I fear death means we are through that is when I began to doubt. Several others on this forum have said they have OCD doubt and regular doubt about GOds existance but have never mentioned that regular doubt makes them agnostic. how does it not. How is it we know we are blaming the right thing OCD or outright doubt which in my opinion is being agnostic.
How is it that you know you're blaming the right thing on being agnostic?
Also, people like me that have shared in symptoms similar to yours have felt the same things. That was the biggest impediment for me, thinking that, because I had doubts, that I was giving up my belief in God. Belief and doubt are not interchangeable, however, that was what I learned from all of this. Belief is a choice that is based on logic, not a feeling. And while doubts can be logical, they can also be largely emotionally driven.
If you were to become an agnostic, you would have distinctively chosen to do so, and would have experienced relatively little stress about the decision. The fact that you are so disstressed about this in the first place indicates that being agnostic is not what you want. Your doubts are based on some form of "logic," or at lest your perception of it, but they are also based largely on feelings or emotions that you have.
Mistaking feelings for logic can be a dangerous thing. I know that it was for me.
Also, if just having doubts like you is enough to send you to hell, then most of the people on this forum are going there. Seems a bit odd, doesn't it?
One more thing, about you saying that there must not be such a thing as OCD doubt. Did you know that the way OCD works is that it takes even a microscopic amount of perceived wrong and treats it as if you have done the worst thing possible. We like to think in black and white. Either you have everything completely perfect and are okay, or you have slipped up in some way, even if by just a little, and have completely and utterly failed in everything.
I sense a bit of this thinking in what you have said. You wonder whether OCD doubt exists because, as you view it, "there is no way to distinguish" between OCD doubt and real doubt. So, since there is not a solid line between the two, you assume that everything must be real doubt, and thus, you think you are an agnostic bound for hell. You need to be careful of this.
Also, I don't know about others, but I don't think that I ever said that this is no way to distinguish between OCD doubt and real doubt.
You can't draw a fine line between them, but there are certainly signs that can indicate whether you're being obsessive compulsive, or more serious about your doubts. Again, these two things can mix together, but to say that there is no such thing as an OCD component to your doubt is a little extreme.
Try not to torture yourself! Hang in there!
