Yesterday I had my birthday... it didnt turn out being a happy day. Friends were all out, I was in pain, I was bored and tired. I spent some of the evening just crying... I dont even know if I can explain why. I just felt alone. Until a good friend came online and just talked to me, after that i was ok. All I needed was someone who was just willing to spend some time talking to me.
I felt alone... how much more alone must Jesus have felt in those last moments on the cross? His words were 'Eli Eli, Lama Sabacthani', which in translation means, 'My God my God, why have you forsaken me?' For his whole life Jesus had walked in the presence of his Father. He had breathed life into people who were dead. He had healed the sick. Cast demons out of the oppressed. But in this last moment of his life, he cried out in desperation and loneliness. Asking his Father, the one person who he had always been in the presence of, 'why have you forsaken me?' Why am I alone? Where did you go? Why wont you say anything?
God turned his face away from his Son. His only begotten son. Because of my sin. Your sin. The sins that everyone who has ever existed on this earth have commited. Jesus alone was not guilty of this. Yet He alone took the punishment for it.
That thought alone makes me want to cry...That I could take the loneliness I felt last night, and multiply it time and time again and still not come close to the pain and anguish that He felt when his Father forsook him. Hanging on a piece of wood in front of a jeering crowd. Insults hurled at him. Curses thrown at the one person on earth that never did a thing wrong.
All because of what ive done... Jesus is up there because of me, because of everyone. How can I not love him for that? For going through such horrific persecution and pain for me...
Jesus said to a pharisee of the day that the most important commandment is this, 'To love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your mind and with all your strength, and love your neighbour as yourself.'
The question that arises for me when I read that is... do I? Do I love the Lord my God with all my heart? my mind? my strength? Do I love my neighbour as myself? I dont like the answer I come up with... because no I dont do that all the time, I dont even do that most of the time.
Im listening to a song on the computer called All to you, by Bleach.
The words are:
"I cant wait to get out of here
I cant fake through this pain I feel
Its been too long, that Ive been gone
Now Im coming back, Im coming back
So long, its gone
This burden that I carry
Ill give it all to You, to You
I wade out and the waves are bigger
I cant sort through all this junk so I surrender
Ive gone on, way too long
Now Ive had enough, Ill give it up to you
This storm is great, but You are so much greater
Chorus
I cant wait to see you standing there so bright and special
And all the waves that crashed around my head
Fall silent at the whisper of your voice"
I give it all to you Lord...
I felt alone... how much more alone must Jesus have felt in those last moments on the cross? His words were 'Eli Eli, Lama Sabacthani', which in translation means, 'My God my God, why have you forsaken me?' For his whole life Jesus had walked in the presence of his Father. He had breathed life into people who were dead. He had healed the sick. Cast demons out of the oppressed. But in this last moment of his life, he cried out in desperation and loneliness. Asking his Father, the one person who he had always been in the presence of, 'why have you forsaken me?' Why am I alone? Where did you go? Why wont you say anything?
God turned his face away from his Son. His only begotten son. Because of my sin. Your sin. The sins that everyone who has ever existed on this earth have commited. Jesus alone was not guilty of this. Yet He alone took the punishment for it.
That thought alone makes me want to cry...That I could take the loneliness I felt last night, and multiply it time and time again and still not come close to the pain and anguish that He felt when his Father forsook him. Hanging on a piece of wood in front of a jeering crowd. Insults hurled at him. Curses thrown at the one person on earth that never did a thing wrong.
All because of what ive done... Jesus is up there because of me, because of everyone. How can I not love him for that? For going through such horrific persecution and pain for me...
Jesus said to a pharisee of the day that the most important commandment is this, 'To love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your mind and with all your strength, and love your neighbour as yourself.'
The question that arises for me when I read that is... do I? Do I love the Lord my God with all my heart? my mind? my strength? Do I love my neighbour as myself? I dont like the answer I come up with... because no I dont do that all the time, I dont even do that most of the time.
Im listening to a song on the computer called All to you, by Bleach.
The words are:
"I cant wait to get out of here
I cant fake through this pain I feel
Its been too long, that Ive been gone
Now Im coming back, Im coming back
So long, its gone
This burden that I carry
Ill give it all to You, to You
I wade out and the waves are bigger
I cant sort through all this junk so I surrender
Ive gone on, way too long
Now Ive had enough, Ill give it up to you
This storm is great, but You are so much greater
Chorus
I cant wait to see you standing there so bright and special
And all the waves that crashed around my head
Fall silent at the whisper of your voice"
I give it all to you Lord...
