Am I a Religious OCD?

[Lisa0315]

First, my Mom is definitely OCD. She functions, but she has her routines. I never thought I was OCD until it hit me this morning and I realized what I was doing. I am embarrassed by what I do but I am going to tell you about it anyway.

My Mom walks around the house checking the stove, the doors, and the windows, saying, "Off, Off, Off", and "Locked, Locked, Locked". She has to touch each knob on the stove and each lock on the doors and windows. Sometimes once is enough, and sometimes, she will go through this routine over and over. It has been over twenty years since I lived with her so I do not know if it is worse or better since she lives alone.

Mine is not like that. Mine is mild in comparison and maybe it is not even OCD. I am already on a Seratonin medication for depression so maybe that helps. I just repeat phrases but I whisper so that no one can hear me. I have done this my whole life. I also find myself doing something similar when I am praying. The phrases I repeat over and over are "I hate you" and "Help me"

I do not have any "routines" although I do have to do things in a certain order and I count everything. They call me Rainman here at work. I do not repeat like my Mom does though.

I have been praying for God to help me serve him without guilt and this morning it was like a light went off in my head that this constant feeling of oppression and guilt is not because I have done anything wrong but because there is a problem. Do you think this is OCD? I think it might be at least a mild case.

Lisa

 

[kaykay08]

Lisa,
I don't know specifically what you are dealing with enough to give you much insight, but religious OCD does often manifest in guilt. Usually, it's some obsession such as fear over blaspheming the Holy Spirit or excessive scrupulosity about sin etc. If you go through some of these threads, the kind of things represented here are pretty typical.

I didn't realize that this was something I struggled with until about 4 or 5 years ago. A counselor recognized it. I had handwashing compulsions as a child. I don't have those kind of rituals anymore. So I didn't recognize that I was dealing now with religious OCD. I knew I was dealing with something that was a problem, but I didn't know its name if that makes any sense.

And I would add that I think there is a "spectrum" of struggling against OCD from very, very mild to very severe.