Am I An Addict?

[Jack-O'Driscoll]

So I have been drinking for a long time, but as self medication. I suffer from cluster headaches, and alcohol is the only thing that I've found that gets rid of the pain (aside from the hard drugs I used to take before I became serious about my faith). However, I got completely plastered a few days ago, more so than I ever have before, and I've realized I don't feel good unless my headaches are gone, which means I only feel good when drinking. However, drinking has never effected my schooling, or relationships or anything.

I've been to a single AA meeting at this point. I think I can quit on my own, because I'm not sure I'm an addict in the full sense. Should I continue with a twelve step program, where I don't feel I have the same issue as others who attend, or should I try just getting an acountabilty mentor from my church? My only hesitance come from the fact I had never been wasted before and I don't view it as a problem, just something I don't want to be dependant on.

 

[madison1101]

So I have been drinking for a long time, but as self medication. I suffer from cluster headaches, and alcohol is the only thing that I've found that gets rid of the pain (aside from the hard drugs I used to take before I became serious about my faith). However, I got completely plastered a few days ago, more so than I ever have before, and I've realized I don't feel good unless my headaches are gone, which means I only feel good when drinking. However, drinking has never effected my schooling, or relationships or anything.

I've been to a single AA meeting at this point. I think I can quit on my own, because I'm not sure I'm an addict in the full sense. Should I continue with a twelve step program, where I don't feel I have the same issue as others who attend, or should I try just getting an acountabilty mentor from my church? My only hesitance come from the fact I had never been wasted before and I don't view it as a problem, just something I don't want to be dependant on.

I would suggest you seek medical attention from your family doctor and a neurologist about the headaches, and ask your doctor to evaluate you for alcoholism. There are plenty of people in the AA rooms who started out as teenagers.

 

[Jack-O'Driscoll]

Have actually seen both, and I have tried countless pain killers, blood thinners, stimulants, even anti-depressants and bi-polar medication doctors usually wouldn't perscribe unless I had either of those deseases. All of them perscribed. And none have worked.

The AA I went to the other day to check out was called Young Drunks, and it is specifically for teen alcoholics. I do have a family history of alcohol and substance abuse also, which is why I am very paranoid about all this. But yeah, I will ask my doctor when I go in next week.

 

[Hupomone10]

So I have been drinking for a long time, but as self medication.

Look at it as though you're on a journey, on a road. It is not bad now, but follow it to the end of that road. See where it leads. I started drinking as a Christian mostly to self-medicate. Not for headaches, but for resentment and depression regarding issues in marriage. No matter the reason, whatever becomes reason enough for you, that is reason enough; and you have to battle that reason as an enemy to your sobriety.

I even self-medicated a few times after being an alcoholic, because I found out that alcohol, for whatever reason, eliminated my continuous back pain. I have a degenerated lower disc. For a few days after drinking heavily, the back pain totally went away. My doctor said he knew of no connection. I had to view it for what it was, a temptation to drink and thus destroy my life at the expense of a few days of no back pain. I decided to be sober and put up with the back pain. Now, God seems to be graciously (3 years later) granting relief from the back pain.

Self-medication is perhaps the worst reason to drink. It is different from social drinking or just drinking for relaxation. When I began self-medicating drinking, it was a road downward from that point. That was the pivotal point when alcohol soon began to take over. From what it did to me, I can only encourage you to RUN, RUN, RUN. You will regret it if you don't; you will be thankful if you do.

However, I got completely plastered a few days ago, more so than I ever have before, and I've realized I don't feel good unless my headaches are gone, which means I only feel good when drinking.

Realize that the enemy's strategy in our lives is to convince us that life is all about how we feel. Then you will begin to focus on winning the battles of life, and the peace, assurance, joy, fulfillment that comes from that, rather than how we feel.

However, drinking has never effected my schooling, or relationships or anything.

I remember when that was true for me, too. And then later, I remember when I began to just tell myself that. It's a journey you're apparently on; one that many of us have been down.

I think I can quit on my own, because I'm not sure I'm an addict in the full sense.

Then do it. Be the laboratory experiment and try it. Choose as of today NOT to drink ANY MORE, and don't down that road of self-medication ANY LONGER. If you can, you don't need it.

If you can't do it, you will have done yourself the greatest favor; you will have proven it was your own alcoholic thinking telling you you could, and that you are powerless over alcohol; and your recovery and richness in the Christian life will begin. And you'll know you belong with a 12-step program.
H.

 

[mysteria]

i think there are alternative ways to get rid of headaches besides alcohol dude

 

[Hammster]

I would suggest bringing this up with your elders/pastors.

 

[Hupomone10]

I would suggest bringing this up with your elders/pastors.

Very good suggestion. I believe you will find them more understanding and helpful than you might think. I have done this and confessed to them things I won't even mention here and always found them in my corner and helpful. You won't shock them.

 

[shoprag]

I got on this forum just a while ago, and your post is the first one I opened. My wife of 23 years started drinking beer on a steady basis a couple of years ago. Her problem is stress. She is up to about a six pack every afternoon. When I talk to her she cuts down for a while. I am worried because she has a brother who is a complete alcoholic. He already has cirrhoses of the liver, and he drinks on.
It is a little hard for me to complain to her, because I had a drinking problem for several years. i quit 14 years ago. I drank to calm down and to be able to deal with life. I had to learn how to cope with stress and bad days after I quit. Before, I tried to ration myself to a couple of beers, but I couldn't control it. My mind would lie to me and tell me that I was entitled to it, that it was a simple pleasure that I deserved for my hard work. You might want to study yourself honestly and ask yourself if there is no other way to deal with your headaches. I had to be hard on myself and honest in order to quit alcohol. I prayed with my neighbor one afternoon while I was drunk. A few weekends later my wife was waking me up (from the floor) to get me to go to bed and she said that I scared her. I couldn't remember. That is when I had enough and set a date to quit completely. I did not go to meetings or join any groups, but I prayed a lot, and it was very hard (for me). Now I am dealing with my wife, and I am scared to death that she is headed in the same direction. Sorry I wrote so much. Don't know if I have any advise that you can use. I can only tell you how I did it.