Aged caring

[Blingmo]

Most of the peoples i have seen in this modern world don't treat the elders or simply stating that i think it is the most preferable for the families that instead of shifting the aged care persons to the elderly care center i do really feel that they must be provided proper attention and care and no matter what problem he is facing can be cured if his family members are properly paying attention and care to him at home then i must say that no one would send them to the aged caring centers....

 

[dogs4thewin]

Yeah my Aunt G looked after her mother (also Father's mother) until she got so bad that she could not get in and out of her wheelchair and Aunt G could no longer provide the proper care. She was placed in the Nursing Home (where she was visited on a fairly regular basis until she passed in a local hospital almost three months later on 2-16-12.

 

[rowantree]

What you say is true, but also the carers need caring for. I am caring for my disabled husband, who is in a wheelchair, and also my 86 year old mother who has emphysema and other health problems. I am exhausted.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

I think we need more respite care for caregivers of parents so they can stay home longer. But there may come a time when a relative needs more care than can be provided at home. Each family differs as to resources and capabilities as well as support to do this.

Ideally, we would keep family at home, but as rowantree says, it is exhausting - emotionally and physically.

 

[rowantree]

Sometimes lifting is involved, also, and the carer needs to have the ability to lift - which is not always the case. I certainly cannot lift as I have bad arthritis and other health issues. I am expected to do things that I physically cannot do.

It is not that I don't agree with the premise, but I do think that some things need to be considered regarding the abilities of the carer. For myself, also, there is a need to TALK. There is no-one for me to talk to about what I am going through. Sometimes I get so depressed that I just want to die and have had suicidal thoughts. I cry a lot sometimes, and just feel as if no-one cares about me. It is true - no-one does care about me. It is always all about the person being cared for, and the carer is cast aside. Even my doctors will care for my husband but will brush aside any of my physical issues, and I am told that I need to think of my husband. I am at the end of my tether with this. Also, the relationship between myself and my husband has changed so much - he is now more of a patient than my husband who was my friend and with whom I shared intimacy and affection. It is very hard. A hard transition to make. I have no-one to lean on any more, if I need someone, which we all do from time to time.

I would not have this any other way. I would not put my husband into a Home. However, I do so wish that some thoughts could be for the carer and that people could be provided just to TALK to. This is what I need and probably many other carers do too. So it is not as simple as it may seem. Provision needs to be made for the carer and the carer needs to be seen as a person as well.

 

[LisaUK]

Hi I am new. I am caring for my Mum, she is 88 and has Alzheimer's disease. I am lucky, I have two sisters at home with me and we are coping between us. I always had a high and mighty attitude towards those who put their parent/s into care, but honestly, having been through the worst stages of Alzheimer's I have to admit that if my sisters were not here with me I could never have coped alone.
I do think there should be a lot more support for carers. There should be set times for carers to meet at community centres and day centres where we can share what we are going through. I don't mean the odd meeting scheduled at an impossible hour, what I mean is a regular time set aside for us where it is taken for granted that you can just walk in and talk. I think it should be nationwide, a regular day of the week and hour of the day in every community centre and day centre - and not left to individuals to get a group together, hit or miss. Actually if the meetings were held in church, there are so many people caring and suffering in silence that the churches would be full to the rafters. If it was a regular set time each week you could then get cover to have a couples of hours off - time to yourself to get out of the house and speak to other people going through the same thing.

 

[Castaway57]

Sometimes lifting is involved, also, and the carer needs to have the ability to lift - which is not always the case. I certainly cannot lift as I have bad arthritis and other health issues. I am expected to do things that I physically cannot do.

It is not that I don't agree with the premise, but I do think that some things need to be considered regarding the abilities of the carer. For myself, also, there is a need to TALK. There is no-one for me to talk to about what I am going through. Sometimes I get so depressed that I just want to die and have had suicidal thoughts. I cry a lot sometimes, and just feel as if no-one cares about me. It is true - no-one does care about me. It is always all about the person being cared for, and the carer is cast aside. Even my doctors will care for my husband but will brush aside any of my physical issues, and I am told that I need to think of my husband. I am at the end of my tether with this. Also, the relationship between myself and my husband has changed so much - he is now more of a patient than my husband who was my friend and with whom I shared intimacy and affection. It is very hard. A hard transition to make. I have no-one to lean on any more, if I need someone, which we all do from time to time.

I would not have this any other way. I would not put my husband into a Home. However, I do so wish that some thoughts could be for the carer and that people could be provided just to TALK to. This is what I need and probably many other carers do too. So it is not as simple as it may seem. Provision needs to be made for the carer and the carer needs to be seen as a person as well.

It looks like you are from England? I think that is what is meant by UK? lol. Sorry, what do I know? But the reason I even commented on that was because it is hard for me to comment much on the resources available in your area, but I can say a bit about how it is here. That might help you to find something where you are.

I worked in Home Care Nursing for 14 years, and I have seen a number of cases where care givers develop severe symptoms, both physical and emotional, so I agree with you, care givers certainly do need help in a number of ways.

I am not an expert on the subject - I am not sure anyone is, but we can all have some input and hopefully help somehow. You did mention more than once how there is no one for you to talk to about it. What sources have you tried to find someone to talk to about this? I agree; it is important for you to find some where to talk about your situation.

Here where I live, for eg., people can go to a Provincial Mental Health Clinic, and see a social worker about such things, and if it is run by the government here; it is free. Most such clinics here tell people about the various support groups in their area that they could go to to meet and discuss with others who are going through the same things. What have you found in your area so far?

 

[Faith504]

There is definately no limit to age we should provide care to others. It is even considered a blessing to help the old.especially considering we will be there one day.