Alone; Good, Bad, or Cursed?

[silkamilkamonico]

OK, so maybe cursed is a wrong way of putting it...

But to those of you that are single, and want to be married, or with someone....

Do you ever wonder if God intends for you to be alone?

Whether you want to be alone or not?

I'm getting that message from him, and as much as I hate to believe that God doesn't want me to be with anyone, sooner or later I'm going to have to come to the conclusion, that maybe that's just what he wants, whether I agree with it or not.....

For you older single people, discuss.....

 

[fishstix]

I don't know that I'd equate being single with being alone. Single people can be around friends, other family members, people in the church, etc. Singles don't have to live alone either - there's such a thing as roommates. And of course, we always have God.

God may want me to remain single. And if that's what He wants, it's fine with me.

 

[BlackSaab52]

I really don't want to be single the rest of my life. I don't know if I could handle it. I just worry that that's what will happen to me, though, and that there's nothing I can do about it.

 

[silkamilkamonico]

Well, I was hoping people would understand what I was getting at with the initial post, but maybe not and that's ok.

I wish I was married, or had someone to share intimate feelings with.

It's hard to have urges and not be able to do anything about it.

What does the Bible say about having your testicles cut out.

I wonder if that would solve probolmes with urges and whatnot.

It would just be easier to not have those feelings, then to have those feelings if God intended you to never use them.

This is one of the few things about the Bible that I don't understand. How John says it's better to be alone then to marry. But then why the urges? It's like punishment of human nature.....

 

[BlackSaab52]

Yeah, I feel the same way. I want to be with someone I can love and share my feelings with, too. I don't want to spend my whole life wanting to love someone but never being able to. I worry that God will want me to be single, but I want to be with someone, so why would I feel this way if it was God's plan to be single? Does He want to torture me? Or does He have someone waiting for me, and I just haven't found her yet?

 

[stormgade4]

I guess being single is a good thing for right now because I just started a business. This means I work all the time, stressed out a lot of the time, and have little money to spare.

 

[findinghope06]

I really don't want to be single the rest of my life. I don't know if I could handle it. I just worry that that's what will happen to me, though, and that there's nothing I can do about it.

id have to agree. i really dont think God wants me to be single for the rest of my life. maybe for a while but not for the duration that im here. but if im wrong, God will make me my happiest as a single person.

....but i reallly realllly want to get married someday!

 

[koban4max]

You know, I don't really care if i'm single or not. Maybe in this life-time, I'll probably just live and die. It's all "gravy" to me. I'm still finding my life..and ...i'm looking forward to it.

 

[BlackRain]

being single is exactly what i need to be right now. it's a good thing!! sure, i'd love to be married one day with lots of little kids running around, but i'll just have to wait, now won't i?

 

[Glory2Him]

I think it takes a strong person to be single for the rest of their life. They really have to be willing to follow God's plan for them to a "T". Some people God does want to be single for ministry work, to travel and become a missionary, things like that. But God also wants you to be happy, not to suffer and be lonely and miserable.

And while I often ponder, myself, if I am to be single (FOREVER!!!).....I think I am in this position for a reason. If I am supposed to be single for the rest of my life, maybe God has other plans for me. Maybe He doesn't want me to get hurt anymore or maybe he wants me to witness to others. (A job maybe that could not be accomplished if I was married)
Maybe since you are worried about being single so much, think of other things that could consume your time. Take up a hobby, maybe working out? drawing, reading....just something to occupy your time until God shows you what he wants you to do. That's what I am trying to do anyway.......
If anything, this is teaching us singles how to be patient and content with where we are in life, no matter the situation. Afterall, when in life do you demand something and it is immediately given to you?

 

[mina]

I guess I'm supposed to be single right now, cause I am and there are literally no guys that I know anymore or that I know of to date. Sometimes I feel like I'm the one that's cursed and am just too shy, ugly, awful, etc. to attract anyone. But I really hope that that's not true that that God has it in His plans for me to marry someday.

 

[Alejandro]

I guess I'm supposed to be single right now, cause I am and there are literally no guys that I know anymore or that I know of to date. Sometimes I feel like I'm the one that's cursed and am just too shy, ugly, awful, etc. to attract anyone. But I really hope that that's not true that that God has it in His plans for me to marry someday.

I think many of us (singles) feel that way too.

I basically do. I try not to think of it too much.. but I keep asking myself.. where do I go wrong?? I just don't want to go out with anymore just for fun.. but there's really no one and it's not my type going to clubs and meet other women.

I am shy, but never hold me before.. until now..

anyways.. just to let you know.. you are not alone.

 

[koban4max]

I usually try to humor my words, but from the real talk: don't you think we all should just go with the flow...and focus on more on god than having a partner? No offense of anything...
sigh..it's just that...i notice people are somehow losing faith...please..don't...
I ask you all that we all focus on god and don't care about being single or couple.
Not all of us are going to be couple or single. God already made life for us...why struggle
when the dayz he already made is there for us to follow?

 

[mina]

So if we don't like being single, we aren't focused on God? I can see where that could be true for some people, but it's not true for others. I try to focus on God in every situation in my life, even if I am single. I guess I'm single right now b/c He wants me to be. That doesn't mean that I want to stay here forever. I open myself to Him to be used by Him at this point in my life. I think it's ok to have dreams for your life. Marriage is something you have to be very very careful about, but it's not evil. It's not something to be feared. I can enjoy life as a single, but it's not all I want for the rest of my life.

 

[koban4max]

So if we don't like being single, we aren't focused on God? I can see where that could be true for some people, but it's not true for others. I try to focus on God in every situation in my life, even if I am single. I guess I'm single right now b/c He wants me to be. That doesn't mean that I want to stay here forever. I open myself to Him to be used by Him at this point in my life. I think it's ok to have dreams for your life. Marriage is something you have to be very very careful about, but it's not evil. It's not something to be feared. I can enjoy life as a single, but it's not all I want for the rest of my life.

well, i'm not saying that just because you don't like to be single..that you are not focused on god. I'm saying is that you shouldn't worry about what god is gonna give you. Maybe GOd wants you to be single rest of your life. But that doesn't mean you will be single just because I said it...it's up to god..

 

[mina]

Well, that's one reason why I am focused on God, so that I will be in His will. I don't think it's wrong to want marriage if you have a desire for it. God's not a wooden spoon God that hits us over the head for wanting something that He himself has created and deemed a good thing. If God wants me or anyone else to be single for the rest of our days and we are truly desiring His will then I believe He will give us a peace about it and a clear vision of what He wants with our life.

 

[silentpoet]

Right now I feel very much this burden. It weighs so heavily on my heart. I would call my life acursed, but I know God is at work even though it hurts beyond measure. I cannot see God making me this way and then wanting me to be alone, I don't see a God that cruel from my reading of the bible. But maybe I am wrong in some way.

 

[koban4max]

silent...from my previous post...just because certain people might be destined to be alone..don't mean you will be alone...god is not cruel..all i'm saying is that there will people who will be singled...ya know what i'm saying? I mean...god really know what you desire..so don't worry... he knows you before you were born to this world...
all I'm saying is that there are people who are single. I know people who died as they were alone...ya know?

 

[Tenorvoice]

To quote Paul (and some Bible Scollars(sp) belive that he was married at some point and time)

1Co 7:32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord.

33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—

34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.

35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

As you can see here, Paul is saying (through the Holy Spirit) that durring our singleness, we are able to focus more on the things of God. Which we should be doing, anyways. (even I struggle at this).

Being Single is not a bad thing in its self. But focusing on it and dwelling on it, is.

Cheer up, get out and do some work for the Lord your God.

The more that you do for others the better you will feel. There has to be some widows/widowers in your church. Give them a call. Go with a freind and check up on them. See if they need anything. Talk with them. More often than not, when you go to lift thier Spirits, yours are the ones that get the blessings. But do not do this, just to get the blessings. Do it because you care about them. But you must do this with a servents heart!!!!

They deserve to be honored and respected.

 

[koban4max]

Well, that's one reason why I am focused on God, so that I will be in His will. I don't think it's wrong to want marriage if you have a desire for it. God's not a wooden spoon God that hits us over the head for wanting something that He himself has created and deemed a good thing. If God wants me or anyone else to be single for the rest of our days and we are truly desiring His will then I believe He will give us a peace about it and a clear vision of what He wants with our life.

hahah..i liked how you see god as wooden spoon ..hahahahha
but anyway...
Check this out: God is not cruel, and you can dream all you want about marriage. The point that I'm making out to you is that there are people who destined to be single. That's it. I know some people died of old age and were single. I mean..I wish you can have someone, you understand?
But...who is the one controlling destiny? GOD.
For example, you may find this one guy attractive..and vise versa.
You go up to this guy and you said, "hi." He said, "hi" to you too.
You guys making conversation..and suddenly you popped a question
regarding him being single. Then suddenly, the guy said, 'yea...i got a girlfriend and we're getting engaged."

Any situation can happen.