Alternatives to spanking

[tim58]

We have a daughter who is a typical rebelious teen. We don't spank and are interested in what other parents use as an alternative.

My wife works in a school and is not adverse to dishing out an essay or punishment exercise, usually along with a grounding. We also know one mother who makes her child copy out verses of the bible. We find that grounding for a short period, coupled with an essay, is more effective than a long grounding during which our daughter just sits around.

Tim





Tim

 

[I'ddie4him]

We have a daughter who is a typical rebelious teen. We don't spank and are interested in what other parents use as an alternative.

My wife works in a school and is not adverse to dishing out an essay or punishment exercise, usually along with a grounding. We also know one mother who makes her child copy out verses of the bible. We find that grounding for a short period, coupled with an essay, is more effective than a long grounding during which our daughter just sits around.

Tim

I have found that along the same lines as an essay, Extra homework or working ahead in the books works also. Or even assigning a book report that they turn into you.

 

[Katydid]

By the time I reached teen years, my dad, being military, had a huge store of methods that will work. Most of them completely harmless, but very uncomfortable. We did things like flutter kicks, push-ups or front leaning rest for a specified period of time. Let's just say that when my brother and I went to Basic Training we were prepared for much of it. With teenagers, I think you have to get creative. Spanking won't work on a teen anyway, so alternatives is all you have left.

 

[I'ddie4him]

By the time I reached teen years, my dad, being military, had a huge store of methods that will work. Most of them completely harmless, but very uncomfortable. We did things like flutter kicks, push-ups or front leaning rest for a specified period of time. Let's just say that when my brother and I went to Basic Training we were prepared for much of it. With teenagers, I think you have to get creative. Spanking won't work on a teen anyway, so alternatives is all you have left.

My dad was ex army himself and found many creative ways to get us to stay in line.

 

[Jenna]

Yeah, spanking teens is not usually recommended. It only cultivates anger and rebellion in children who are so close to adulthood.

Maybe I am odd, but I'm not sure that I'd use schoolwork or bible copying as a punishment. It seems to me that it may create a dislike for studying the bible, and make learning less than fun, on a whole. I think that an essay is a good idea, but that maybe it should be geared toward something non-school related.

Grounding never worked for myself or my siblings, so my parents utilized the opportunity to have a cleaner house. The more rebellious and dumb we were acting, the more work that we had to do. I think that the exercising is a good idea also. If there is going to be activity taking place, used as a disciplinary tool, shouldn't there be something good coming out of it? Sure! Maybe that's why I love these ideas. The teen serves their family, and they make themselves more healthy. Groovy.

 

[Princessperky]

As a teacher I found that copying made the normal writing task so much worse, and while it was often effective short term I don't know that the loss is worth it.

For a teen (I do not have one, but I recently was one) I think talking about what exactly the problem is is often overlooked, (Now I don't know you,so you might already) but suppose the deal is 'back talk' in my teen years I was under the impression that consisted of anything other than my mothers version of life, so my opinions were back talk, rather irritating. I do not think she ment to keep me quiet, she seems to like my opinions now (sortof) but now they are voiced in the I statements and such.

The other concern I had as a teen was my parents constant assumption that I was wrong (true about 50% of the time, but never an apology when I was right) So the assumption that a kid never does homework was that I must be slacking off (actually did it in school) Fortunatly my mother did take my side after the report cards came in. (come to think of it, I have never in my life heard an apology out of eihter parent, might have helped, since they were always expecting them out of me.)

I do have a toddler and I can tell you he acts just like most of the teens I know, except his stomping is a bit quieter! I so want to find a toddler when I have a teen so they can see how silly they look. Oh and Anikan skywalker, I no longer feel sorry for Darth vader he is a spoiled cranky teen who decided the world was against him. ( Which is the general opinion of most teens) (apologies if you are anti starwars)

 

[Andry]

I'm not touching this thread with a ten foot pole. I mean, shebet. Oops, I mean, rod......... :o

 

[tim58]

I agree the essay should be non school related. We wouln't know how to set one based on an academic subject anyway! My wife usually assigns an essay on 'Respect' for answering back or 'Honesty' for lying etc.

Tim

 

[Katydid]

I'm not touching this thread with a ten foot pole. I mean, shebet. Oops, I mean, rod......... :o

But Andry, this one is right up your alley. I think you would have good ideas on how to deal with this.