Am I In Love?????

[missygirlc]

My best friend and I weren't always best friends. We broke up about a year ago.He says that he still loves me and is willing to wait for me until I realize that I love him . We are both going to be attending the same college this year. He is incredible. I need some outside advice. Everyone who knows us is kinda' confused because he's madly in love with me, but I'm not sure how I feel. We're not dating, and yet we talk on the phone for 3-4 hours every night, go off with each other atleast once a week, etc. If I list some things about him, could someone please tell me if I sound like I' m in love?
He always makes me laugh
He makes me feel safe
He is who I imagine marrying one day(but that can change I guess)
He has the same goal in life (to minister to teenagers)
Sometimes I just can't wait until I see him
He loves my family and they love him
He loves God
He's open about how he feels
He's willing to wait for me to realize that I am in love with him
He doesn't push me into commitment
He's kind
He's generous
He burns with desire to serve God and I do too.
Somebody Please Help! It's so hard for me to know if I love him as a friend, or something more. I don't want to date anymore unless I'm sure that he's the one. I don't want to wait so long that I miss God's will for me.

 

[HolyOne87]

He sounds like an awesome guy. If I were you, I would go out with him.
Maybe give it a try with him. He seems like a wonderful guy. Plus you both have very similar interest.
I'd give him a chance..to see how it is..and then take it from there.

 

[Arclight610]

My best friend and I weren't always best friends. We broke up about a year ago.He says that he still loves me and is willing to wait for me until I realize that I love him . We are both going to be attending the same college this year. He is incredible. I need some outside advice. Everyone who knows us is kinda' confused because he's madly in love with me, but I'm not sure how I feel. We're not dating, and yet we talk on the phone for 3-4 hours every night, go off with each other atleast once a week, etc. If I list some things about him, could someone please tell me if I sound like I' m in love?
He always makes me laugh
He makes me feel safe
He is who I imagine marrying one day(but that can change I guess)
He has the same goal in life (to minister to teenagers)
Sometimes I just can't wait until I see him
He loves my family and they love him
He loves God
He's open about how he feels
He's willing to wait for me to realize that I am in love with him
He doesn't push me into commitment
He's kind
He's generous
He burns with desire to serve God and I do too.
Somebody Please Help! It's so hard for me to know if I love him as a friend, or something more. I don't want to date anymore unless I'm sure that he's the one. I don't want to wait so long that I miss God's will for me.

Hmmmm... sounds pretty close to dating to me.

-Tj-

 

[JourneyRain]

One if God really wants something to happen in your life, you will NOT miss it especially if you are trying to serve God. There is a difference if you are saying NO, I won't do it and you can't make me.

Two, the notion of the "one" isn't truly biblical.

It sounds like you care a lot about this guy. Just date him and see what happens.

 

[Markus6]

You're asking on an internet forum if you're in love??
Sorry honey but you are going to know far better than any of us. My advice is in the form of the lyrics from a song:

If you wanna know if he loves you so it's in his kiss. That's where it is!

 

[miss_klara]

There are no set guidelines for love. It feels different for everyone.

If you think it might be love, then hey, it might be!! But make sure you're not confused by his feelings. Even though he's not putting any pressure on you, the fact that he's so mad about you might be a little confusing, and cause you to see something there just because he does. Like people-pleasing, but on an unconscious level...? Ummm people-pleasing is the wrong term, because in no way do you sound like you're compromising yourself and what you feel, for his benefit, but it's the closest situation I can come up with. I'm confusing myself here.

Look at it very diplomatically, search within yourself. Don't listen to other peoples' confusion at your relationship. Just because outsiders think there's something more there, doesn't mean there is. But there might be! I definitely don't want to squash that possibility, but I do want you to be careful, because in the very least, you sound like you have an amazing friendship with this guy, and that's something to treat carefully...

 

[unconventionality]

The only way you'll be able to know if you love him is by asking yourself. If you are unsure then give it a go, ask him if you can take things slow. But keep in mind that guys, even if they have good intentions can disregard all rationality when they are in a heat of the moment. Just pray. And keep praying. If you are willing to give a relationship a go, then just tell him that you're unsure but you want to see where it goes. There's no rush. You'll be okay.

 

[peanutbutter12]

Is he responcible?
Is family important to him?
Does he have goals set and is reaching to achieve them?
Does he show respect to everyone?
Is he hard-working?

If yes, then by-golly, give the man a chance. If he knows how to treat a lady, understands that a relationship is a 2 way thing, will be able to take care of his family financially, then it sounds like you've scored a winner.

CJ

 

[keyz]

My Grandma says that if God puts Dick, Harry, and Eugene in front of you and they all are Christian men then take your pick!

God's will for you is that you marry someone who is a Christian. Don't spend your life panicking about finding "the one".

In Jeramy Clark's book, I Gave Dating a Chance, he says..

Wouldn't it be great if there were some automatic signal to show u the right person to marry? ... I struggled for years trying to determine how I would identify The One. I constantly questioned whether the girls I date were "God's will for my life." And all the time I wondered if there really was just one person--one person alone--who was right for me.

I've become convinced that getting wrapped up in finding the one person who's right for you can damage your relationships. It can take your focus off Christ and place it on yourself. If you're consumed with knowing whether or not a person is The One, you may break emotional boundaries trying to find out. In your intense search, you may also drag a relationship beyond its natural course.

He then goes onto say..

What I am convinced of is this: God's will is that you become the person He desires, and not that you become obsessed with your search for The One.

There is a lot of other good stuff. You should read the book. It was a good read.

I don't think the question should be if you are "in love". I think it needs to be is this a Godly relationship that is worth pursuing? God calls us to have Godly relationships with one another.. that can be had with a lot of people.

Don't let a fear of missing God's will run your life.

 

[AceHero]

There are no set guidelines for love. It feels different for everyone.

If you think it might be love, then hey, it might be!! But make sure you're not confused by his feelings..

Right. Love isn't about feelings, it's about commitment.

 

[missygirlc]

Thanks for the advice. I'm not depending on responses from people, I just wanted some advice/opinions from people who are not involved in the situation. Thanx for the recommendation of the book. I'll try to get it. God Bless!

 

[intricatic]

Sounds like it to me.

 

[Inperfected]

Heres my question to you... actually questions.

Is the man you want to be with long term, or best friend forever?

Could you imagine life without him?

If you two were to kiss/hold hands etc would you be disgusted or enjoy it?

 

[missygirlc]

Heres my question to you... actually questions.

Is the man you want to be with long term, or best friend forever?

Could you imagine life without him?

If you two were to kiss/hold hands etc would you be disgusted or enjoy it?

We're best friends right now with the agreement that maybe one day, (If God gives me peace about it) that we'll be more.

I can't imagine my life without him. But, I don't know if it's because I love him or I love him as my best friend.

I wouldn't be disgusted if he kiss me or held my hand. We kissed once and it was my first kiss. It freaked me out and I broke up with him shortly after that . It was too much too soon for me. I think that a kiss is a big deal.

 

[Blank123]

it sounds to me like you at the very least do really like him as more than a friend, whether or not you love him only you can say. But from what you've said it wouldn't exactly shock me if you decided you did love him

 

[hasnoname]

My best friend and I weren't always best friends. We broke up about a year ago.He says that he still loves me and is willing to wait for me until I realize that I love him . We are both going to be attending the same college this year. He is incredible. I need some outside advice. Everyone who knows us is kinda' confused because he's madly in love with me, but I'm not sure how I feel. We're not dating, and yet we talk on the phone for 3-4 hours every night, go off with each other atleast once a week, etc. If I list some things about him, could someone please tell me if I sound like I' m in love?
He always makes me laugh
He makes me feel safe
He is who I imagine marrying one day(but that can change I guess)
He has the same goal in life (to minister to teenagers)
Sometimes I just can't wait until I see him
He loves my family and they love him
He loves God
He's open about how he feels
He's willing to wait for me to realize that I am in love with him
He doesn't push me into commitment
He's kind
He's generous
He burns with desire to serve God and I do too.
Somebody Please Help! It's so hard for me to know if I love him as a friend, or something more. I don't want to date anymore unless I'm sure that he's the one. I don't want to wait so long that I miss God's will for me.

If you have to ask and then qualify your desire...it is safe to say it is probably not love. Seems to me you are just trying to get some positive response to date him (nothing wrong with that). You have a great list of good things about him, so why say no.

God gave us romantic love so that we could better understand His love for us. But it is something he gives us, not something we necessarily stumble upon. Anyone can fall in love...but romantic love through God is amazing. It is in His will completely and he will truly bless it.

Remember, first Adam loved God, then he loved Eve. He did not even know Eve before he walked in the garden of Eden conversing with God.

 

[missygirlc]

If you have to ask and then qualify your desire...it is safe to say it is probably not love. Seems to me you are just trying to get some positive response to date him (nothing wrong with that). You have a great list of good things about him, so why say no.

God gave us romantic love so that we could better understand His love for us. But it is something he gives us, not something we necessarily stumble upon. Anyone can fall in love...but romantic love through God is amazing. It is in His will completely and he will truly bless it.

Remember, first Adam loved God, then he loved Eve. He did not even know Eve before he walked in the garden of Eden conversing with God.

I am more in love with God now than I have ever been. In September I will have been saved for 8 years. God has shown Himself to be real to me so many times in the past but especially in this past year. I can honestly say that I am walking where He wants me to and with Him. I just have such a desire to be in His perfect will in every aspect of my life that sometimes I'm so afraid that I'm going to make a wrong move or not make a move at all (not just about dating and marriage ) and mess up. I guess that's why this is so difficult for me right now.

 

[keyz]

I am more in love with God now than I have ever been. In September I will have been saved for 8 years. God has shown Himself to be real to me so many times in the past but especially in this past year. I can honestly say that I am walking where He wants me to and with Him. I just have such a desire to be in His perfect will in every aspect of my life that sometimes I'm so afraid that I'm going to make a wrong move or not make a move at all (not just about dating and marriage ) and mess up. I guess that's why this is so difficult for me right now.

You also need to keep in mind that God is much bigger than you and any mistake you can make... meaning, while his will is perfect and he is sovereign, that doesn't mean that you will be perfect in that. His perfect will will involve the good, bad, and ugly. His grace is big even when you mess up or fail. You need to be okay with the fact that you may mess up. He'll use your good and bad experiences to shape you as a person. It's so vital that you become the person God has created you to be.. the more we understand who we are and who God has created us to be, the more we will walk in the ways that God has called us to.

As for your relationship troubles.. God's will for you is that you pursue relationships where God is your center. God has made that clear. Who you do that with is up to you. As you pursue those relationships that are God centered, I think you'll see that God will reveal things about the relationship that you need to know and understand.

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

love is a choice,
not a feeling.

 

[missygirlc]

Thanks Keyz