You’re offended that your husband doesn’t share your specific tastes in jewelry. Why? He’s a man. You asked for emerald earrings and he got you emerald earrings, and he probably thought they were beautiful. Knowing exactly what you prefer would be hard, unless he’s a jeweler or jewelry hobbyist. I’m baffled because my mother was the same way. She was offended by practical gifts, so my dad got her jewelry, and she’d laugh or scoff at it at Christmas, and it broke my heart to see, because I knew my dad had done his best and he was so sensitive about her reaction. He’d sometimes go quiet, sometimes explode. Often he’d bring us girls to help pick gifts, but we weren’t any better. One time I approached my mother privately and said, “You can’t expect thoughtful gifts at Christmas and then make fun of Dad’s choice.” I got the third degree for that, but she did stop. I guess none of us understand her expectations or tastes, but it wasn’t because we didn’t know her or care. It’s because we couldn’t read her mind, and I suppose some part of her assumed we all have similar thoughts about what plays into taste – which simply isn’t so.
My husband and I had a few “misfires” early in our marriage. Attempts at the perfect gift, which were not exactly what the other would have chosen. I got him a knife set and he got me a pressure canner, but both of us eventually acknowledged (long after the Christmas thank yous) that we would have bought a different style. So we agreed, after much discussion, to cut out the surprise element and just buy what we wanted ourselves. Saves money, gets everyone what they want. He knows I support his knife hobby, and I know he supports my canning hobby. We don’t need to pretend to surprise each other to prove that. We haven’t exchanged Christmas gifts in years, and it’s awesome! He was initially hesitant because we grew up with Christmas being such a big deal, but gifts are not our “love language.” It sounds like it may be yours… which means you must be very specific about your wants, or else pretend he gets it right.