I was never diagnosed with depression but sometimes I wonder if I should have been. I remember when I was younger, I was always so sad. I smiled but most of the time I would be feeling very empty. As time went by, I went to church and tried to be happy but again, I was always so sad inside; no matter how much I loved the Lord, I couldn't concentrate on worshipping Him or putting my heart into it. In my early teenage years, I became suicidal, cutting was a big thing, and I started to write poetry -- I think the poetry helped a bit. When I was 15, I fell in love. The cutting stopped and I was temporarily happy but that relationship was a dead end and left me crying again. Now I'm in another relationship and for a few short months, I was happy but now I think I'm losing it. Happiness is a fleeting thought for me, it was never here to stay. I fear that the same feelings of sadness I felt before might be coming back to me. I don't want it to come back but I feel it near.
This is where I ask my question. For most of my life, I've felt down and worthless. Despite the few joys I experienced, I always found myself to be empty and sad inside. Nothing seems to keep me up, I can't explain why I'm always sad, I just am. For the past few weeks I've been feeling like this... so sad with no reason... I want to know if I really am depressed or if I'm just having a tough time in my life at the moment.
I don't know what to make of this.
This is where I ask my question. For most of my life, I've felt down and worthless. Despite the few joys I experienced, I always found myself to be empty and sad inside. Nothing seems to keep me up, I can't explain why I'm always sad, I just am. For the past few weeks I've been feeling like this... so sad with no reason... I want to know if I really am depressed or if I'm just having a tough time in my life at the moment.
I don't know what to make of this.
