Aging

[akmom]

Since I am 30, I finally got around to browsing the "Terrific Thirties" forum. I kind of felt like the tone of the posts was often stressful. I peeked at the Fabulous Forties and Golden Eagles (50+) forums, and it looks like the general mood really improves. I mean the Golden Eagles are full of word games, jokes, and hobby tips, not struggles. I don't know if it's any indication about aging, but it was interesting to see the change in topics. I could live with that!

 

[Inkachu]

I've never bothered with "Terrific Thirties" lol.

I don't think most peoples' thirties are all that terrific. You're usually dealing with kids, jobs, marriage, aging parents, and generally trying to figure out how the heck other people survive this thing called "Life" lol.

Once the kids grow up and life settles down a bit (hopefully!), I can definitely see 40's and up being a much more upbeat phase of life! Even with laugh lines and gray hairs

 

[BigDaddy4]

I don't know if it is a reflection of "aging" per se, as it is stages of life. As Inkachu stated, kids, jobs, etc are main stressors in our 30s. By our 50's most of those things have worked themselves out.

 

[akmom]

True. But what about the new stressors? Like aging parents, health problems, saving for retirement? Does not each stage have stressors?

 

[Hetta]

Interestingly, I am just beginning a class on Life Span Development in my Psychology major. From the brief overview I read yesterday, it is expected that the "early middle aged" will be happier and less stressed. I fall into that category of age.

I do think though that it depends on what stage of life you are at, and not just on your age. Many people of my age have fully grown/flown kids and are thinking about retirement in ten or so years, and relaxing, whereas my youngest child is 14, my eldest is still at home and working through his post college certification so he can finally start his career (and leave home!!) So, I have a way to go with the 14yo before he will be trying his wings, and as I am a junior in a college program and intend to go to graduate school next year, I am obviously also looking for a career change, rather than heading into retirement. In fact, if I can pull off my career change, I would be glad to keep on working (even if just part time) for a long time to come. So I am still pretty stressed and often struggling to find enough hours in the day. But I am probably a very small percentage of the population for my age group.

This age we definitely are losing loved ones. Both of my parents are gone. Shockingly, some of my contemporaries are gone too. Many of my friends have lost their parents, in fact it is a rarity when someone my age tells me that they have parents still alive. Health problems is a given as are precautionary measures. As I approached 50, my primary doctor would cheerfully send me brochures to remind me that I would be getting my first colonoscopy at age 50. Yes, happy birthday Hetta, now come and let us stick this tube up your rectum. :o However, my health is good, and it is important for those in their 30s to champion their health with healthy eating, exercise, regular check ups etc. so that they retain that good health.

You can open an IRA at any age, once you have a regular income. Both my dh and I have retirement savings in place. I'm not too concerned about that at this point. Ask me again in 10 years.

 

[akmom]

What does your class define as "early middle aged"? Because I always figured that middle age was 35ish, based on a life expectancy of 70 (give or take). If 52 is early middle aged, well, that's pretty optimistic!

So far, I have pretty much found every year to be an improvement over the last. Early teens was a bit of a poor fit for me, but for the most part I have liked what each stage has had in store. I guess I just took from the Golden Eagles forum that life might tend to calm down with age, despite its own share of stressors. Is that not typical?

 

[Hetta]

I will look when I get home. I have forgotten the groupings now. I can also relate from the book the reasons why this group is calmer.

 

[mkgal1]

I recall seeing a TED talk video that mentioned a Chinese belief that in our mid years (not sure what that's defined as either) we often begin to shift our focus from living our life based on what others think to what we believe for ourselves. That certainly makes for a more peaceful life. Instead of "mid life crisis"....IIRC...the Chinese use the term "rebirth". That sounds so much better than "crisis"

 

[BigDaddy4]

True. But what about the new stressors? Like aging parents, health problems, saving for retirement? Does not each stage have stressors?

I'll let you know when I get there! lol

 

[Inkachu]

True. But what about the new stressors? Like aging parents, health problems, saving for retirement? Does not each stage have stressors?

Heck, I'm there already and I'm only 36 lol. Sigh! Maybe when I'm 80 I'll be able to relax

 

[Inkachu]

I recall seeing a TED talk video that mentioned a Chinese belief that in our mid years (not sure what that's defined as either) we often begin to shift our focus from living our life based on what others think to what we believe for ourselves. That certainly makes for a more peaceful life. Instead of "mid life crisis"....IIRC...the Chinese use the term "rebirth". That sounds so much better than "crisis"

I like that attitude... if only the body came with it

 

[Hetta]

Okay so skipping over all the younger groups, early adulthood is ages 20s and 30s, middle adulthood is 40s and 50s and late adulthood is 60s and 70s-to death.

"Early adulthood is a time of establishing personal and economic independence, pursuing career development and, for many, selecting a mate, learning to live with someone in an intimate way, starting a family and rearing children."

"Middle adulthood is a time of expanding personal and social involvement and responsibility; of assisting the next generation in becoming competent, mature individuals, and of reaching and maintaining satisfaction in a career."

"Late adulthood" is a time of life review, retirement from paid employment, and adjustment to new social roles involving decreasing strength and health." It goes on to say that this group is growing rapidly in the U.S. In this group, the "oldest old" is 85+ years at which point people begin to lose cognitive skills, experience stress and are more frail.

"An increasing number of studies indicate that at least in the US, adults are happier as they age ... in one study (Stone and others, 2010) ... stress and anger declined sharply from the early 20s. Worry was elevated during middle age and then declined - but sadness showed no change from 18 to 85."

"Another US study (Yang 2008) showed that 33% of people were very happy at 88 compared to 24% in late teens/early 20s .. despite the increase of physical problems and losses that older adults experience, they are more content with what they have in their lives, have better relationships with the people who matter to them, are less pressured to achieve, have more time for leisurely pursuits, and have many years of experience that may help them use their accrued wisdom to adapt better to their circumstances than younger adults do."

 

[Inkachu]

Does anyone else feel terrified at the idea of "decreasing health and strength"? Or is it only me?

 

[Hetta]

Does anyone else feel terrified at the idea of "decreasing health and strength"? Or is it only me?

No, you're not alone. I figure, okay, I have 33 years before I have to worry about any of that (hopefully).

 

[BigDaddy4]

Does anyone else feel terrified at the idea of "decreasing health and strength"? Or is it only me?

Not I. I shredded my Achillies a few years ago. That brought me to reality of my mortality.

However, my wife, 38, just got diagnosed with "frozen shoulder syndrome". Along with a "loose knee", she is now coming to grips with her aging body. She was in tears yesterday.

 

[Inkachu]

No, you're not alone. I figure, okay, I have 33 years before I have to worry about any of that (hopefully).

Well, the stats you quoted say it STARTS at age 60... not fair!! I don't want to be in "decreasing health" for 20 or 30 years, my gosh.

Not I. I shredded my Achillies a few years ago. That brought me to reality of my mortality.

However, my wife, 38, just got diagnosed with "frozen shoulder syndrome". Along with a "loose knee", she is now coming to grips with her aging body. She was in tears yesterday.

That's so sad. I'm not without my share of health issues, but I still consider myself strong and healthy overall. Sigh. This is so depressing lol.

 

[Hetta]

Well, the stats you quoted say it STARTS at age 60... not fair!! I don't want to be in "decreasing health" for 20 or 30 years, my gosh.

But the "oldest of the old" is not until 85. I intend to stay in good physical and mental health until then. If it's all downhill afterwards, then I had a good innings.

 

[ValleyGal]

In one place where I worked as a nurse, one of my residents was strict Christian Scientist - not even so much as a piece of chocolate or cup of coffee because of the caffeine. She'd never even taken an aspirin for a headache. She was in long term care, but she did almost all her own care, and was mentally alert with no signs of dementia. She was 111 years old when she broke her hip; 112 when she died.

Take good care of yourself, keep your body and brain exercised, and be careful of what you put into your body. I'm not saying we can all live to that old, but it sure gives them an edge. I thought this was a terrific video - iirc, she is 84....

Coldplay - The Hardest Part - YouTube

 

[Inkachu]

I intend to do my utmost to stay strong and healthy, but there's only so much we can do; genetics and environment and God have a say, too lol. But YES, I whole heartedly agree that we should be our own #1 advocate for our health!

 

[CounselorForChrist]

I've always said people shouldn't make decisions about marriage until men are about 30 and women about 25. Its when we seem mature enough to consider things correctly without that young mindset of "Its gonna be a fairytale!". We know what we want for the most part. So it makes sense people in their 30s are crabby. lol. Your still getting through things now that your more mature and working things out. My friends are usually 40+.

Does anyone else feel terrified at the idea of "decreasing health and strength"? Or is it only me?

We are human. We know we start dying since they day we are born. So its natural to fear decreasing health and strength. Being disabled I worry about the health thing even more because I know I won't likely last as long as most would if they were healthy. But I can't control it so I try not to worry about it really. Instead I just focus taking care of myself now and staying healthy.