Age Differences

Ave Maria · Sep 29, 2005

What do you all think about age differences? I am very much interested in a guy who is 4 years younger than me, 19. Now, If a 23 year old man was interested in a 19 year old lady, most people would see nothing wrong with that. However, lots of people seem to find something wrong with a 23 year old woman interested in a 19 year old guy. Isn't this just a bit hypocritical? What is your opinion?

AngylBelle · Sep 29, 2005

It is can be very hypocritical IMHO.

I think the reason for this stereotype may be the fact that the world assumes, and often rightly so, that women mature faster than men. In fact age discrimination, ageism, I think is just as bad as prejudices against races, creeds, genders, etc.

My beau and I are almost 5 years apart in age...but then again this is the reverse of what you are talking about.

Don't let social thinking dictate the way you live your life. If you've prayed about this and you feel this is where you are being led, who do you think you should pay more attention to? God or society? Easy answer .

Remember that a relationship is between you, your S.O. and God...enter into it that way, and snide remarks you may hear in the duration of your relationship will go in one ear and out the other. Personal and spiritual happiness is what matters, and God gave you the blessed ability to love the differences in everyone. Listen to you heart.

Maeyken · Sep 29, 2005

For me, the hardest part about my age difference with my fiance was getting over my own worries about what other people would think. (he's 8 yrs older than me, so a little different than your situation... but I think this can still apply).
For me, I think that as long as the two people in the relationship are ok with the difference, then it shouldn't be an issue. I wa very worried about what other people would think and say about our relationship, but really it's not been an issue. Every once in awhile we get comments, but for the most part people have been very supportive. I think as long as you don't make it a big deal, people will probably forget about it once you guys have been together a little while.

And yes, I do think it's a little hypocritical, but I don't think there's a problem with it!

Oblivious · Sep 29, 2005

Isn't it sad how people can be so judgmental and hypocritical?

Age is irrelevant. If you're interested in the guy, go for it and best of luck!

AveMaria · Sep 29, 2005

Not a problem to me, but I know there are folks out there who have issues with it.

Cordy · Sep 29, 2005

I think the reason why it might be more accepted for girls to date older guys rather than the other way around is because men are supposed to develop at a slower speed than women. Having said that, if you dont feel there are maturity or life stages issues with this particular guy, then dont worry about it. I think these things are case by case, and you cant make a universal decree about them.

rebel_conservative · Oct 1, 2005

Holly3278 said:
What do you all think about age differences? I am very much interested in a guy who is 4 years younger than me, 19. Now, If a 23 year old man was interested in a 19 year old lady, most people would see nothing wrong with that. However, lots of people seem to find something wrong with a 23 year old woman interested in a 19 year old guy. Isn't this just a bit hypocritical? What is your opinion?

I see nothing wrong with age-gap relationships like that. I am a 22 year old gentleman, the love of my life is a wonderful, loving, caring, intelligent, funny, special, amazing lady who happens to be 13 years older than me. all that matters is that we love each other.

rebel_conservative · Oct 1, 2005

found this through google

Linnis · Oct 1, 2005

My husband is six years my senior, I was 18 when I met him. Age gap relationships can work if both parties are on a level playing feild as in terms of experience etc. We were because I'd already been working, supporting myself so it wasn't like I was some kid compaired to him.

If this 19 year old male, and you have something in common go for it. If it turns out you do not have a lot in common or enough to build a lasting rleationship on, no harm done.

So yeah I see nothing wrong with it.

JesusWasn'tWhite · Oct 1, 2005

Think about this.
13 year old girl. 19 year old guy.
Difference?
Yes.
Age matters.
It matter less as you get older, but it still matters.

AngylBelle · Oct 1, 2005

JesusWasn'tWhite said:
Think about this.
13 year old girl. 19 year old guy.
Difference?
Yes.
Age matters.
It matter less as you get older, but it still matters.

That is a completely different situation because what you described is ILLEGAL. In adult relationships, age shouldn't matter...maturity on the other hand, does.

Leanna · Oct 1, 2005

Not a big deal if you want to date him I don't have a problem with it, but you might have problems with his maturity. Men mature slower than women. My baby's father is 21, almost 22, 3 years younger than me and we had issues with his maturity, even now in dealing with this situation.

b*unique · Oct 2, 2005

JesusWasn'tWhite said:
Think about this.
13 year old girl. 19 year old guy.
Difference?
Yes.
Age matters.
It matter less as you get older, but it still matters.

your example is sick

age and maturity is not the same

love and understanding is all that matters

JesusWasn'tWhite · Oct 2, 2005

Love & understanding, and maturity?

Linnis · Oct 2, 2005

I do not think that age gap relationships in the context of *illegal*(which is relative State to State, let alone country to country) activity have anything to do with this topic.

Let's keep this to age gap relationships involving two people 18 and over.

I have told my husband males mature about 4 years slower mentally than physically. Sorry guys

b*unique · Oct 2, 2005

I don't think we can generalise,is subjective,all the people have different needs and
I dont see age as a problem,the happiest couple i know ,he is 67 she is 41,they have 4 great daughters and love in that family is glowing.

Also,in my life,there is a large gap,the other way ,I am much older,and I could not be happier!!

HisEagle · Oct 2, 2005

Holly, it really all depends on how deeply you two feel about each other. If you really care about each other, and can remain committed to one another, then a 4-year age difference is nothing. Think about it this way.... it won't make any difference when you are my age (turning 40 in a couple of weeks), and he's 36.

JustLiz87 · Oct 5, 2005

I'm almost 19 and my boyfriend just turned 26. We have been dating for a year and a half. At first, some people were shocked and judgmental about the whole situation, but once they got to know us as a couple, they forgot all about the age difference. I think it helps that I have lived on my own (at a residential high school and now college) since I was 15. Still, sometimes I worry what other people think because it hurts to know others can be so judgmental and decisive about a situation they know nothing about. But I know that God wants us to be together and we are planning to get engaged soon. It can be hard at times, but if you know what you are doing is right, then go for it. The people who argue with you or make comments just don't realize the wonderful thing you two have and once they do, they will soon forget all of their notions about age differences, hopefully.

MrsSeptemberPenguin · Oct 5, 2005

I don't see anything wrong with it. Some people think the guy should be older because of the submission thing, and you are supposed to submit to your elders type thing. I'm in a relationship with a younger guy to, but not much younger. I don't see anything wrong with 4 years difference.....

Diane_Windsor · Oct 6, 2005

Holly,

Age is just a number-as long as you're both over 18 you can date whomever you want

BTW, I think you mean double-standard. Hypocracy is when someone tells you not do something but then turns around and does it himself.

Diane

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Age Differences

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