Am I a failure?

[jecruz7]

I am new to this group - had to turn somewhere.
I am a mother of a 3 year old, 2 year old and one month old- all girls, and married to a man for four years. I love the Lord with all my heart. I smoked since I was 16 on and off and I am not 22...my last quit date was less than a year ago. I had to come here to have somebody to talk too. I need help, big time. I feel like a failure.
My husband used to smoke Black and Milds - hes been stressed lately - we both havent smoked for almost a year...
hes been mentioning the fact he wants to smoke- I am very weak - I cant deal with hearing that without WANTING to smoke...
well last night he mentioned it again, and I went over it with him, telling him its a waste of money, its a bad addiction, it wont benefit us, etc.......
He said he was still going to get cigarettes, and he did...he smoked one, and so did I...and I had another and another and another... not good. wheres my strength!?
In the evening I called him and told him how guilty I feel , like I totally let God down, and asked if we could throw them away...he did that night. however, I woke up and saw the pack in the garbage...guess what? that morning, I wanted another one so I took them out of the garbage to smoke one with my coffee...felt guilty as always and called my friend of high faith who talked me out of it, telling me how God wouldnt want me to smoke and that its an attack...so as I was on the phone with her, I ran them all under the water and threw them into the garbage . YEAH FOR MEEEEEE! (yeah okay)...
so did good, my other friend called and invited me and the kids over to visit so I left to go to her house knowing I would discuss the situation with her and be encouraged -NOT!!! she comes out and tells me SHE is smoking now too!!!!! man did I almost pee myself...well she gave me one of her cigarettes...and guess what? i left buying a carton - now me and my husband are smoking and I feel so guilty. I feel "Why is God letting me have these children?" and "What if he takes them away because I am smoking now and not listening to him"????
i really feel like I am disobediant and not living right now.... please help.

 

[ladyt28]

No, you are NOT a failure! Quitting can be quite a process and Satan just LOVES to use it as a means to discourage Christians! The fact that it bothers you when you fell off the wagon lets me know that you still want to be a nonsmoker. Go to these web sites and see if any of them might be able to help you:
The BEST Christian one is: www.settingcaptivesfree.com (http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com)
For cold turkey: www.whyquit.com
American Lung Association: www.lungusa.org
There is a Christian quit group at: forums.quitnet.com

I will pray for you - I know the feeling, this quit is my ....oh my, I have forgotten how many times I've gotten on the wagon! The only thing that matters is getting back onn that wagon. God speed my sister!!

 

[Evie1980]

ladyt28 is right - you are not a failure. I can't tell you how many times I have quit. I am up to a year and 4 months of not smoking though it was hard and I had smoked on and off for the 10 years before that!

Quitting is not easy and there are going to be times when you will want to give in and sometimes you do give in to the temptation. You have to learn to forgive yourself your mistakes, repent of your sin and learn how to overcome next time you are faced with the same challenges. The road is not an easy one to walk down but it is what you want and you can make it in the end. Keep trying and you will succeed.

God bless, Evie

 

[Nobility]

What these ladies have said is so true.

You listen to it hun

 

[sn315on]

*HUGS* You aren't a failure at all. Quitting is a hard road, there's always going to be some sort of roadblock up. "Won't power" is something hard to keep up with. I will pray for you.

 

[Marvin123]

Hello Jecruz7 welcome to the forum,

Every one is absolutely correct, you are not failure, but you need support which you didn't get from your husband and friends. They are the most important people whose support we need when we decide to quit our addictions. Well the good thing is you want to quit...you reached almost 50% of your goal with that.

The first step you need to do some changes in your thinking. Be optimist and change way of living a little. Some modifications are to be taken regarding the activities that you have associated with habit of smoking. You will notice a great change in you with just changing the way of dealing them.

Marvin.
Free effective stop smoking tips

 

[SarahsForgiven]

Dear this is why it is called an adiction. As far as a failure, you are not. The enemy got you in moments of weakness. If you stay strong in the Lord he will not have a crack to sneek in. Buy lots of lollie pops. It gives you something to do with your hands and mouth. Just don't think because you fell you are a looser so y why try. Your are not a failure, you are human. Lollie pops helped me but other things can help too. When you get stressed go for a walk, play with your kids, do something constructive. Think of your children. A cigarret takes 7 minutes off your life, that 7 more minutes you could love your kids, 7 more minutes you can enjoy some day being a grand parent, 7 more minutes you could be with your husband. If your daughters came to you smoking you would most likely flip, am i right. Well baby see baby do. I know when i saw my daughter imitating me smoking i turned a corner. I love her too much to let her down.