silentpoet said:
I am really down right now with CHristmas coming up and being jobless and alone. I just don't see much point to making an effort in any area when it is so obvious God does not want me happy. I have not seen any evidence that would lead me to trust that God has good things for me. Not one single shred of evidence, not one reason to hope. And don't mention the hope of heaven, that does nothing for me right now. God has made me suffer for His purposes. And I will serve Him, but I will not love such a cruel God. Nor will I trust Him until I see evidence that merits trust. Every instance where I have trusted God or at least made the effort has lead to pain.
Beyond the trust issue, I am making strides in service and working on developing my gifts. But I don't know if there is much point to that when God has ordained suffering to be my cup. What point is there in serving a God who won't answer my needs? If I don't get something soon, I am not long for this world. I am very tired of hanging on and being kicked at. I need a prayer to be answered. I feel very odd because I can write real encouraging words, but they don't reach deep down where I hurt. And God has not shown me any good thing to cling to.
I must say I can relate to being without a job--bills piling up and all that stuff. I lost my job 2 months ago and have not been able to find suitable employment yet.
But my friend, you are very mistaken that God is the blame for your suffering right now. Happiness depends upon circumstances but you can have the joy of the Lord in your life.
Neiamiah was rebuilding the temple wall in Jerusalem and was being opposed by Sanballat but he kept going and working for the Lord.
Neh 8:10
Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.
KJV
The Lord did not promise that we would never have problems. Our faith is going to be tried by the Lord.
Dan 12:10
Many shall be purified, and made white, and tried ; but the wicked shall do wickedly: and none of the wicked shall understand; but the wise shall understand.
KJV
Paul said to count it all joy when you fall into divers temptations:
James 1:2-8
2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.
7 For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.
8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.
KJV
God is true to his Word--but you have the choice to believe it or not to believe it.
1 Thess 2:13
For this cause also thank we God without ceasing, because, when ye received the word of God which ye heard of us, ye received it not as the word of men, but as it is in truth, the word of God, which effectually worketh also in you that believe.
KJV
We are all going to have problems and there is no escaping that. Heard a story one time of a woman who asked a minister to pray that the devil would leave her alone--know what he said was we will pray for you to die becasue as long as you are alive on this earth the devil is going to come against you.