Am I resting in "stuff" or Jesus?

[designer mom]

Hi there, I was hoping someone could help me understand where I am putting my faith/trust in this situation.

I was experiencing a great deal of anxiety over finances because our family was barely making our budget every month. We do have an "emergency fund" but we regard it as if it does not exist (because it's only for emergencies). I do freelance design work on the side, and sometimes I'll make a little bit of extra spending money. I know that God will always provide our necessities but I feel like I wanted this extra spending money to increase so that we could buy things that we do not need (like, I want to build a deck onto our house, and I wanted to be able to do recreational activities or go to restaurants). I think that part of my motivation for wanting these things was to impress people, part of it was for people to see God blessing us and "want what we have" (God) and part of my motivation was simply to enjoy them. I know that impressing people is wrong because the only one that needs to approve of us is God, and he already does because he approves of Jesus who lives in us.

Anyway, I was very seriously considering the idea of selling our house or getting another job outside of the house (which I honestly don't have time or energy for). While I was cooking dinner yesterday, a light bulb went on in my head and I realized that we were purposely over-paying our taxes so that we would have a large refund (like a savings account), and that if we simply re-configured the amount being taken out, we would have 25% more income in our pockets every month. In an instant all of my anxiety and worry disappeared into thin air and I was so free of this financial burden.

But then I got to thinking...we technically had enough to get by on before, and I was experiencing anxiety instead of putting my trust in Jesus and finding freedom in him. Is it wrong for me to rest in the fact that we have more income now?

I'm so confused and I feel like I am doing something wrong by allowing myself to feel free/relaxed/content/happy as a result of our financial strain being loosened. Shouldn't I have felt this way before, regardless of how much income we had, simply because I have Jesus and he is all that I need? Or maybe this IS him being all that I need (by helping me see how to better disburse our income throughout the year to release me of my anxiety)?

 

[parsley]

The thought itself released you of anxiety, and I think some of these releases help us grow, and shake us up enough to shift mindsets. Just because something new opens up, doesn't mean it's best to be nabbed. (I'm going through one of those right now, so preaching to myself.)

What has been helping me lately -- to return to that yieldedness where I let go of my fears so much that my own goals are also yielded, and subject to His plan. Yeah I'm not there yet. But to see that God wants to be involved and help is often a hurdle.

When people see that God has provided for us, especially in unusual miraculous ways, then God is glorified. But to get the miracle, we have to let go of fears and control, and watch Him work.

Jer 32:41
I will rejoice in doing them good and will assuredly plant them in this land with all my heart and soul.


Zeph 3:17
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."


Since you're freelancing, you turn in estimated income, so not paying ahead could generate unexpected penalties later... probably not unless you get a huge contract.

Wanting to impress might be part of your business. When you're behind a computer/desk by yourself working, you also need to air yourself out with friends and change of scenery. It's not completely selfish to want to get out, but you could invite friends over for bbq's or start rotation dinners.

If you need more jobs, look into elance.com ... high competition but an idea.

Selling your house and moving will take hundreds of hours, and might feel like it gobbled up your entire year. Interest rates are low and so are house values.

There are no easy answers, but if you're looking for a spiritual solution, I would suggest staying in the Word so you can keep reinforcing how much God wants to help you. Our fears open our way for trouble, and anxieties make us more restless about what we don't have. O rest in the Lord, wait patiently for Him, and He will give you your heart's desires. You might find that your real desires are creative expression, pleasant clients, respect in your field, peace in your house, and just enough money that you don't have to fret over it.

God keeps us on our toes, so humbling ourselves sometimes helps us avoid grief.

 

[Bible2]

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you" (Mt. 6:33).

 

[Humble Pie]

But then I got to thinking...we technically had enough to get by on before, and I was experiencing anxiety instead of putting my trust in Jesus and finding freedom in him. Is it wrong for me to rest in the fact that we have more income now?

Jesus is all we need and part of that is that he provides for us. It looks like you've been blessed with a little extra money to get by on. It's good because when you have money to spend, you will benefit the economy and keep people employed so they can put food on their table. That said, if you're being greedy it's a problem.

 

[paul1149]

Hi DM,

I think it's very commendable that you are concerned about your heart's motivation, and where you are finding your true security. We all need to do that in order to safeguard ourselves from spiritual delusions.

But as I read your story, the verse that came to me was "sufficient for the day are the evils thereof" (Mt 6.34). This discovery of the extra funds is wonderful, and yes it would have been better not to be anxious before it was discovered. But what was, was. The problem isn't having the money or not, it's the anxiety.

I would say not to worry about using the money responsibly (and that can include some fun as well), but at the same time continue to work on the trust issue. I think there is little doubt that life will continue to present situations where trust can be worked on! In the meantime, though, I wouldn't let that ruin your joy at discovering the Lord's provision for you at this time. Receive it as from Him, use it accordingly, and continue to submit yourself to His sovereign faithfulness.

Blessings.

 

[Bible2]

"God shall supply all your need" (Philip. 4:19).

 

[parsley]

Psalms 35:27

Let them shout for joy and rejoice, who favor my vindication; And let them say continually, "The LORD be magnified, Who delights in the prosperity of His servant."

 

[mark kennedy]

It sounds like you worked out a difficult situation, giving thanks seems warranted.

Grace and peace,
Mark

 

[designer mom]

Thanks everyone, all of these answers are really helpful. I am very thankful, and I am feeling better about the whole thing.

 

[parsley]

That's good to hear. It made me nervous to hear of tax money appearing now that might need to be paid later, but we all have the freedom to do that. Just a good precaution.

 

[designer mom]

That's good to hear. It made me nervous to hear of tax money appearing now that might need to be paid later, but we all have the freedom to do that. Just a good precaution.

Oh, no, it's fine. We're still over-paying, but by a more reasonable amount Thanks for the concern though!

 

[Bob Carabbio]

"I think that part of my motivation for wanting these things was to impress people,"

And that's completely natural for a human to feel. but one that the Accuser WILL latch on to, and beat you up with, as he's apparently already doing.

"part of it was for people to see God blessing us and "want what we have" (God)"

I guess I've heard this enought as a "religious Rationaliztion" for your FIRST REASON (to impress) that I wouldn't take it all that seriously.

"and part of my motivation was simply to enjoy them."

BINGO - and God's NOT opposed to you "enjoying" stuff that HE enables you to have, although the Accuser will ALSO latch onto this one big-time. HOW DARE YOU "ENJOY YOURSELF" when people are dying and going to hell, and you're putting a deck on!!!!! SOme great Chrisian YOU are, bla, bla, bla.

"a light bulb went on in my head and I realized that we were purposely over-paying our taxes so that we would have a large refund (like a savings account), and that if we simply re-configured the amount being taken out, we would have 25% more income in our pockets every month."

ANd who do you 'spose turned that light on??? The one who loves you, and wants you to be in peace, or the one who wants you in as much pain and confusion as he can get you into, and wants you in hell when your life is over.

"In an instant all of my anxiety and worry disappeared into thin air and I was so free of this financial burden."

That's a positive sign. the Word says to "let your PEACE be the umpire in the situation". The enemy can't bring "Peace".

"But then I got to thinking."

Actually the accuser started his normal propaganda, that you've apparently bought into, and let him snatch your peace.

"..we technically had enough to get by on before, and I was experiencing anxiety instead of putting my trust in Jesus and finding freedom in him. Is it wrong for me to rest in the fact that we have more income now?"

Same 'ol same 'ol - YOU PHONY!!!! you weren't REALLY Trusting God for your provision before!!! If you were REALLY TRUSTING IN HIM then you'd have been at rest BUT YOU WEREN'T, and you've GOT NO BUSINESS feeling better because things just got better. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU ANYWAY!!!!???

"I feel like I am doing something wrong by allowing myself to feel free/relaxed/content/happy as a result of our financial strain being loosened."

And so you've BOUGHT the enemy's LIE hook line and sinker!!!!!

"Or maybe this IS him being all that I need (by helping me see how to better disburse our income throughout the year to release me of my anxiety)?"

Hmm - and who is it that brings us WISDOM to deal with the tides of life???? suggestion - it's NOT the enemy!!!

What I'd strongly suggest is that you tell the enemy/adversary to stick his confusion/accusation where the sun don't shine, and to take his lies for a long walk off a short pier. SCREAM at him if you feel like it (preferably in private - people might stare), and RESIST him - since then he'll flee from you (for a season anyway).

Remind him that you're PERFECT In God's sight with the very PERFECTION of Jesus Himself (since you're IN Him).

Looks like the Lord handed you a solution to one of your problems - rejoice in it, and don't let the enemy steal your joy.

Incidentally, you ARE selfish, self centered, and to some degree "Flesh driven". Comes with being HUMAN, and as a Christian you're also in a formative PROCESS which over time will work progressively toward CONFORMING you to the very image of Jesus. I've been in this for 50 years, and the end of THAT process is nowhere in sight in my life.

 

[designer mom]

"I think that part of my motivation for wanting these things was to impress people,"

And that's completely natural for a human to feel. but one that the Accuser WILL latch on to, and beat you up with, as he's apparently already doing.

"part of it was for people to see God blessing us and "want what we have" (God)"

I guess I've heard this enought as a "religious Rationaliztion" for your FIRST REASON (to impress) that I wouldn't take it all that seriously.

"and part of my motivation was simply to enjoy them."

BINGO - and God's NOT opposed to you "enjoying" stuff that HE enables you to have, although the Accuser will ALSO latch onto this one big-time. HOW DARE YOU "ENJOY YOURSELF" when people are dying and going to hell, and you're putting a deck on!!!!! SOme great Chrisian YOU are, bla, bla, bla.

"a light bulb went on in my head and I realized that we were purposely over-paying our taxes so that we would have a large refund (like a savings account), and that if we simply re-configured the amount being taken out, we would have 25% more income in our pockets every month."

ANd who do you 'spose turned that light on??? The one who loves you, and wants you to be in peace, or the one who wants you in as much pain and confusion as he can get you into, and wants you in hell when your life is over.

"In an instant all of my anxiety and worry disappeared into thin air and I was so free of this financial burden."

That's a positive sign. the Word says to "let your PEACE be the umpire in the situation". The enemy can't bring "Peace".

"But then I got to thinking."

Actually the accuser started his normal propaganda, that you've apparently bought into, and let him snatch your peace.

"..we technically had enough to get by on before, and I was experiencing anxiety instead of putting my trust in Jesus and finding freedom in him. Is it wrong for me to rest in the fact that we have more income now?"

Same 'ol same 'ol - YOU PHONY!!!! you weren't REALLY Trusting God for your provision before!!! If you were REALLY TRUSTING IN HIM then you'd have been at rest BUT YOU WEREN'T, and you've GOT NO BUSINESS feeling better because things just got better. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU ANYWAY!!!!???

"I feel like I am doing something wrong by allowing myself to feel free/relaxed/content/happy as a result of our financial strain being loosened."

And so you've BOUGHT the enemy's LIE hook line and sinker!!!!!

"Or maybe this IS him being all that I need (by helping me see how to better disburse our income throughout the year to release me of my anxiety)?"

Hmm - and who is it that brings us WISDOM to deal with the tides of life???? suggestion - it's NOT the enemy!!!

What I'd strongly suggest is that you tell the enemy/adversary to stick his confusion/accusation where the sun don't shine, and to take his lies for a long walk off a short pier. SCREAM at him if you feel like it (preferably in private - people might stare), and RESIST him - since then he'll flee from you (for a season anyway).

Remind him that you're PERFECT In God's sight with the very PERFECTION of Jesus Himself (since you're IN Him).

Looks like the Lord handed you a solution to one of your problems - rejoice in it, and don't let the enemy steal your joy.

Incidentally, you ARE selfish, self centered, and to some degree "Flesh driven". Comes with being HUMAN, and as a Christian you're also in a formative PROCESS which over time will work progressively toward CONFORMING you to the very image of Jesus. I've been in this for 50 years, and the end of THAT process is nowhere in sight in my life.

Thank you! This was incredibly helpful to me! I really appreciate you taking the time to chime in here

 

[christianleader2012]

we all make mistakes but just let jesus take control of this he will work in you and allow others see the diffrence in you and thats the way that there going to come to know him jesus loves us all even before we loved him but just relax its going to be a bumpy right the hardest thing to do in life is the christian walk but jesus will guide and direct us and others will come to know him because of your example.