Afraid to open up

[Latino]

hey everyone...

for the past year (maybe longer) i have been really depressed, suffered badly from anxiety and get panic attacks. Its so hard for me to fall asleep at night because I feel so tense.

I try to hide my emotions from people, and I try not telling my friends about my problems, because I dont want them to think i'm a moaner or that i want them to pity me. When i'm with my friends i act as if everything is cool... and they think i'm a really happy person.
Could it be due to me keeping my pain to myself that it hurts me so badly?
I hardly open myself up to anyone, other than my mom.

 

[goldenviolet]

well, talking here is a great release... and a new start. and now we know, so we get to love and encourage you.

 

[churchlady]

hey everyone...

for the past year (maybe longer) i have been really depressed, suffered badly from anxiety and get panic attacks. Its so hard for me to fall asleep at night because I feel so tense.

I try to hide my emotions from people, and I try not telling my friends about my problems, because I dont want them to think i'm a moaner or that i want them to pity me. When i'm with my friends i act as if everything is cool... and they think i'm a really happy person.
Could it be due to me keeping my pain to myself that it hurts me so badly?
I hardly open myself up to anyone, other than my mom.

Latino, do you know what it is that is causing your depression? If it is too private to share, that is ok. We're here for you.

Father, I pray for Latino, that you will embrace him with the assurance of Your love. I pray that you will lead him in the triumps of Jesus, as the Word tells us that You do. Send to him, Father, the provision of your help, according to Your perfect knowledge of what he needs. I thank you for this mercy and grace for him, Lord. Amen.

 

[Linux98]

Could it be due to me keeping my pain to myself that it hurts me so badly?

What is the reason you keep it to yourself? If the reason is pride then it will make it hurt worse. At least it does in my case.

 

[Latino]

thanks for the encouragement!

linux98, i think yes, my pride is defintely one reason i try to hide my emotions.

I dont know what exactly is the cause of my depression, but i think one reason is because i feel so alone. maybe me not having had a girlfriend for 2 years now also has something to do with it.

Thing is, I have been living by myself for the past year in a new country, and I just miss my family so much, and i think that a girlfriend could give me company.

I only want to date christian girls, so that narrows my options down alot. I've had very pretty non-christian girls interested in me, but i turn them down. Sometimes i kick myself afterwards ... and think that i made the wrong choice.

church is obviously the best place for me to meet christian girls. But i dont have the courage to go up to them and talk, because i feel like i'm hitting on a girl at church, which is just wrong.

 

[Linux98]

I only want to date christian girls, so that narrows my options down alot. I've had very pretty non-christian girls interested in me, but i turn them down. Sometimes i kick myself afterwards ... and think that i made the wrong choice.

church is obviously the best place for me to meet christian girls. But i dont have the courage to go up to them and talk, because i feel like i'm hitting on a girl at church, which is just wrong.

You shouldn't feel bad about asking Christian girls out. It is ok to hit on them. In fact, if you are serious about God they will want you to ask them out. Christian girls have a hard time finding Christian men who are serious about God. The difference is you need to change your way of thinking about the date; the end goal needs to be different than when you would date non-Christian girls.

If that is difficult for you to overcome in the short term try online dating. You don't need to actually go out on dates with the girls just treat them like pen pals. Once you talk to them enough you won't have any problem asking a girl out at your church.

 

[Latino]

You shouldn't feel bad about asking Christian girls out. It is ok to hit on them. In fact, if you are serious about God they will want you to ask them out. Christian girls have a hard time finding Christian men who are serious about God.

yeah, gotta agree with you dude.
I havent dated a Christian girl before, so its something new to me. I guess once I take the first step it'll be all down hill from there.
Penpals is also a good starting point. The ice is broken so much easier that way.

 

[bluehorse]

Dunno is much i can say will be of help just i know how much keeping things inside can make you worse and eat away at you. i did that for years and people though i was just a quite person so never thought to actuallly see if i was ok. I have a couple of close friends who i've started to open up to, but whats helping me most is to talk about how i'm feeling in a depression support group online.

I'm in the same boat with relationships, since making a commitment to God i haven't dated cos no ones asked me. Don't feel bad bout going over to speak to girls in church i guess get to know then and see how things go

 

[Linux98]

yeah, gotta agree with you dude.
I havent dated a Christian girl before, so its something new to me. I guess once I take the first step it'll be all down hill from there.
Penpals is also a good starting point. The ice is broken so much easier that way.

I came from being an atheist to a Christian. I had the same reservations about dating Christian girls that you seem to have. In addition, I felt like I was unworthy to date a Christian girl so I had a double whammy working against me.

Hang in there, Latino. Once you become familiar with talking to Christian girls everything will fall into place. The great part is that they will love to talk about God just as much as you do. And that will a be HUGE source of happiness for you.

 

[Linux98]

I have a couple of close friends who i've started to open up to, but whats helping me most is to talk about how i'm feeling in a depression support group online.

I'm glad to hear that bluehorse. It is helpful to know that you aren't alone when you feel the depths of depression.

I may have learned something new to help. You can try it and see if it helps you.

When I am in the pit of pain I begin to ask God where he is. In the past it used to make it hurt worse because I would never hear a response from God. It was as though I cried out to God and He just let me dangle in the wind alone.

But now I do it differently. I still ask God where he is but instead of waiting from him to come to me I run to where he is at; it is far too painful for me to wait around for God to come to where I am at. And the first place I go is Psalm 92. God made us to give praise and worship to Him. That means that if we praise Him we will immediately be where he is at. So if you feel the pain turn on worship music or sing worship songs out loud. That will immediately put you close to God. It will also prevent the devil from getting in your head because your mind will be filled with praise for God and the devil will have no room to work.

 

[Latino]

I'm in the same boat with relationships, since making a commitment to God i haven't dated cos no ones asked me. Don't feel bad bout going over to speak to girls in church i guess get to know then and see how things go

yeah, i prefer to meet girls just to become friends with in the beginning. If we see we have stuff in common, then we can take it from there. I believe that relationships that start of as friendships are usually longer lasting.

In addition, I felt like I was unworthy to date a Christian girl so I had a double whammy working against me.

I feel that too!! and i thought i was the only one! lol

 

[InTheFlame]

It's important to have a couple of people who you can be honest with. You probably don't need a girlfriend... it sounds as though what you need is some REAL CHRISTIAN FRIENDS. Friends who you can ring up and say, "Hey, I'm having a bad week - would you pray for me?" Church should be a safe place to be honest. Not whiny, just honest. I'm not sure it's necessary to go into detail with anyone but God (writing down prayers can be very therapeutic, btw!), but it's good to be able to tell people you've been depressed and feeling lonely - esp. if they're willing to help out in making life LESS lonely!

Did that help?

 

[Linux98]

It's important to have a couple of people who you can be honest with. You probably don't need a girlfriend... it sounds as though what you need is some REAL CHRISTIAN FRIENDS.

This is very good advice too. Having regular Christian friends to hang out with is one of the most helpful things for depression.

 

[Latino]

thanks for the advice Intheflame

I have only lived in England for a year, and i have made a handful of good christian friends. I didnt open up to them though, mainly due to pride and not wanting them to think i'm a complainer.

This has obviously made me suffer, so i can say that i have learnt from my mistake. Locking depression inside is definitely not the way to go!