't have much money. Therefore, I'm not sure how to deal with this issue.
I greatly appreciate all responses. Thanks again.
