Afraid?

[x.miranda.x]

Everyone keeps telling me that I need a boyfriend. I know I don't, but sometimes I think it might be nice. I have never had one, like 95% of the rest of the people I know. But I'm not sure. The thing is, the thought of being in a relationship kinda scares me. I don't know why, but it just freaks me out, yet I want it at the same time. I love having friends, it's not that I don't like people, because I love being with people.... I just get scared, and I don't know what my deal is. Can anyone help/explain/share advice?(and please don't go on about how i don't need a boyfriend, my question isn't whether i need one or not)So thanks ahead of time

 

[goldenviolet]

bless your heart! at age 14 it must be quite an "in thing". i personally think relationships are harder for younger people. you can go on missions, volluteer at church, or volunteer at community activities like shelters or animal rescues etc. and not worry about maintaining someone else's needs. relationships take alot of your focus. plus there's the whole issue of "love". it's a very tricky emotion for alot of girls.
they get caught up in appearances and such. for boys there's hormone issues.
making out is not innocent. it's a for-play for things better blessed with marriage.
i'm proud of you for your independant additute! do you know what your spiritual gifts are yet? these are the things we need to think upon. speaking to you from raising two boys and two girls; cultivate who you are in the Lord first.

 

[goldenviolet]

after i posted and left...
i started having flashbacks to when my sons and daughters had opiset-sex friendships, dating relationships etc., with my rules, they weren't ever without a shaperone. i exsplained the reasons why to them. i wanted my children to be attracted on a spiritual level first. when you walk in a godly way; others see it and it is a very attractive blessing. i encouraged youth group and other activities. being around others who are also working on building up their spiritual gifts. fellowshipping with others who seek spiritual growth and health. be sure to make good boundries for yourself. xo dee

 

[anopenhand]

My advice is this. If you are unsure then wait. Don't worry about what everyone else is doing or isn't doing. If you meet the right person you will know, the Lord is good to us in that way. Make sure you see a person for who they are however, young men can have tongues like the serpent and we all remember where that got Eve. If you find a nice young man who is willing to respect you, your beliefs and your freedom to live the way you choose then my blessings to you. If you don't feel the Lords hand upon your shoulder, then wait.

 

[Johnnz]

At 14 there are many new experiences awaiting you. Often the first time for anything can be scary, but with experience comes greater confidence.

But you really don't need a boyfriend at your age. Don't be pressured by others. Far better for you to develop good friendships and relationships with both sexes and learn about each other that way. You will make better choices later if you have already gained some knowledge of the kind of guys you appreciate most.

John
NZ

 

[Niffer]

Hey Miranda,

So I know how you feel. Lots of girls dated when I was 14, but like you, the whole situation seemed kinda "weird."
Not wrong, per say. I knew that one day I wanted a boyfriend, but at the time, the thought more stressed me out then made me happy.

Honestly, guys your age are immature, and while I'm sure they'll grow up to be great men some day, right now they're just silly boys. And probably not worth the time worrying over them.
You've got lots on your plate right now! Highschool soon, learning to drive, having a good time with your friends etc.
Having a boy, who probably still thinks its hilarious to pull on girls hair and fling elastics at them when they're not looking, probably isn't the best use of your time.

Don't feel pressured. You have TONS of time to date when you're older, and it'll be more fun then because you'll be able to actually drive places and do things with him, as opposed to having his mom or your mom drive you guys around.

Make guy friends - right now they'll be much better guy friends then boyfriends.

Best of luck!
- Niff